27 February 2010

Purim

Im Buch Ester ist erzählt, dass Haman als oberster Beamter des Königs unbarmherzig ausgenutzt habe. Die königliche Sklaven mußte vor ihm niederbeugen. Sie waren bis zum Hals in der Scheiße stecken. Aber Mordechai habe sich als Jude Verpisst euch gesagt. Aus Rache das Haman die Vernichtung verarschen Juden beschlossen haben. Ester habe sich für die uneingeschränkte Freiheit der Juden abverlangt und Haman wurde zusammen mit tonnenweise weiteren Persern getötet. Todes ist das, was an uns vorbeizieht, während wir damit beschäftigt sind, andere Pläne zu schmieden.

25 February 2010

A Conspiracy of One

Take any story about the Israel-Palestine conflict where the International Community expresses moral outrage over whatever bad thing Israel did and replace Israel with America or any European country and replace Palestinian terrorist with guerrilla or rebel fighter. Is the International Community ever morally outraged when Spain kills a few Basque separatists? Imagine if Quebec launched rockets into the US. Would the US apologise for not speaking French and building the Erie Canal? Or would American Marines invade the hell out of Canada? Why is there more moral outrage over Israeli soldiers defending its borders than there is over American soldiers fighting half a world away from its borders? That is a rhetorical question. I already know the answer.  

21 February 2010

Year of the Tiger

But they invaded Iraq at almost exactly the same time the war in Darfur began. Saddam Hussein was uncooperative and was executed for causing the deaths of about 200 people. Also there was something about weapons of far less destructive power than what Iran and North Korea are trying to build. American soldiers are still in Iraq three years after Hussein’s death. Anywhere between 150 000 and 1 million people have been killed since the invasion. The current government says there are about 5 million orphans.

19 February 2010

Best in Show




Charlie Chaplin committed the ultimate Hollywood sin. Not his interest in teenage girls. That is fairly common. Not his communist sympathies. They are all commies. Except Chaplin who really was not. He forever ruined his Oscar chances by saying the awards were stupid. Chaplin and The Circus were nominated for best picture, director, actor, writing. After he publicly complained about the awards all the nominations were cancelled. City Lights was nominated for nothing. Cimarron won best picture that year. Remember Cimarron? Directed by Wesley Ruggles? Modern Times was nominated for nothing. The best picture was The Great Ziegfeld directed by Robert Z Leonard. Anybody remember him?

15 February 2010

Valentine’s Day Massacre




I had B, C, D line up in front of me and remove their uniforms piece by piece. They tore off their epaulettes and peeled off their field jackets. Each was trying to disrobe more seductively than the other. They took the knee pads out of their trousers and whipped off their rigger’s belts. Next came the trousers themselves.

There is no graceful way for a man to remove his trousers. I don’t care what Jane Goodall says.

12 February 2010

農曆新年快樂

下週日是農曆春節,在中國稱作為春節或農曆春節。在中國以外的區域稱為中國人的新年。不論你如何稱呼它,它開始於中國農民曆的第一天,不同於穆斯林與希伯來人的月曆,這個假期開始於農民曆的第一天,結束於農曆十五,最後一天就是元宵節,但是不同國家的中國人通常只慶祝剛開始的前幾天。

對於年代的排序取決於你和誰談論,新年開始慶祝於4707年或4647年。在中國的部分地區稱為民國99年(像是台灣),年代的開始主要是因為朝代的替換,新朝代的開始就稱為元年,清朝是最後一個帝王統治的朝代,它結束於西元1911年,中華民國開始於西元1912年,近年多數的中國人開始使用羅馬的曆法而稱為西元2010年,不論你使用那種曆法(農民曆或是西洋曆),它即將由中國生肖的牛年到今年的虎年。

在節慶的開始,家家戶戶會開始清掃門戶(又稱做大掃除)並貼上新的春聯。紅色在中國傳統是非常幸運的顏色,它也象徵了吉祥與喜樂。在春節期間,人們會用紅包裝入壓歲錢給年輕的成員。雖然到後來錢都花到7-11買東西,但裝了錢的紅包可以驅走不好的事情。單數(1.3.5.7.9)在中國人的眼中代表不吉利,雙數(2.6.8.10)就代表好事,所以中國人常說「好事成雙」。除了數字4對中國人來說代表不吉利外,因為發音與「死」相近。大部分的中國人喜歡「6」代表「六六大順」、「8」與「發」的發音表示「發財」與「賺大錢」。小孩常常會說些吉祥話向是「恭喜發財」、「新年快樂」,雙手環抱鞠躬來拿取紅包,當長輩看到小孩可愛的模樣,很難說「不」。

