Bell of the Ball

While the aliens round up humans to be their slaves they have Stanley invent a device that allows them to communicate in English, even though more people on the planet speak Chinese. They make the humans destroy everything that makes a loud metallic noise since that is the only sound that can harm the aliens. When all the toys, whistles and phones have been destroyed the aliens take off their protective helmets and settle in for a long conquest.

You Can Never Be Too Rich

Isabelle Caro
Photographed by Oliviero Toscani

Aside from the damage to the fashion industry, for whom I frankly don’t have all that much sympathy, I think this law is a bad idea because Israel is a democracy. We have all that free market capitalism going on here. The market is supposed to determine trends, not the state. If people do not like looking at paper thin models they can stop buying the products that advertise with them. When people stop buying, the advertisers will start advertising differently. The top fashion designers prefer to use stick figures, I assume because they are easier to tailor, but if the consumers want to see Kathy Bates instead of Kate Moss then that is who they will use.

I’ve nothing against Kate Moss but she is the only very thin model I could think of by name.


This woman is considered a “plus size” model

Bomb, Bomb Iran

Terrorist organisations are not concerned with how they will be viewed by history. They do not care if they are seen as the good guys or bad guys. They do not worry about sanctions. They do not bow to international pressure. And they are more than willing to kill themselves to achieve their goals. Most countries with nuclear weapons will never use them against anybody. Even Iran and North Korea are debatable. But I have absolutely no doubt that the terrorists friendly to Iran would use any weapons they had in a heartbeat. This should scare people awake far more than anything Ahmadinejad, Netanyahu or anybody running for America’s presidency could ever say.

Iran may or may not ever attack us. But their friends absolutely will.

Heavy Petting

But there are other issues to consider. Adopting a cat or dog is a serious commitment. It is not like you can flush them down the toilet when they die in a week. As Jenda said to Bart, marriage is a three year commitment. But pets last even longer. If David and I should part ways and I kick him out of my apartment with the clothes on his back and the shame of whatever he did to get kicked out, I would no longer have enough people around often enough to care for a pet. Living with somebody is one thing. Getting a pet together is serious business.



Are these dogs or toys?



Russian blue


Thai Korat


Cyprus shorthair


The most evolved breed

Mia’s Guide to Teenage Sex

They are told that they are not emotionally ready to have sex at 16. That is probably true. But I’ve known 40-year-olds who were not emotionally ready to have sex. So what is the best age to start having sex? That is entirely up to you. No arbitrary number can be chosen by governments, religions, schools, parents, friends, or even me. I am not going to say that age is just a number. The people who say that usually seem to prefer lower numbers. I cannot tell anybody when they should start having sex. I don’t think anybody can tell anybody when they can start having sex. That is up to the individual.

Woke Up, Fell Out of Bed, [Classified]

We were talking about my job. Somebody mentioned that it is interesting enough to provide plenty of blog content. That may be true but I am not looking for content. I’ve plenty to say. I simply don’t have enough time to log on and type what I want to say every day. Maybe if I had a less interesting job then I would have more time.

State of Your Union

Last month, I went to Andrews Air Force Base and welcomed home some of our last troops to serve in Iraq. Together, we offered a final, proud salute to the colors under which more than a million of our fellow citizens fought - and several thousand gave their lives.

We gather tonight knowing that this generation of heroes has made the United States safer and more respected around the world. For the first time in nine years, there are no Americans fighting in Iraq. For the first time in two decades, Osama bin Laden is not a threat to this country. Most of al Qaeda's top lieutenants have been defeated. The Taliban's momentum has been broken, and some troops in Afghanistan have begun to come home.

Killing terrorist leaders does little to stop terrorists from hating you. Lieutenants are easily replaced. Momentum may be all it takes to win an American election but it has little to do with fighting a holy war. Nine years is endless to Americans. Thousands of casualties are unacceptable. But your enemies are prepared to fight and martyr themselves generation after generation. This war will not end in your lifetime.


Imagine what we could accomplish if we followed their example. Think about the America within our reach: A country that leads the world in educating its people. An America that attracts a new generation of high-tech manufacturing and high-paying jobs. A future where we're in control of our own energy, and our security and prosperity aren't so tied to unstable parts of the world. An economy built to last, where hard work pays off, and responsibility is rewarded.

A country that truly cares about children does not have one of the worst educational systems in the developed world. You have some pretty good universities but you also have high schools that graduate children who cannot read. There is no guarantee of health cover for children. In fact, many Americans are fighting very hard to make sure that children are not covered. And some of the food you serve your children should be considered child endangerment.


