16 February 2011

The Bravery of Being Out of Range

I did not want to get married for a long time. I wanted to be married but always in some distant future. I’ve thrown away several possibly rewarding relationships because they were too serious for what I wanted at the time. I wanted to experience as much of life as I could before I settled down to washing dishes and changing nappies. It took me a long time to fully realise that having a husband and children are a major life experience. And there is no law that says I can’t travel to exotic places with children or have wild uninhibited sex with a husband. It just takes more effort.


With immodest shoulders.


Swimming naked as the day is short.


I would marry me.

6 comments:

Jo said...

I think you're extremely attractive, and you should have no problem at all attracting men. I think men generally are intimidated by strong, successful women. It's unfortunate, but that's the way it is.

I don't know anything about the culture in Israel, but in Canada you would be married by now -- definitely.

Bill said...

Is this a question that's meant to be answered? If so, I think you partially answered it in the last line of the post before last.

I don't pretend to speak for anyone other than myself and I am the LAST person who should offer relationship advice but I think most guys want to be the most important thing in their wife's life - or at least co-equal with children. I wasted a couple of years going out with someone who regarded a prospective husband as a means to an end. It sucked.

Your self-awareness in describing why you're looking is admirable - possibly unique even. Perhaps the question is whether you would marry someone who saw you as secondary.

Travelingrant said...

Hmm, you sound like a good catch to me! I for one know how hard it can be to see what seems like everybody else on the planet paired up already. Though I will admit to myself that while I am probably almost ready to settle down... that isn't quite ready now is it? I always figured that I just needed to find a girl as restless as I... the problem is they are all restless, and you can't pin them down!

Mia said...

Grant, I'd definitely wait in your position. Expats really shouldn't marry while in other countries unless they find the right local. Two expats marrying while living essentially temporary lives are asking for trouble. Every expat couple I've ever known broke up while living abroad.

Bill, that's easy. I expect to be #1 to any husband. At the same time he should realise that he'll be #2 to children. That might sound unfair but it's the natural order of any emergency procedure. When all hell breaks loose the wife protects the children and the husband protects the wife. That's how I'd prioritise it.

Jo, I don't have any problem attracting men. My problem is attracting men that I'd actually want to live the rest of my life with. Many men are very much intimidated by strong women. The men I prefer would be scared shitless if I showed up on a date wearing a flight uniform and carrying a side arm. The men who are turned on by that don't appeal to me at all.

Bill said...

Well, nothing says 'romance' like clearly defined gender roles in an emergency situation.

Mia said...

That's what I always say.