Hello Dalai

I like China. It is a beautiful country with interesting people. The government is not entirely bad once you push past all the paperwork. They export a lot of cheap crap but if they did not you know that India would.

Make Mine a Double, Isaac (or Greece is the Word)

The next day we arrived in Mykonos. This was more like the Greece I wanted to see. There were too many tourists but Ria and I found a way around them. While the oldsters took a bus tour of the shuffleboard museum and a pelican, Ria and I hired scooters and wandered about the island. The pelican part is not a joke. There is actually a famous pelican that people go to see. Ria and I did not see any pelicans but we found a great little beach. I think Mr Ya’acov would have had a heart attack had he gone with us. All those bare young bodies would have put him over the edge. Ria is not as textile liberated as I am but you know what they say. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When on a Greek beach, take off your clothes.

Durban II: The Reckoning

It is ironic that an international conference on racism and xenophobia can’t succeed because the participants are too racist and xenophobic. Instead of coming into it with an open mind to discuss these problems, too many of them have an agenda of hate against some other country or ethnic group. If they are only looking to criticise one group or another while considering themselves sacrosanct then what is the point?

Happiness is a Warm Gun

So if there is no correlation between gun ownership and gun crime then what is the problem? I think it is more cultural than anything else. Even if Chinese people had guns they would not think about using them to resolve disputes. Saving face is very important to the Chinese and anybody who goes into a school and starts shooting at people definitely loses face. That is a lot worse than speaking out of turn. Americans on the other hand have a long history of settling disputes with violence. If they did not have guns there would probably be a lot of school stabbings. In fact, I think there already are.

They are fairly useless for self defence unless they happen to be in my hand. If somebody wants to rob me at the target range then they are in trouble. If somebody breaks into my house then I will confront them immediately rather than go get a gun, take it out of its case, load it and then confront the intruder, all the while hoping he was waiting around for me to get ready. If I happen to stumble into a terrorist situation and I’m armed for some reason and the terrorist is in my line of sight and I have a clear shot then yes I will take the gun out and aim for a head shot. But how often are all of those criteria met? It has never happened to me so far.

This Post Has Nothing To Do With Andy Kaufman

On 20 July 1969 mankind penetrated the maidenhead of outer space and came on the moon. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin fertilised the surface of the moon while Armstrong moaned “That’s one small step for a man. And when I say small step I’m of course referring to my diminutive penis”. And like all men, they left a big mess.

Or did they?

We all saw Capricorn One where Sam Waterston and Barbra Streisand’s husband tried to convince everybody that Elvis is dead.

Or did we?

Americans often claim they invented democracy and freedom. This is false. France or Greece invented democracy and African and Pacific Island countries where women could walk around bare chested invented freedom. But one thing history and the truth can never take away from America is that they put a man on the moon. They are the first, and so far only, country to ever accomplish something that is really pretty impressive when you consider the primitive technology of the day. I think this is their greatest achievement.

Ironically, Neil Armstrong’s original line was supposed to be “Here I come to save the day”.

All Roads Lead to Home

My conscience has always been my family. I can’t bring myself to do anything I can’t tell my mother or grandmother about. When I was a child I quickly learned that anything I did would come back to my parents. Most of my education was at boarding schools and they told my parents everything, my test scores, what I ate, who my friends were, who I teased mercilessly.

When my parents left for Israel I had more freedom than most of my friends but the school officials still reported to my parents. When a friend was caught smoking on campus I had to assure them that I was not involved. My parents were 7000km away but I was still afraid to smoke because I knew I would have to face them sooner or later. Disappointing my father was always a worse fate than not looking cool to my peers.

The Good Shepherd

Mr Bishara is one of those really great people most of the world will never know about. He never wanted to be rich and famous. He was not at his bakery until something better came along. Baking bread is what he loved to do. He always took pride in his work no matter how small the task and that is why his bread was so good. It is amazing to me how many people don’t take pride in their work. So many people are waiting for something else. They will start to really live once they win lots of money in a contest.

I was talking to a friend the other day who is usually upset that she can’t find the right man. She is sure that once she finds him her life can begin. I keep telling her that her life began a long time ago. This is it. This is your life right now. People who wait around for their life to start are always surprised when they are old and it is almost over. There is a Pink Floyd song about that but I don’t remember which one right now.