They understood they were part of something larger; that they were contributing to a story of success that every American had a chance to share - the basic American promise that if you worked hard, you could do well enough to raise a family, own a home, send your kids to college, and put a little away for retirement.

The defining issue of our time is how to keep that promise alive. No challenge is more urgent. No debate is more important. We can either settle for a country where a shrinking number of people do really well, while a growing number of Americans barely get by. Or we can restore an economy where everyone gets a fair shot, everyone does their fair share, and everyone plays by the same set of rules. What's at stake are not Democratic values or Republican values, but American values. We have to reclaim them.

I don’t think this exists in America anymore. Nobody works at one place their entire adult life. Pensions are no longer enough to keep you and your wife healthy and happy for the rest of your days. A single income today cannot sustain a family. Hard work is not enough for a house, two cars in the garage, higher education for the children.


We should start with our tax code. Right now, companies get tax breaks for moving jobs and profits overseas. Meanwhile, companies that choose to stay in America get hit with one of the highest tax rates in the world. It makes no sense, and everyone knows it.

So let's change it. First, if you're a business that wants to outsource jobs, you shouldn't get a tax deduction for doing it. That money should be used to cover moving expenses for companies like Master Lock that decide to bring jobs home.
Second, no American company should be able to avoid paying its fair share of taxes by moving jobs and profits overseas. From now on, every multinational company should have to pay a basic minimum tax. And every penny should go towards lowering taxes for companies that choose to stay here and hire here.

The cost of living in America is much higher than places like China and India. You can easily hire seven Chinese to do the same job as one American. Anybody who went to any business school will tell you that seven workers are more productive than one. Chinese workers do not demand overtime pay, sick days, paid vacations. Chinese workers do not have unions.


We're also making it easier for American businesses to sell products all over the world. Two years ago, I set a goal of doubling U.S. exports over five years. With the bipartisan trade agreements I signed into law, we are on track to meet that goal - ahead of schedule. Soon, there will be millions of new customers for American goods in Panama, Colombia, and South Korea. Soon, there will be new cars on the streets of Seoul imported from Detroit, and Toledo, and Chicago.

I will go anywhere in the world to open new markets for American products. And I will not stand by when our competitors don't play by the rules. We've brought trade cases against China at nearly twice the rate as the last administration - and it's made a difference. Over a thousand Americans are working today because we stopped a surge in Chinese tires. But we need to do more. It's not right when another country lets our movies, music, and software be pirated. It's not fair when foreign manufacturers have a leg up on ours only because they're heavily subsidized.

Tonight, I'm announcing the creation of a Trade Enforcement Unit that will be charged with investigating unfair trade practices in countries like China. There will be more inspections to prevent counterfeit or unsafe goods from crossing our borders. And this Congress should make sure that no foreign company has an advantage over American manufacturing when it comes to accessing finance or new markets like Russia. Our workers are the most productive on Earth, and if the playing field is level, I promise you - America will always win.

The part about going anywhere in the world is funny. American corporations will boycott entire countries if they are less profitable than their neighbours. There are more American products in China than Taiwan because China will not let you sell to both and they have far more customers. American corporations that sell in Israel are banned from most Arab countries. 300 million Arab customers are more profitable than 8 million Israeli customers. Especially when American corporations rarely do well in Israel.


I also hear from many business leaders who want to hire in the United States but can't find workers with the right skills. Growing industries in science and technology have twice as many openings as we have workers who can do the job. Think about that - openings at a time when millions of Americans are looking for work.

That goes back to poor education. When the next generation can only write in Internet English, you are screwed.


At a time when other countries are doubling down on education, tight budgets have forced States to lay off thousands of teachers. We know a good teacher can increase the lifetime income of a classroom by over $250,000. A great teacher can offer an escape from poverty to the child who dreams beyond his circumstance. Every person in this chamber can point to a teacher who changed the trajectory of their lives. Most teachers work tirelessly, with modest pay, sometimes digging into their own pocket for school supplies - just to make a difference.

Most of the developed world invests in education. We all realise that today’s children are tomorrow’s adults. The US either does not understand this basic truth or does not care. Whenever a budget must be cut it is education that they cut first. People who care about their children would not do that.


