Your Very First Kiss was Your First Kiss Goodbye

Oscar Pistorius may or may not have murdered his girlfriend. I was not there so I cannot say. What I know is that he fired at a closed door into a room without having any idea who or what was in the room. According to him. That would make him an exceptionally reckless person who should not under any circumstances be allowed to handle any firearms.

Everybody who knows anything about firearms knows that you never fire at something you cannot see. Shooting the bad guy through a door might make for a nice dramatic movie moment but it should never be done in the real world. The very obvious consequence of firing at something you cannot see is that you will likely hit somebody or something that you never intended to hit. Even if you know with absolute certainty that the bad guy is on the other side of the door, you cannot control shots fired into a blind location. If you have no idea what is on the other side of the door, you just might end up killing your girlfriend. Pistorius lived with somebody who could have easily been in that room at that time. Assuming that the noise you hear in a room from which you cannot see must be an intruder is stupid. Firing blindly into that room is criminally reckless.

I have no idea if he murdered his girlfriend or simply killed her accidentally. But I do know that any legal right for him to operate a firearm should be revoked permanently. We all hear bumps in the night. Anybody who shoots first and ask questions later should not be allowed to even hold a gun.

Oscar Pistorius was a star athlete. I say was because no matter what happens in his murder trial, his career is over. The only thing we love more than putting celebrities up on pedestals is shooting them down.

Ngiyanemukela

I think it was in the United States once, even though Americans do not care much about football. They have a completely different game they call football. It is more like rugby. Americans may not care about football and their team has never won the World Cup but they have to host it because their people are more willing than Asians and Africans to spend money frivolously. And that is really what FIFA cares about. It has nothing to do with where the most fans are or who joined their club first. South Afrika was the first country outside of Europe to join and it only took 100 years to host.

Year of the Tiger

But they invaded Iraq at almost exactly the same time the war in Darfur began. Saddam Hussein was uncooperative and was executed for causing the deaths of about 200 people. Also there was something about weapons of far less destructive power than what Iran and North Korea are trying to build. American soldiers are still in Iraq three years after Hussein’s death. Anywhere between 150 000 and 1 million people have been killed since the invasion. The current government says there are about 5 million orphans.

Best in Show

Charlie Chaplin committed the ultimate Hollywood sin. Not his interest in teenage girls. That is fairly common. Not his communist sympathies. They are all commies. Except Chaplin who really was not. He forever ruined his Oscar chances by saying the awards were stupid. Chaplin and The Circus were nominated for best picture, director, actor, writing. After he publicly complained about the awards all the nominations were cancelled. City Lights was nominated for nothing. Cimarron won best picture that year. Remember Cimarron? Directed by Wesley Ruggles? Modern Times was nominated for nothing. The best picture was The Great Ziegfeld directed by Robert Z Leonard. Anybody remember him?

Play Ball

Now we know who will be playing.

South Afrika
Ghana
Côte d'Ivoire
Nigeria
Cameroon
Algeria
Brazil
Paraguay
Chile
Argentina
Uruguay
Australia
Japan
South Korea
North Korea
New Zealand
Mexico
USA
Honduras
Netherlands
Spain
England
Italy
Germany
Denmark
Serbia
Switzerland
Slovakia
Greece
France
Slovenia
Portugal

Blame It On Rio

If you live on this planet you have probably heard that Rio de Janeiro will be hosting the Olympics in 2016. If you live on another planet I hope that I am not your only source of information about us. I cannot handle that responsibility. But maybe reading me would give you better insight into humans than watching TV. Especially Pop Idol. That one would instigate the invasion for sure.

I can’t tell you how cross I would be if I was an intergalactic slave working at the human organ mining colony because of crap TV. But if you are learning about us from the internet then you should probably know that we are not all that angry or watch that much porn.

Dogs: Chewing everything and howling at the moon.
Cats: String and looking at you with contempt.
Humans: Porn and angry rants.

Dragon Boat Day

Nobody really knows how or why 端午節 started but the most popular story is that of 屈原, a royal advisor between 320 to 300 BCE. When 屈原 fell out of favour he went into exile and wrote a lot of poetry. Either disgusted by the state of government corruption or because of changing dynasties 屈原 jumped into the nearest river and drowned. Out of respect for the poet, people raced their boats onto the river and threw food in so the fish wouldn’t eat his body.

Most of that is fantasy and today’s Dragon Boat Festival was called something else a few thousand years ago. But 屈原 really is an important poet of that period and I suppose any excuse to steam up some 糭子 is a good one.

Justice Inaction

On Wednesday the people of South Afrika will once again rubber stamp the ANC into office and elect the racist, sexist, homophobic and corrupt asshole Jacob Zuma president. I don’t like Jacob Zuma.

I don’t like him because he hates white people and that is the kind of thinking this country needs to finally be rid of. I don’t like him because he hates women. I don’t know how he can have so many wives and still think so little of women. I don’t think you can effectively rule a country if you consider half of its people inferior. I don’t like him because he advocates violence against homosexuals, unmarried pregnant women and anybody who does not fit his idea of an acceptable religious adherent. I don’t want him to be president because he is the epitome of corruption within a party that has elevated corruption to high art.

Hello Dalai

I like China. It is a beautiful country with interesting people. The government is not entirely bad once you push past all the paperwork. They export a lot of cheap crap but if they did not you know that India would.

The Dating Game: Horror Stories

When he finished his esophagial emancipation proclamation he stood up, did a few stretches and asked me if I was ready to go on. I was. I was ready to go on home. In trying to impress me or himself or somebody he only disgusted me. Even if he hadn’t gorged himself at lunch I wouldn’t have been impressed by his running abilities. Lots of people can run farther and faster than me. So what? That’s not going to get you into my bed. By eating the way he did he only showed me that he doesn’t think things through. By refusing my suggestions and assistance every step of the way he told me that he wasn’t interested in my input. None of this is really the impression you should want to make on a first date.

And letting your lunch roam free in the great outdoors doesn’t help either.

So a Priest Enters a School...

Priest gets probation for jogging nude at track

20 November 2008

Greeley, Colorado, USA. (AP) — A Catholic priest convicted of indecent exposure for jogging naked around a track at a high school has been sentenced to five years probation.

Rev. Robert Whipkey must also complete 100 hours of community service and register as a sex offender under the sentence handed down Thursday in Weld County District Court.

The Denver archdiocese said Whipkey, of Frederick, was placed on leave last year. He officiated at parishes in Frederick, Mead and Erie. He was arrested about an hour before sunrise on June 22, 2007.

Dressed in a blue shirt and slacks, Whipkey told Judge Timothy Kerns that the conviction has ruined his life and that he is unemployed.