Never Has So Much Been Made of So Little

The list of his government abuses against the women he has raped and those who investigate his corruption is long and tedious. Now we can add to that his attempt to censor a work of art that most people would have never heard about had he not tried to censor it. Since he had to go through the courts to close down the gallery where the painting was on display and since the courts took too long to bow down to his will, he had some of his thugs go into the gallery and destroy the painting.

It used to look like this:

The Spear by Brett Murray

Destroying original works of art in the internet age does nothing to keep them out of millions of computers. Now that Zuma’s henchmen have destroyed the real thing, even more people will see digital copies.


http://www.da.org.za/newsroom.htm?action=view-news-item&id=10704

How to Meet Your Bashert

We waited a few weeks before we started dating. There was all that defending the homeland from genocide going on. He was doing the defending. I mostly watched. What I still talk about is how he never cared that I outranked him. Too many men are intimidated by women who have more power. Or at least the perception of more power. Up until last year his job was always more important than mine. Now I would say we both do equally important work on opposite ends of the spectrum. But I still outrank him. I was always attracted to the fact that it never meant anything to him.

An Open Letter to Homophones

Four egg sample, mini of the euthanasia knead grate idles four patients. If your mail may bee ewe think cow herds are week. An other’s ex mite deep end on a heroin with a suite presents four peace of mined. Some mothers real eyes that if weed sighed with the semen than great things mite bee aloud too poor down from the son.

An Open Letter to Homophobes

If God hates homosexuality, why did he wait for the English mistranslation of the Greek mistranslation of the original Hebrew to say so? There are plenty of homoerotic euphemisms in Hebrew. Was God waiting for somebody to invent an online translator?

Are anal and oral sex between heterosexuals unnatural? Some people would actually say yes to this. Can you imagine living your entire life without oral sex? That is not just unnatural, that is an abomination.

If you can criminalise and deem unnatural people who are unlike you, how hard would it be for somebody to criminalise and deem unnatural people like you?

Back In the Sunshine Again

What have I missed while I was offline? The civil war in Syria is still going strong. Sudan and South Sudan are still fighting each other. American politicians are still campaigning for an election that is seven months away. African politicians are still taking more wives. Asian politicians are still resigning in disgrace. The world’s economy is still suffering from the consequences of people acting as if their actions have no consequences.

They changed this whole Blogger thing again. I don’t like it.




One of the unsung victims of this offline leave is this poor blog. It will never be a top priority in my life but I have not reached the point where I only post once a month. At least not yet.

Bell of the Ball

While the aliens round up humans to be their slaves they have Stanley invent a device that allows them to communicate in English, even though more people on the planet speak Chinese. They make the humans destroy everything that makes a loud metallic noise since that is the only sound that can harm the aliens. When all the toys, whistles and phones have been destroyed the aliens take off their protective helmets and settle in for a long conquest.

You Can Never Be Too Rich

Isabelle Caro
Photographed by Oliviero Toscani

Aside from the damage to the fashion industry, for whom I frankly don’t have all that much sympathy, I think this law is a bad idea because Israel is a democracy. We have all that free market capitalism going on here. The market is supposed to determine trends, not the state. If people do not like looking at paper thin models they can stop buying the products that advertise with them. When people stop buying, the advertisers will start advertising differently. The top fashion designers prefer to use stick figures, I assume because they are easier to tailor, but if the consumers want to see Kathy Bates instead of Kate Moss then that is who they will use.

I’ve nothing against Kate Moss but she is the only very thin model I could think of by name.


This woman is considered a “plus size” model

Bomb, Bomb Iran

Terrorist organisations are not concerned with how they will be viewed by history. They do not care if they are seen as the good guys or bad guys. They do not worry about sanctions. They do not bow to international pressure. And they are more than willing to kill themselves to achieve their goals. Most countries with nuclear weapons will never use them against anybody. Even Iran and North Korea are debatable. But I have absolutely no doubt that the terrorists friendly to Iran would use any weapons they had in a heartbeat. This should scare people awake far more than anything Ahmadinejad, Netanyahu or anybody running for America’s presidency could ever say.

Iran may or may not ever attack us. But their friends absolutely will.

Heavy Petting

But there are other issues to consider. Adopting a cat or dog is a serious commitment. It is not like you can flush them down the toilet when they die in a week. As Jenda said to Bart, marriage is a three year commitment. But pets last even longer. If David and I should part ways and I kick him out of my apartment with the clothes on his back and the shame of whatever he did to get kicked out, I would no longer have enough people around often enough to care for a pet. Living with somebody is one thing. Getting a pet together is serious business.



Are these dogs or toys?



