Long Time Gone

I am flying the Sikorsky S-70, what the Americans call black hawk and we call yanshuf, best known for going down in a Ridley Scott movie. Fortunately I am a better pilot than Ewan McGregor. I went from the Education and Youth Corps under a ta’al to the Helicopter Air Group under an aluf. That the current branch is led by a higher rank should tell you something about what the people in charge think of my former department.


© Columbia Pictures

Lost in Translation

But sometimes being older and more experienced helps. I was on a test run in the AS565 with an older and very experienced flight instructor who was watching every move I made. It probably did not help that he was one of those old cranks who thinks that women should not fly. But I’m used to that type. What did help is that I think safety is more important than anything else. I did a full IFR flight plan just as I always do. I went over the WX, I did the full checklist, I did the walkaround, I made sure the fuel cap was secure. This is more important than some people realise. I checked the tie downs and tail. Just as I always do. Too many pilots are too complacent. Especially when they have more experience. Experience has told me to always check the TITS. Which is a safety acronym and has nothing to do with couture.

How to be Celibate

The psychological part is easy for me. I have been in an actual impact descent. It is nothing like the simulator. In the simulator you know that you are going to crash. You wake up in the morning knowing that you are going to crash several times that day. You also know that you will very likely survive. There are professional divers in the pool with plenty of oxygen for everybody. There are trained emergency medical personnel nearby just in case something goes awry. You know exactly where you are at all times and will never have to deal with environmental situations other than the water in the pool. Once you get out of the water you are done. There is no floating around in the ocean for days waiting for somebody to find you. None of this is available in a real crash.



Some of my favourite actors

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

The other day I crashed 6 helicopters into a corvette, killing a total of 21 passengers, 8 flight crew, 2 ground crew and sometimes myself. Not to mention destroying $20 million in equipment. Fortunately, this was all done in a simulator.


 
This is how it looks live. As you can see there is very little margin for error.

I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major

Though I will probably never be on the cover of Teen People Magazine it was a valuable learning experience. I got the chance to play multiple roles in the filmmaking process. I was technically the director. Not that I can use any of it to join the DGA. I was almost always the editor. My university education in editing is what got me the job in the first place. I was usually the DP and camera operator. Sometimes I would have somebody else do the actual shooting. Sometimes I was the sound mixer, which is very different live than it is in the bay. Sometimes I was even the gaffer. Just about the only jobs I never had to do were wardrobe since almost everybody on camera just wore their uniforms, and makeup since we had a few great makeup artists.

Se7en

I like to watch porn. Not for the same reasons you do. I’m fascinated by women who make a living by having sex. I know men do it too but it is more socially problematic for women. If a woman told her friends that she is a porn star they would probably be horrified. If a man told his friends that he is a porn star they would probably grunt and pound their chests together.

Men are gods for getting so much tail. More so if they are paid for it. Women are just whores. I’m interested in women holding positions of power. Few things are more powerful than sex.

Interview With the Vampire

I would have to move to Jerusalem. There are advantages to living there, mostly family. But I like Tel Aviv for a variety of reasons. This is usually described as the most liberal city in the country. It has a more international influence and foreign products are available everywhere. There is a nice combination of old world and modern architecture. We have arguably the best bakery in the country. If not the best then easily the most famous. It is on the water. I’ve spent most of my life on an ocean, sea, or at least near a large river. And the men here are less traditional. Around here that means fewer men who think of women the way they did 1000 years ago. I am all for halakha in moderation but I’m not secluding myself to some hut once a month just because Moses could not handle Zipporah’s PMS.

Antimatter of Fact

My chief complaint is how Ewan McGregor flies the helicopter. It is not his fault since he is just an actor doing as told but ironic considering McGregor’s role in JetSet and his brother being an RAF pilot. In the movie he applies forward cyclic on a prolonged vertical ascent. Then he jumps out of the aircraft and it continues to climb. Each are completely ridiculous. Forward cyclic provides forward pitch. The aircraft would move forward. Releasing all of the flight controls simultaneously would cause the aircraft to spiral out of control. Helicopters do not simply glide forward like fixed wing aircraft. You really don’t want to jump out of a large machine with quickly rotating blades when it is out of control.

Aside from that how does a priest have enough money to hire an international assassin? And why would an experienced international assassin be stupid enough to try and drive that car away? I know more about car bombs than this guy.

2008: It’s the End of the World As We Know It and I Feel Fine

My nephew Yoel had his bar mitzvah simcha. Mazel tov. I went to China for a little over a month. I visited friends in 安徽 , 江蘇 , 雲林 , and one of my favourite cities in the world 上海 . Paul McCartney came to Israel for the first and last time and I saw him in concert. Rock on. I dumped 2 boyfriends, 1 because of a stupid argument that highlighted a major flaw in our relationship and 1 because we simply weren’t compatible. I lost another boyfriend after he proposed marriage. I didn’t want to marry him and there wasn’t any going back at that point. More fish in the pond for me. I passed 1000 hours PIC in the 206. That brings me closer to my highest average in the 212. I like them both but the 206 is my favourite.

...Or to Take Arms Against a Sea of Troubles

AH-1 Tzefa
© Bell Helicopter

Home for at least 1 more year

By Popular Demand: The Accident Story

As it turned out I landed against the wind. Combined with the rotation that tilted the aircraft left and it hit on side. Had I landed on the right side I wouldn’t have made it. I didn’t “crash”. The NTSB called it an “uncontrolled descent and impact with terrain”. They really hate the word crash. That impact left me with 16 broken bones, a bruised lung, torn ligaments and a body full of sore muscles. The lid’s the only thing that kept my head in one piece and even though the harness ultimately failed it kept my spine intact. Too many pilots dismiss safety gear as uncomfortable and unnecessary. I credit it with saving my life.