24 December 2011
Post Title
This lack of marriage bothers my mother. As it always has. She likes to say “nokh vos darf men di ku koyfn az di milkh krigt men bekhinem”. To which I reply “besser ain ku in shtal aider tsen in feld”. Which roughly translates as “get married now” and “keep your knickers on, old lady”. She does not want us to live together. She just wants us to marry. She likes to point out that my older sisters never lived with their husbands before marriage. But then I point out that my younger sister lived with her wife long before they married. I wonder if I will have such narrow focus when I am a mother. My mother says I will. I don’t have any way to contradict that yet.
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6 comments:
I think my wife lost all her original mystique a long time ago, only to be replaced sporadically with new things every once in awhile, so would you call that 'remystique'? I wish you good luck with this endeavour. My wife and I will be together for 29 years in one week! Overall our marriage has been wonderful.
Mystique----The purpose of marriage or cohabitation I think is to begin to penetrate the two solitudes. I am not speaking in the meerkat sense of course.
Inasmuch as we can spend a lifetime trying to learn about who we are, Sigmund made a fortune on this distinctions, and press ourselves into all sorts of challenges to note our reaction, the same applies in spades when one obtains sufficient interest in another to spend time piercing this veil that is personality. I have counted and in my opinion there are approximately 123265 veils that separate a being from another being, slightly less, by let us say a factor of .037 when the other being is interesting.
About Marriage...... I am a rationalist and a lawyer so my view of the institution of marriage is legalistic. As far as I am concerned, cohabitation carries all of the legal burdens of a marriage. Certainly a moral burden of care especially in circumstances of catastrophe. The only difference is that divorce is a little less complicated in the case of cohabitation although in many jurisdictions, the division of property at the end of the period of cohabitation is identical.
Canada has such a rule as does switzerland, my two countries of citizenship. I would suggest that USA also provides similar protections for the parties.
My advice then first as an elder... listen to your mother child....second as a lawyer... depending on your national origins or where your property is located, i.e. pensions, monies etc. including inheritances, I would strongly urge that each of you sign a cohabitation agreement while the glow is still present. Your gains while in the relationship might be considered divisible in many courts. Even if religious law says one thing in one country, if a sufficiency of evidence is present to suggest that a person has a situs in another country, action could be brought in that other country.
The marriage (or period of cohabitation) may live forever, for what is love but this, but sometimes it does not.
garry
PS.
Also studied English Lit. Appropriate title for this post Lady Chatterley.
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I'm looking forward for your next post, I'll try to get the hang of it!
Inspired by Eveningson’s observation, here’s a list of all post titles that Mia took from pop culture in 2011.
“Her Whole Darkness in Motion” – book, Lady Chatterly’s Lover
“The Greens of Summers” – song, Kodachrome
“Nice Day for a White Wedding” – song, White Wedding
“Disproportionate Response” – TV, The West Wing
“All is Forgiven” – song
“Fair and Balanced” – song, Don’t Lie
“We Can’t Rewind, We’ve Gone Too Far” – song, Video Killed the Radio Star
“Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics” – TV, The West Wing
“Decent Exposure” – book, Little Black Dress
“North to the Future” – band name
“Mother Courage” – play
“Tainted Love” – song
“A Girl Can Getr Burnt Playing with Matches” – song, Fiddler on the Roof
“Long Time Gone” - song
“Walk Like an Egyptian” – song
“Blast From My Past” – movie
Some of those are common phrases. The West Wing didn’t invent any of them. North to the future is Alaska’s state motto. But I’m a little impressed that somebody noticed Brecht’s Mutter Courage und ihre Kinder.
But this list is missing an EM Forster novel and songs by Paul McCartney, Linda McCartney, Peter Gabriel, Roger Waters, John Lennon.
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