Russian blue


Thai Korat


Cyprus shorthair


The most evolved breed

Mia’s Guide to Teenage Sex

They are told that they are not emotionally ready to have sex at 16. That is probably true. But I’ve known 40-year-olds who were not emotionally ready to have sex. So what is the best age to start having sex? That is entirely up to you. No arbitrary number can be chosen by governments, religions, schools, parents, friends, or even me. I am not going to say that age is just a number. The people who say that usually seem to prefer lower numbers. I cannot tell anybody when they should start having sex. I don’t think anybody can tell anybody when they can start having sex. That is up to the individual.

Woke Up, Fell Out of Bed, [Classified]

We were talking about my job. Somebody mentioned that it is interesting enough to provide plenty of blog content. That may be true but I am not looking for content. I’ve plenty to say. I simply don’t have enough time to log on and type what I want to say every day. Maybe if I had a less interesting job then I would have more time.

State of Your Union

Last month, I went to Andrews Air Force Base and welcomed home some of our last troops to serve in Iraq. Together, we offered a final, proud salute to the colors under which more than a million of our fellow citizens fought - and several thousand gave their lives.

We gather tonight knowing that this generation of heroes has made the United States safer and more respected around the world. For the first time in nine years, there are no Americans fighting in Iraq. For the first time in two decades, Osama bin Laden is not a threat to this country. Most of al Qaeda's top lieutenants have been defeated. The Taliban's momentum has been broken, and some troops in Afghanistan have begun to come home.

Killing terrorist leaders does little to stop terrorists from hating you. Lieutenants are easily replaced. Momentum may be all it takes to win an American election but it has little to do with fighting a holy war. Nine years is endless to Americans. Thousands of casualties are unacceptable. But your enemies are prepared to fight and martyr themselves generation after generation. This war will not end in your lifetime.


Imagine what we could accomplish if we followed their example. Think about the America within our reach: A country that leads the world in educating its people. An America that attracts a new generation of high-tech manufacturing and high-paying jobs. A future where we're in control of our own energy, and our security and prosperity aren't so tied to unstable parts of the world. An economy built to last, where hard work pays off, and responsibility is rewarded.

A country that truly cares about children does not have one of the worst educational systems in the developed world. You have some pretty good universities but you also have high schools that graduate children who cannot read. There is no guarantee of health cover for children. In fact, many Americans are fighting very hard to make sure that children are not covered. And some of the food you serve your children should be considered child endangerment.


They understood they were part of something larger; that they were contributing to a story of success that every American had a chance to share - the basic American promise that if you worked hard, you could do well enough to raise a family, own a home, send your kids to college, and put a little away for retirement.

The defining issue of our time is how to keep that promise alive. No challenge is more urgent. No debate is more important. We can either settle for a country where a shrinking number of people do really well, while a growing number of Americans barely get by. Or we can restore an economy where everyone gets a fair shot, everyone does their fair share, and everyone plays by the same set of rules. What's at stake are not Democratic values or Republican values, but American values. We have to reclaim them.

I don’t think this exists in America anymore. Nobody works at one place their entire adult life. Pensions are no longer enough to keep you and your wife healthy and happy for the rest of your days. A single income today cannot sustain a family. Hard work is not enough for a house, two cars in the garage, higher education for the children.


We should start with our tax code. Right now, companies get tax breaks for moving jobs and profits overseas. Meanwhile, companies that choose to stay in America get hit with one of the highest tax rates in the world. It makes no sense, and everyone knows it.

So let's change it. First, if you're a business that wants to outsource jobs, you shouldn't get a tax deduction for doing it. That money should be used to cover moving expenses for companies like Master Lock that decide to bring jobs home.
Second, no American company should be able to avoid paying its fair share of taxes by moving jobs and profits overseas. From now on, every multinational company should have to pay a basic minimum tax. And every penny should go towards lowering taxes for companies that choose to stay here and hire here.

The cost of living in America is much higher than places like China and India. You can easily hire seven Chinese to do the same job as one American. Anybody who went to any business school will tell you that seven workers are more productive than one. Chinese workers do not demand overtime pay, sick days, paid vacations. Chinese workers do not have unions.


We're also making it easier for American businesses to sell products all over the world. Two years ago, I set a goal of doubling U.S. exports over five years. With the bipartisan trade agreements I signed into law, we are on track to meet that goal - ahead of schedule. Soon, there will be millions of new customers for American goods in Panama, Colombia, and South Korea. Soon, there will be new cars on the streets of Seoul imported from Detroit, and Toledo, and Chicago.

I will go anywhere in the world to open new markets for American products. And I will not stand by when our competitors don't play by the rules. We've brought trade cases against China at nearly twice the rate as the last administration - and it's made a difference. Over a thousand Americans are working today because we stopped a surge in Chinese tires. But we need to do more. It's not right when another country lets our movies, music, and software be pirated. It's not fair when foreign manufacturers have a leg up on ours only because they're heavily subsidized.

