25 November 2008

The Dating Game: Horror Stories

When he finished his esophagial emancipation proclamation he stood up, did a few stretches and asked me if I was ready to go on. I was. I was ready to go on home. In trying to impress me or himself or somebody he only disgusted me. Even if he hadn’t gorged himself at lunch I wouldn’t have been impressed by his running abilities. Lots of people can run farther and faster than me. So what? That’s not going to get you into my bed. By eating the way he did he only showed me that he doesn’t think things through. By refusing my suggestions and assistance every step of the way he told me that he wasn’t interested in my input. None of this is really the impression you should want to make on a first date.

And letting your lunch roam free in the great outdoors doesn’t help either.

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