Of course, it's not enough for us to increase student aid. We can't just keep subsidizing skyrocketing tuition; we'll run out of money. States also need to do their part, by making higher education a higher priority in their budgets. And colleges and universities have to do their part by working to keep costs down. Recently, I spoke with a group of college presidents who've done just that. Some schools re-design courses to help students finish more quickly. Some use better technology. The point is, it's possible. So let me put colleges and universities on notice: If you can't stop tuition from going up, the funding you get from taxpayers will go down. Higher education can't be a luxury - it's an economic imperative that every family in America should be able to afford.

Universities are expensive all over the world. At least the good universities are. This is not a uniquely American problem. But there is one American university that is offering free scholarships to any students who want to attend, provided they meet the entrance requirements. If you are a high school student looking for a free education, look up Antioch College in Ohio.


Let's also remember that hundreds of thousands of talented, hardworking students in this country face another challenge: The fact that they aren't yet American citizens. Many were brought here as small children, are American through and through, yet they live every day with the threat of deportation. Others came more recently, to study business and science and engineering, but as soon as they get their degree, we send them home to invent new products and create new jobs somewhere else.
That doesn't make sense.

American immigration policy has always seemed queer to me. The country was stolen and built by immigrants. Almost all Americans are descendants of immigrants. Yet most Americans have a deep xenophobia of immigrants. They also seem to think that their country is overrun with immigrants when only about 10% of their population was born elsewhere. That is nothing compared to Israel and most Arab states. Even countries that nobody wants to fight over like Switzerland, Canada, Australia have a larger percentage of immigrants.


Innovation also demands basic research. Today, the discoveries taking place in our federally-financed labs and universities could lead to new treatments that kill cancer cells but leave healthy ones untouched. New lightweight vests for cops and soldiers that can stop any bullet. Don't gut these investments in our budget. Don't let other countries win the race for the future. Support the same kind of research and innovation that led to the computer chip and the Internet; to new American jobs and new American industries.

There was a time when the rest of the world looked to the US and France to find the cures to diseases. Now far more medical breakthroughs come from Germany and Israel. Even China and India devote more time and energy to medical research.

Americans seem to have an idea that advancing anything in the medical field is bad. Medical cover would make you a Soviet style communist dictatorship and medical research is a direct insult to God. There is something fundamentally wrong with this.


But with only 2 percent of the world's oil reserves, oil isn't enough. This country needs an all-out, all-of-the-above strategy that develops every available source of American energy - a strategy that's cleaner, cheaper, and full of new jobs.

It would not take much for the US to go into rehab and recover from its oil dependency. But when you are a recovering addict you have to stay away from the dealers and not be tempted by their sweet shiny oil.


During the Great Depression, America built the Hoover Dam and the Golden Gate Bridge. After World War II, we connected our States with a system of highways. Democratic and Republican administrations invested in great projects that benefited everybody, from the workers who built them to the businesses that still use them today.

You also had a strong leader who could get things done and a popular war that most Americans supported. Even when the power shifted from the Roosevelt-Truman Democrats to the Eisenhower Republicans there was broad public support. None of that is true today.


We don't begrudge financial success in this country. We admire it. When Americans talk about folks like me paying my fair share of taxes, it's not because they envy the rich. It's because they understand that when I get tax breaks I don't need and the country can't afford, it either adds to the deficit, or somebody else has to make up the difference - like a senior on a fixed income; or a student trying to get through school; or a family trying to make ends meet. That's not right. Americans know it's not right. They know that this generation's success is only possible because past generations felt a responsibility to each other, and to their country's future, and they know our way of life will only endure if we feel that same sense of shared responsibility. That's how we'll reduce our deficit. That's an America built to last.

Americans love to complain about taxes. Yet you have some of the lowest tax rates in the world. Your state sales taxes are much lower than most of our VATs. Your income tax rates are nothing compared to some European countries.


Anyone who tells you otherwise, anyone who tells you that America is in decline or that our influence has waned, doesn't know what they're talking about. That's not the message we get from leaders around the world, all of whom are eager to work with us. That's not how people feel from Tokyo to Berlin; from Cape Town to Rio; where opinions of America are higher than they've been in years. Yes, the world is changing; no, we can't control every event. But America remains the one indispensable nation in world affairs - and as long as I'm President, I intend to keep it that way.

If you want to be an American president you cannot say that China will be number one pretty soon. But from what I have seen people around the world are not too impressed with the US lately. The people of Cape Town don’t worship you. Not even close. Japan is still grateful for all that post war aid, but they have moved on with their lives. Even the Philippines, which used to love everything American, has moved on to an unhealthy obsession with Korean pop culture.


