Passport to Hong Kong

What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas

The highlight of the trip as far as shows we had to pay to see rather than those involving us was George Carlin. This was when he was working in Las Vegas regularly and before he got fired for yelling at an audience while pissed. We stayed at the brand new Bellagio and everybody else wanted to see the Cirque du Soleil show. I wanted to see George. I’ve nothing against French mimes dancing in water per se but George Carlin was a very funny man.

Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. He’d say I’m going upstairs to fuck your grandmother. He was an honest man and he wasn’t going to bullshit a four-year-old.

Pictures by Cindy

Another thing I’m getting tired of is when after six policemen stick a floor lamp up some black guy’s ass the police department announces they’re going to have sensitivity training. If you need special training to be told not to jam a large cumbersome object up someone else’s asshole maybe you’re too fucked up to be on the police force in the first place.

Baby What a Big Surprise

They went to all of the right doctors who told them there is no conceivable reason they should not be able to get pregnant. They said her lady parts seem to be working and his sperm are “ordinary”. I’m not sure that is what any man wants to hear but it is good news. None of this explained why they were not getting pregnant but it all meant that they would not have to take an array of fertility drugs and have multiple fertilised eggs implanted in her uterus. They want one or two babies, not eight.

Orgies, Architecture and Hardcore Pornography

Despite their very different religious persuasions, political opinions and double penetration preferences Cindy and Raul got on well. She is a very likable person with that golden hair colour that makes you hate Californians and breasts you can’t help but notice. And no they are not real. Unless they grew several cup sizes after university. To Raul’s credit he can talk all day to people he completely disagrees with without sounding like an arrogant jerk and he is not painful to look at. I think they would make a nice looking baby but that was never going to happen. Some things I simply do not share. I am all for polyandry but polygyny is unacceptable. It has been pointed out to me that my view here is a little hypocritical but I think that most men cannot handle one woman let alone two or more. Women are better at multitasking.

Quoth the Faith Healer

Something happened a long time ago in Haiti and, uh, people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French, uh, you know Napoleon the Third or whatever, and they got together and swore a pact to the Devil. They said, “We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.” True story. And so the Devil said, “Ok. It’s a deal”. And, uh, they kicked the French out of, you know, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by by one thing after the other. Desperately poor. That island of Hispaniola is one island. It’s cut down the middle. On the one side is Haiti. On the other side is the Dominican Republic. Dominican Republic is is prosperous, healthy, full of resource, etc. Haiti is in desperate poverty. Same island. Uh, they need to have and we need to pray for them a great turning to God and out of this tragedy I’m optimistic something good may come.

--Marion Robertson

Haiti

I suppose it is good that the Haitians are getting so much coverage but I wonder how long it will last and how many people will pay attention in the months to come when disaster relief is just as important as it is now. The people of New Orleans know what I’m talking about.

Passport to Cambodia

Time Passages

My grandmother was born before DVDs, digital cameras, VCRs, cassettes, 8-track tapes, LPs. They had no cameras in their mobile phones. They had no mobile phones. Their phones were not even cordless or have buttons or a rotary dial. They had to pick up a separate receiver and tell the operator who they wanted to phone. They could listen to the radio but no FM. And they did not have transistor radios until much later. They had to go outside and get their entertainment at theatres and cinemas. Without Dolby THX or any kind of stereo sound, or colour film, or synchronized sound. The big A list star in my grandmother’s day was Charlie Chaplin.

Another Year Over and a New One Just Begun

2009 started with a bang. Literally. I was sent to Gaza in January to film things I’m not really supposed to talk about but probably can since it is no state secret, but I don’t really know who will read this so it is probably better if I don’t, even though I will not go to prison for it or even lose my job technically, but I can face more trouble than it is worth really since it is not that exciting. I didn’t want to go but I wanted to go. I constantly assured my family that I was nowhere near danger. I joked that the equipment was too valuable. It is funnier now than it was then.