Lost in Translation

But sometimes being older and more experienced helps. I was on a test run in the AS565 with an older and very experienced flight instructor who was watching every move I made. It probably did not help that he was one of those old cranks who thinks that women should not fly. But I’m used to that type. What did help is that I think safety is more important than anything else. I did a full IFR flight plan just as I always do. I went over the WX, I did the full checklist, I did the walkaround, I made sure the fuel cap was secure. This is more important than some people realise. I checked the tie downs and tail. Just as I always do. Too many pilots are too complacent. Especially when they have more experience. Experience has told me to always check the TITS. Which is a safety acronym and has nothing to do with couture.

A Sale of Two Titties

There was never anything wrong with Joëlle’s tits. She is on the other side of 30 so maybe they do not stand at attention the way they used to but they still get the job done. Even so, time is crueler to women than men. Or maybe it is society and not time. We are taught from a young age that our sexuality revolves around our appearance. Sometimes short hair is fashionable, sometimes it is long hair. But you always have to have great tits to be a real woman. Boys seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. And they really don’t want to get to second base and discover it is all tissues.

How to be Celibate

The psychological part is easy for me. I have been in an actual impact descent. It is nothing like the simulator. In the simulator you know that you are going to crash. You wake up in the morning knowing that you are going to crash several times that day. You also know that you will very likely survive. There are professional divers in the pool with plenty of oxygen for everybody. There are trained emergency medical personnel nearby just in case something goes awry. You know exactly where you are at all times and will never have to deal with environmental situations other than the water in the pool. Once you get out of the water you are done. There is no floating around in the ocean for days waiting for somebody to find you. None of this is available in a real crash.



Some of my favourite actors

Ants in My Pants

I never had any kind of curtains on my windows in China. My bedroom and laundry room faced a field. The other side of the house faced another house but my kitchen was at roof level with the house across the street. Without curtains the light from my windows attracted all manner of flying insects at night. The flying insects attracted geckos. I grew up with geckos, especially in Durban, so they do not bother me.

My Favourite Climbing Partner

He found a new life, got himself an education and married the woman of his dreams. He named his first two daughters after his real parents and kept searching for more information about the past while he and his wife built a future. They were the happiest couple I have ever seen. I’m sure they argued from time to time but I do not remember that. What I remember was two people who genuinely loved each other and never held back on displaying affection in public. When I was younger I had friends who were always embarrassed when their parents kissed each other or them. I never was. Probably because it happened all the time. It was completely natural to me.

Ngiyanemukela

I think it was in the United States once, even though Americans do not care much about football. They have a completely different game they call football. It is more like rugby. Americans may not care about football and their team has never won the World Cup but they have to host it because their people are more willing than Asians and Africans to spend money frivolously. And that is really what FIFA cares about. It has nothing to do with where the most fans are or who joined their club first. South Afrika was the first country outside of Europe to join and it only took 100 years to host.

But My TV Said So

If your TV is anything like mine it told you that crime rates in China are rising and it is almost impossible to really know what the figures are. But your TV probably never mentioned that Chinese schools are amongst the safest in the world. School shootings are unheard of. There are no gangs. Not in the schools at least. Chinese gangs are more interesting in controlling gambling than recruiting children. Teen pregnancy is not simply well hidden. It is really not an issue. Most teenagers stay away from sex to avoid family shame. That still means something to the Chinese. It is also very hard to find any privacy when you live with several generations in the same house.

As-Salamu Alaykum

Catholics have a pope. If he tells them all to wear blue shirts you will hear about it. You will probably even see a few people wearing blue shirts. Jews have not had any central leader since the temple was destroyed. There are community leaders all over the place and influential organisations. Israel's Chief Rabbinate is generally regarded as the highest governing body, though many people in other countries disagree. If they tell everybody to wear blue shirts you might hear about it. I'm not sure how many people would actually do it. Muslims have different leaders in different countries. Iran has their ayatollah but he is mostly a political leader. He does not hold much sway outside of Iran. If he told everybody to wear blue shirts you would probably never hear about it and it is even less likely you would see anybody do it.

Thou Shalt Not Proselytise

In my experience the least tolerant are the atheists. They will often accuse anybody with a different point of view of “bible thumping” even when such people never quote their particular bible or push any belief. The atheists always seem much angrier than anybody else. Online at least. People often behave very differently offline. Even the most fire and brimstone Christians cannot match the hateful online rhetoric of some atheists.

I do not need anybody telling me that Jesus died for my sins and I do not believe that he did. But the people who say so usually also tell you to have a nice day and are much friendlier than the atheists who blame anybody with faith for all that is wrong with the world. If religious people are so judgemental and want everybody to believe what they believe and the atheists are supposed to be the opposite then should they not be more open minded toward different beliefs?

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

The other day I crashed 6 helicopters into a corvette, killing a total of 21 passengers, 8 flight crew, 2 ground crew and sometimes myself. Not to mention destroying $20 million in equipment. Fortunately, this was all done in a simulator.


 
This is how it looks live. As you can see there is very little margin for error.

Sometimes You Should Shoot the Messenger

Nixon was more qualified to be president than Kennedy in 1960. He took his work more seriously and earned everything he had, as opposed to Kennedy’s sense of entitlement. Kennedy was barely younger but looked much younger and he was far more comfortable in front of the camera. He probably won because of the televised debates.

Carter was much younger than Ford and had a full head of hair at the time. Ford was winning the election until they went on TV together. When Carter was the incumbent he was winning until he went on TV with Reagan, a former actor. Reagan won in a landslide.

Dukakis lost to the first Bush largely because he seemed distant on TV. He was also a hairy Mediterranean immigrant’s son running against a Connecticut WASP from a political dynasty.