One of my proudest possessions is the flag that the SEAL Team took with them on the mission to get bin Laden. On it are each of their names. Some may be Democrats. Some may be Republicans. But that doesn't matter. Just like it didn't matter that day in the Situation Room, when I sat next to Bob Gates - a man who was George Bush's defense secretary; and Hillary Clinton, a woman who ran against me for president.

That dig against Clinton just makes Obama look like a dick.


So it is with America. Each time I look at that flag, I'm reminded that our destiny is stitched together like those fifty stars and those thirteen stripes. No one built this country on their own. This Nation is great because we built it together. This Nation is great because we worked as a team. This Nation is great because we get each other's backs. And if we hold fast to that truth, in this moment of trial, there is no challenge too great; no mission too hard. As long as we're joined in common purpose, as long as we maintain our common resolve, our journey moves forward, our future is hopeful, and the state of our Union will always be strong.

This obligatory patriotic ending only points out some of the reasons you are having so many problems right now. You are not working as a team. You do not have each other’s backs. Unless knives are involved. You do not rise up to challenges the way you used to. Nobody is willing to sacrifice anything for the greater good. You do not have a common purpose. You have multiple agendas that don’t work well together.

Burn Into Your Memory Cells

Fair point. I don’t know if he will still be around. And I can see one of my sisters showing me the picture ten years from now and wondering what ever happened to that guy.

“He is now a billionaire from inventing the next big thing,” I say.

“Too bad you dumped him the day before he invented it,” she reminds me.

“Had I not dumped him he would never have invented it,” I remind her.

This is where she quickly learns not to even try getting the better of me in my own imaginary future conversation. And I’m in great shape and look pretty while she is old and has gained weight. And I have more magical powers.

Post Title

This lack of marriage bothers my mother. As it always has. She likes to say “nokh vos darf men di ku koyfn az di milkh krigt men bekhinem”. To which I reply “besser ain ku in shtal aider tsen in feld”. Which roughly translates as “get married now” and “keep your knickers on, old lady”. She does not want us to live together. She just wants us to marry. She likes to point out that my older sisters never lived with their husbands before marriage. But then I point out that my younger sister lived with her wife long before they married. I wonder if I will have such narrow focus when I am a mother. My mother says I will. I don’t have any way to contradict that yet.

More Gomorrah Than Sodom

Once at the lake everybody was greeted and divided into groups. Spencer Tunick was on a ladder with a megaphone. I did not find that the most efficient way to direct the scene. Everything he said was in English and he had no interpreter. I don’t have a problem with English but if you are going to a non-English speaking country then you might want to bring along somebody who knows the language. We were told basically what would happen and advised not to drink the water. This particular lake is famous because it has one of the highest concentrations of salt in the world. Its name is literally Salt Sea. In English it is called the Dead Sea because no fish can live in that much salt. If you have to be told not to drink the water then you are probably not the sharpest spike on the rail.


I am 342nd from the left.
Not copyright Spencer Tunick

The Greens of Summers

© Davida Karol

Davida Karol died Friday. You may not have heard of her but I think she was one of the classiest old broads you could ever meet. She was mostly known as an artist, actor, photographer, writer. She never really gained much fame in any one medium but excelled at whatever she did. She painted landscapes, photographed politicians and normal people, translated Russian and Polish literature into Hebrew, played old ladies and grandmothers on TV. She is best known to art gallery owners as a stubborn old lady who would nag you until you showed her work. People who watch Israeli TV might not know her name but would recognise her as that old lady.

This Post is Illegal

2.16. Freedom of Expression

1. Everyone has the right to freedom of expression, which includes
a. freedom of the press and other media;
b. freedom to receive or impart information or ideas;
c. freedom of artistic creativity; and
d. academic freedom and freedom of scientific research.

2.32. Access to Information

1. Everyone has the right of access to
a. any information held by the state; and
b. any information that is held by another person and that is required for the exercise or protection of any rights.

According to the 1996 Constitution of the Republic of South Africa.

The ANC government under Jacob Zuma has decided that enough is enough. Zuma has been investigated for corruption, bribery, extortion, rape so often in the last 10 years that something must be done if he is to remain in office. He has sued more than a few news agencies for over R60 million but they keep printing stories about him anyway. He has appointed several government lawyers to investigate the media. When that failed to stop them he hired private “security” firms to dig up as much dirt on newspaper editors and TV producers as possible. That also failed to stop the media from reporting about a powerful political leader who seems to think that what he does with state money is nobody’s business.

