My First Shidduch Date

I was told before the date that Aram is 38 years old, an urban planner, never married, no children of course. That is how I was told. “No children, of course.” I resisted the urge to point out that you can have children without ever being married. I had a vague idea of what an urban planner does but I’m no expert on the subject. At least we would have something to talk about for a few minutes. I’ve never met a man who does not want to educate people about what his job is really like as opposed to what people think it is like.

I was very specifically not told what Aram looks like. This is usually an enormous warning sign. But the shadchan explained that God wants us to merely look upon outward appearance as decoration. That is an even bigger warning. This guy must be ass to mouth ugly. But then I realised that the shadchan probably was not telling Aram what I looked like either. He was probably only told my age, job, never married, no children of course.

And Now a Brief Interruption in the Woe is Mia Show for a Clarification

I seem to have caused some confusion with the picture caption “Swimming naked as the day is short” accompanied by a picture where I am clearly not swimming and appear to have some kind of blue thing covering my naked. This is true. I was not swimming at the exact moment that particular picture was taken. However, the obviously wet hair and all that blue watery stuff in the background should be enough to lead the viewer to assume that swimming had recently taken place. The blue thing in the bottom corner is a towel. It is indeed covering my naked. It is also drying all the watery stuff on the naked. The uncropped version looks something like this:



All three of the posted pictures are cropped because I am thinking about changing my profile picture. What I have now has been up for a while and the picture itself is several years older. I highly doubt that I shall find a husband from blogging but I might as well put up a better face shot as long as I am at the market.

I’ve no idea who did the poster behind me in the first picture. It is not mine and I cannot remember seeing anything on the print. I would guess Edward Hopper. I’m probably not naked in that picture either.

A Girl Can Get Burnt Playing with Matches

My favourite aspect of the shidduch is that I can completely avoid all the messy parts of dating. I am not very good at rejecting people. I’ve never perfected a good “that was fun but I would rather never see your face again” speech. The shidduch takes care of all that. After the first date you are supposed to tell the shadchan whether you want a second date or not. He then tells the other person. All of that when will he call me, why didn’t he call me bullshit is gone. The shadchan lets everybody know where they stand and nobody has to deal with any confrontations. I used to call it dating for cowards. The shadchan remains the intermediary until both people mutually decide that he is no longer needed. Usually a proposal soon follows since the goal of Jewish dating is marriage. Supposedly.

The Bravery of Being Out of Range

I did not want to get married for a long time. I wanted to be married but always in some distant future. I’ve thrown away several possibly rewarding relationships because they were too serious for what I wanted at the time. I wanted to experience as much of life as I could before I settled down to washing dishes and changing nappies. It took me a long time to fully realise that having a husband and children are a major life experience. And there is no law that says I can’t travel to exotic places with children or have wild uninhibited sex with a husband. It just takes more effort.


With immodest shoulders.


Swimming naked as the day is short.


I would marry me.

Long Time Gone

I am flying the Sikorsky S-70, what the Americans call black hawk and we call yanshuf, best known for going down in a Ridley Scott movie. Fortunately I am a better pilot than Ewan McGregor. I went from the Education and Youth Corps under a ta’al to the Helicopter Air Group under an aluf. That the current branch is led by a higher rank should tell you something about what the people in charge think of my former department.


© Columbia Pictures

New Year’s Resolution

But this year I’m making a resolution. I will meet my future husband. Not necessarily get married. I know that it takes time to develop real relationships. It is unlikely that I will meet somebody tomorrow and be ready to marry by the end of the year. Especially with my schedule. And I’ve reason to believe that my sister might get married this year. I don’t want to take anything away from her. I have no tangible evidence to back up my claim. It is more a suspicion than anything else. But I am willing to put money on it. Any takers?

新年快樂

Before the festival begins, houses are supposed to be cleaned and doorways are decorated with red phrases and poems. Red is the luckiest color and symbolizes good fortune and happiness. During the festival, red envelopes with money are given to younger family members. It is supposed to be money for suppressing the evil spirits but it usually ends up spent at 7-11. The amount of money given in the red envelopes should be lucky. Odd numbers are bad. Even numbers are good. Except four. Four is very unlucky because 四 [four] sounds like 死 [death]. Children will literally beg for these red envelopes and it is unlucky for the parents, aunts, uncles to say no.

Walk Like an Egyptian

There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it; always.

Mahatma Gandhi