Bogie At 2 O'Clock

“American Secretary of State John Kerry, who came here very determined and operates based upon an unfathomable obsession and messianic fervor, cannot teach me anything about the Palestinians. I live and breathe the conflict with the Palestinians. I know what they think, what they want and what they really mean. The American security plan that was presented to us is not worth the paper it was written on. It contains no peace and no security. The only thing that might save us is if John Kerry wins the Nobel prize and leaves us be.”

Defence Minister Moshe Ya’alon scratched some thin skin this week. As he has been doing for a long time. When will these sneaky Jews learn not to speak ill of their American saviours?

The funny part is how the American leaders are so terribly hurt and offended. Is this really the worst thing anybody has ever said about them? These people would not last a day in our shoes. This reminds me of the first time somebody called Obama a liar during some congressional speech. Obama’s people were twisting their panties over that one. I bet they look back on those days with longing.

John Kerry, for his part, has only given diplomatic responses as far as I know. It is others who are trying to fuel this, not him. Like him or not, Ya’alon is a military expert in this field and he will tell you what he thinks of your agenda. Obama’s team has no choice but to attack him.

Now many Americans, largely ignorant of their own foreign policies, will once again say that the United States should stop giving money to Israel. I think they would be very surprised if they knew how all that military aid actually worked.

Some Israelis will say that while Ya’alon makes an obvious point, we should be nicer to our closest ally. Especially when that ally is so sensitive.

Many Palestinians will say this is proof that Jews are evil and should all be exterminated. There is nothing new there.

But what people should think about after this is all old news next week is that there will never be peace here as long as the United States tries to dictate that peace. There is nothing wrong with bringing in mediators to negotiate between Israel and terrorist leaders but those mediators should be somebody whom both sides trust, for lack of a better word, to some degree. Nobody trusts the United States. They are in it for their own corporate interests. And for the Nobel prize to a certain extent. They do not give a rat’s tuchas about Israel’s desire to not be murdered or about Palestinian terrorists’ desire to murder Jews. Neither Jews nor Arabs are at the top of America’s list of favourites. We are barely a notch above Africans as far as they are concerned.

I always wanted Thabo Mbeki to come here and do his thing. He was a skilled mediator. But then that corrupt asshole Zuma did his thing. Maybe it is unfair to blame Jacob Zuma for the troubles in Judea. But he is a corrupt asshole. Nobody can deny that with a straight face.

Moshe Ya’alon has never been my favourite person in the world. He was Chief of Staff when I was at Bahad 1. He said some things about female officers that can safely be described as ridiculously stupid. But his frustration at American presidents and secretaries of state who come here with academic theories about life in the Levant and tell us how we should exist is understandable. Sooner or later the United States is going to have to realise that trying to force everybody to do it your way has failed miserably. Every continent in the world can attest to that.