星期六就是農曆除夕(又稱大年夜),所有家中的成員會一起吃年夜飯(又稱圍爐)。年菜中一定會有鱼(象徵著年年有餘)、油角、年糕、羅漢齋等象徵著繁榮興旺。年夜飯也是一年當中最重要的一頓晚餐,傳統的習俗家人會再吃完年夜飯後到廟裡燒香祈求未來的一年平安順遂,但這幾年比較受歡迎的是除夕的跨年守歲活動。有些家庭在初一的早上會吃水餃,因為水餃的形狀和古時候的錢「元寶」相似,象徵著新的一年衣食無缺,有些家庭甚至會在水餃中包入新的硬幣,當你吃到包了錢幣的水餃會帶給你一年的好運。

在大年初一人們會去向家中的長輩拜年,有時需要長途跋涉或是搭乘大眾交通工具像是火車。的鼠年中國遇到非常大的暴風雪,影響到上百萬人的返鄉之路。這天也是舞龍、舞獅與鞭炮聲齊鳴的時刻,比較大的城市像是北京和香港更將這種表演當成公眾的演出。農曆的初二也就是回娘家,這天所有出嫁的女兒,會從夫家返回家中探視他們的雙親或是祖父母。對少數人而言,這幾天需要花額外的時間返家探親與拜年。

經過三到四天的假期,大部分的人在農曆初五會回到工作崗位。但是過節的氣氛還是延續,人們還是會吃特別的食物與放鞭炮(煙火)。但相對的就比較少去跟親戚拜年。

農曆春節的第15天就是元宵節,這一天到處充滿著燈籠,公園與大眾場所也會掛滿著紅色的燈籠。也有大的展示會場展示各式各樣精刁細琢的花燈,小孩子則會提著小燈籠玩耍。也有一種稱為湯圓(裡面包著各種餡料,像是紅豆、芝麻、花生或是鮮肉),人們會在燈光與花燈籠罩的氣氛下享用湯圓。

新年快樂。

10 February 2010

Why Jesus Was Not the Messiah

I think that if a group of people decide to write down their own code of conduct and then another group comes along a thousand years later and rewrites it to fit their own agenda they don’t get to tell the first group what the original books said. You are more than welcome to worship Jesus or any other Jew as much as you want but when you tell us that he is our Messiah and we’ve our books and your books telling us otherwise, you can expect us to change our beliefs as much as you change yours whenever Muslims tell you the new versions of your books.

And if you could stop killing people in the name of Jesus that would be great. I’ve listed what Jesus was not. I think he also was not the kind of person who wanted his followers to kill everybody. His message was about love as far as I can tell. If you think enough of him to edit our books to make him look better then you should think enough of him to follow his main principle and be nice to each other.

07 February 2010

Se7en

I like to watch porn. Not for the same reasons you do. I’m fascinated by women who make a living by having sex. I know men do it too but it is more socially problematic for women. If a woman told her friends that she is a porn star they would probably be horrified. If a man told his friends that he is a porn star they would probably grunt and pound their chests together.

Men are gods for getting so much tail. More so if they are paid for it. Women are just whores. I’m interested in women holding positions of power. Few things are more powerful than sex.

04 February 2010

Fabricated Controversies

So when you say your colleagues are fucking retarded because they do not vote your way then you are actually insulting children with developmental issues. And of course their parents. We can’t forget them. They are the real heroes.  

Did Sarah Palin just call the Democrats retarded? That is very clever if that was her intent.

01 February 2010

Reunited (And It Feels So Good)

Not quite that long ago.


 

Before weblogs and typing messages on Star Trek communicator pads I was a total chat room whore. At university I kept uncivilised hours and associated with ne’er-do-wells so chat rooms were perfect for me. I spent too much time in questionable rooms with people I hardly knew. Online as well. I had no company loyalty and jumped around from one server to the next. I guess Yahoo did not have chat rooms. But the largest company and the one with the most rooms by far was AOL. Anybody older than my nephew should remember a time when AOL dominated the internet. That guy saying you’ve got mail became so iconic that Nora Ephron made a movie about it.