The first Clinton was a generation younger than the first Bush and looked a lot better on TV. He was more charming and more articulate. Women wanted to sleep with him. And many did. Nobody wanted to sleep with Bush. Clinton easily won.

Obama looked young, charming, non-threatening, articulate. McCain looked old, crippled, sometimes mean. Who did you expect to win?


Gordon Brown's official Downing Street portrait

Mavet la Mickey Mouse

Israel produces propaganda also. But it is usually more upbeat. Israeli propaganda is more along the lines of Israel being a beacon of light for Jews looking to escape oppression and bigotry. I have never seen anything with Jews decapitating anybody or calling for death to anybody who draws a cartoon about Moses. I guess that is one of the differences between a stable democracy and a terrorist organisation.

War and Remembrance

Yom HaShoah is the day we commemorate the six million people who were murdered by bigotry. It is a national day of mourning and a religious observance, though the religious aspect is debated. It is one of those days when you will find secular and religious ceremonies at the same time. You can go to any government office, school, library, hospital, military instillation, synagogue, mosque, church and people will be praying and lighting candles. You hear a lot about tensions between Israelis and Arabs in the international media but I have never seen any Arab not observe the two minutes of silence. In my family it is also a day when the TV is absolutely forbidden. This is a custom I’ve grown to appreciate more as I got older. And TV programmes got worse.

I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major

Though I will probably never be on the cover of Teen People Magazine it was a valuable learning experience. I got the chance to play multiple roles in the filmmaking process. I was technically the director. Not that I can use any of it to join the DGA. I was almost always the editor. My university education in editing is what got me the job in the first place. I was usually the DP and camera operator. Sometimes I would have somebody else do the actual shooting. Sometimes I was the sound mixer, which is very different live than it is in the bay. Sometimes I was even the gaffer. Just about the only jobs I never had to do were wardrobe since almost everybody on camera just wore their uniforms, and makeup since we had a few great makeup artists.

Let’s Go For a Drive

 


 




The food pictures that I did not take are free use stock pictures. The still from Georges Méliès’ Trip to the Moon is out of copyright. The helicopter is copyright Universal Studios. I don’t know where the breastfeeding picture came from. It might have come with my OS.

Fight the Real Enemy

 

I’ve no doubt that the highest ranking Catholic leaders are an arrogant bunch. When you are in charge of the most powerful religion in the world and hold sway over a billion people with little accountability in this life you are bound to grow a thick head. But covering up the rape and molestation of who knows how many children for who knows how many centuries is not the same as murdering people who refuse to convert. Killing people is easy to rationalise. Especially people who are different. Humans have a great talent for this. Attacking children, your own children is not something most people can accept. This is the kind of thing that can really turn people off. Without all those people you lose all that power and influence. Not to mention all that money.

Mia’s Peace Plan

Set a deadline for the formal creation of a sovereign Palestine and remove all Israeli military and security forces. At that point Palestine either has to step up to the plate or get off the field. If they refuse to have their own country yet again then make the territory part of Jordan, Syria, Lebanon or some kind of UN no man’s land. Once Palestine’s leaders reject further proposals for a sovereign Palestine then they can no longer claim homeland privileges and must accept the rights and responsibilities of citizenship in whatever country Palestine is placed. If it is divided amongst several countries then its people will be given the opportunity to relocate to another area that is part of whichever country they choose.

Alternately, an election can be held at an announced date and whoever is elected will then become the leaders of what will then be called Palestine. Any country that wishes to recognise it may do so. Israel should be the first. Those Palestinians who do not want to live in a sovereign Palestine will have the option to immigrate to any other country they wish, provided that other country accepts them. Any Arab country other than Jordan probably will not but everybody is welcome to try.

Should the leaders of Palestine finally accept a sovereign country then it is their responsibility to govern and control the people and territory without reliance on Israel for their survival or blaming Isreal for all their problems. Any acts of war committed by the people of Palestine or its leaders against any other sovereign country will be subject to the same consequences every other country in the world faces.

Pesach

Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech haO’lam shehheh chehyanu vehki yehmanu vehheganu lazman hazeh.

En kelohenu. En kadonenu. En kemalkenu. En kemoshi’enu.
Mi kelohenu. Mi kadonenu. Mi kemalkenu. Mi kemoshi’enu.
Nodeh lelohenu. Nodeh ladonenu. Nodeh lemalkenu. Nodeh lemoshi’enu.
Barukh Elohenu. Barukh Adonenu. Barukh Malkenu. Barukh Moshi’enu.
Atah hu Elohenu. Atah hu Adonenu. Atah hu Malkenu. Atah hu Moshi’enu.
Atah hu shehiqtiru abotenu, lefanekha eth qetoreth hasamim.

The Next Best Thing to Be

I am not dying to be married and I’m not completely baby obsessed. Yet. But I think I have reached the age that if I am dating somebody that I know I’m never going to marry then what is the point? Dating for the sake of dating seems completely natural when you are 20 but I think it looses a little something when you start to lose that endless battle between your body and gravity. Or as my mother would say I’m getting too old to act like a teenager.

Die Familie und das Fischernetz

Another simple rule about travelling to Switzerland is that it can be one of the most expensive countries in Europe. We went to Zürich, which is not the greatest place for budget travellers. Had I gone alone I would have paid a small fortune to sleep in a closet. One of the benefits of travelling with a group of people you know very well is that you can afford much nicer accommodations. We rented a house not all that far from Tina Turner’s Küsnacht Ferienhaus at Zürichsee that was very reasonable since there were so many of us.





Zürich


Chinagarten


Zürichsee

Alpen