2.36. Limitation of Rights

1. The rights in the Bill of Rights may be limited only in terms of law of general application to the extent that the limitation is reasonable and justifiable in an open and democratic society based on human dignity, equality and freedom, taking into account all relevant factors, including
a. the nature of the right;
b. the importance of the purpose of the limitation;
c. the nature and extent of the limitation;
d. the relation between the limitation and its purpose; and
e. less restrictive means to achieve the purpose.

2. Except as provided in subsection (1) or in any other provision of the Constitution, no law may limit any right entrenched in the Bill of Rights.

Nice Day for a White Wedding

Ria wore a latte off the shoulder, cap sleeve A-line Italian silk organza gown with tulle netting and antique embroidery. Hava wore an ivory ruched taffeta V-neck halter with beaded straps and lace up back, side bustle, flowered and bubble hem. I only know what half of that means and I was there. But they both looked incredible. Picture two families of beauty, grace and dignity joining together. I was there too.


This picture was taken a few years ago
but it is pretty much the view from the wedding.
More or less.

What is a Hero?

Obviously I do not think Abbas is a hero. His doctoral thesis alone qualifies him as an asshole. But even worse are the murderers, kidnappers, rapists, arsonists, thieves who are being hailed as heroes by people who would not ordinarily praise murderers, kidnappers, rapists, arsonists, thieves. If they murder a Palestinian child to buy drugs then they are bad. But if they murder a Palestinian child in an effort to kill Israel then they are heroes. This kind of thinking is inhuman, antiMuslim and should be antiPalestinian.

Disproportionate Response

These are not political prisoners. These are not conscientious objectors or people who failed to pay parking fines. These are cold blooded murderers responsible for the violent deaths of 600 innocent men, women, children, including more than a few innocent Palestinian civilians. Palestinian terrorists generally kill more Palestinians than they kill Israelis. And soon they will be free to kill again.

Gilad Shalit was 19 years old when he was kidnapped. He is 26 now. When he finally goes home he will probably go to school or get a job and live out his life as he would have had he never been kidnapped. Most of the 1027 will not live the rest of their lives peacefully. They will be welcomed back by rejoicing Palestinians before they return to killing Palestinians in their quest to kill Israel.

All is Forgiven

The Yamim Noraim have once again come and gone. And nobody got hurt. My sins of the past year have mostly been pretty minor. I did not kill anybody. I did not covet my neighbour’s house or wife. I’ve not worshipped any false idols or made graven images. I did not commit adultery. At least not by my definition. At most it was more avone than pesha. It is all a bit of a grey area.

Mia’s Peace Plan II

But sometimes people can get together and talk about things without resorting to hostility. I am a member of such a message board. Nobody attacks anybody for having a different opinion and everybody seems genuinely interested in what others have to say. Is this not the point of a message board? Why participate if you are not interested in any voices besides your own? Places where everybody tries to yell the loudest make no sense to me. If you are yelling the loudest that only means that you cannot hear anything.

Obligatory 9/11 Post

In this case I think Americans can be forgiven for any dramatic hyperbole about this day and any ignorance of equal or greater tragedy in the rest of the world. When your house is on fire you are not worried about somebody else’s house on fire.

It is a date which will live in infamy probably more so than the attack on Pearl Harbor. That was a military attack on a military base. And the Americans were able to exact a horrific revenge. They will never be able to collectively punish the entire race or nationality of their enemy this time. It is easy to fight a war with another country. It is almost impossible to fight a war with a disparate group of anonymous people whose only common denominator is a lust for your destruction.

Fair and Balanced

I have been conducting my own informal and highly unscientific research since Friday. From what I have noticed CNN has reported on the American hurricane at least once an hour every day, sometimes in depth. They even interviewed local shop owners and some child with a dog. I only saw a brief mention of the super typhoon in the Philippines during the weather report. There were no interviews and no dogs.

How To Have a Riot

The two billion of us who grew up in current or former Commonwealth countries are told to see England as a bastion of all we are supposed to hope to be. Even Americans, who got out long before anybody thought to include Imperial subjects in the same sentence as British subjects, have an umbilical fascination with England. Even more so in some respects. I have never met an African, Indian, Australian who follows the goings on of the British royal family with as much vicarious interest as do some Americans. Africans have Mandela. Indians have Gandhi. Australians have the Bee Gees. I guess Americans need something to fill the void that TV simply cannot offer.