Tonight, I'm announcing the creation of a Trade Enforcement Unit that will be charged with investigating unfair trade practices in countries like China. There will be more inspections to prevent counterfeit or unsafe goods from crossing our borders. And this Congress should make sure that no foreign company has an advantage over American manufacturing when it comes to accessing finance or new markets like Russia. Our workers are the most productive on Earth, and if the playing field is level, I promise you - America will always win.

The part about going anywhere in the world is funny. American corporations will boycott entire countries if they are less profitable than their neighbours. There are more American products in China than Taiwan because China will not let you sell to both and they have far more customers. American corporations that sell in Israel are banned from most Arab countries. 300 million Arab customers are more profitable than 8 million Israeli customers. Especially when American corporations rarely do well in Israel.


I also hear from many business leaders who want to hire in the United States but can't find workers with the right skills. Growing industries in science and technology have twice as many openings as we have workers who can do the job. Think about that - openings at a time when millions of Americans are looking for work.

That goes back to poor education. When the next generation can only write in Internet English, you are screwed.


At a time when other countries are doubling down on education, tight budgets have forced States to lay off thousands of teachers. We know a good teacher can increase the lifetime income of a classroom by over $250,000. A great teacher can offer an escape from poverty to the child who dreams beyond his circumstance. Every person in this chamber can point to a teacher who changed the trajectory of their lives. Most teachers work tirelessly, with modest pay, sometimes digging into their own pocket for school supplies - just to make a difference.

Most of the developed world invests in education. We all realise that today’s children are tomorrow’s adults. The US either does not understand this basic truth or does not care. Whenever a budget must be cut it is education that they cut first. People who care about their children would not do that.


Of course, it's not enough for us to increase student aid. We can't just keep subsidizing skyrocketing tuition; we'll run out of money. States also need to do their part, by making higher education a higher priority in their budgets. And colleges and universities have to do their part by working to keep costs down. Recently, I spoke with a group of college presidents who've done just that. Some schools re-design courses to help students finish more quickly. Some use better technology. The point is, it's possible. So let me put colleges and universities on notice: If you can't stop tuition from going up, the funding you get from taxpayers will go down. Higher education can't be a luxury - it's an economic imperative that every family in America should be able to afford.

Universities are expensive all over the world. At least the good universities are. This is not a uniquely American problem. But there is one American university that is offering free scholarships to any students who want to attend, provided they meet the entrance requirements. If you are a high school student looking for a free education, look up Antioch College in Ohio.


Let's also remember that hundreds of thousands of talented, hardworking students in this country face another challenge: The fact that they aren't yet American citizens. Many were brought here as small children, are American through and through, yet they live every day with the threat of deportation. Others came more recently, to study business and science and engineering, but as soon as they get their degree, we send them home to invent new products and create new jobs somewhere else.
That doesn't make sense.

American immigration policy has always seemed queer to me. The country was stolen and built by immigrants. Almost all Americans are descendants of immigrants. Yet most Americans have a deep xenophobia of immigrants. They also seem to think that their country is overrun with immigrants when only about 10% of their population was born elsewhere. That is nothing compared to Israel and most Arab states. Even countries that nobody wants to fight over like Switzerland, Canada, Australia have a larger percentage of immigrants.


Innovation also demands basic research. Today, the discoveries taking place in our federally-financed labs and universities could lead to new treatments that kill cancer cells but leave healthy ones untouched. New lightweight vests for cops and soldiers that can stop any bullet. Don't gut these investments in our budget. Don't let other countries win the race for the future. Support the same kind of research and innovation that led to the computer chip and the Internet; to new American jobs and new American industries.

There was a time when the rest of the world looked to the US and France to find the cures to diseases. Now far more medical breakthroughs come from Germany and Israel. Even China and India devote more time and energy to medical research.

Americans seem to have an idea that advancing anything in the medical field is bad. Medical cover would make you a Soviet style communist dictatorship and medical research is a direct insult to God. There is something fundamentally wrong with this.


But with only 2 percent of the world's oil reserves, oil isn't enough. This country needs an all-out, all-of-the-above strategy that develops every available source of American energy - a strategy that's cleaner, cheaper, and full of new jobs.

It would not take much for the US to go into rehab and recover from its oil dependency. But when you are a recovering addict you have to stay away from the dealers and not be tempted by their sweet shiny oil.


During the Great Depression, America built the Hoover Dam and the Golden Gate Bridge. After World War II, we connected our States with a system of highways. Democratic and Republican administrations invested in great projects that benefited everybody, from the workers who built them to the businesses that still use them today.

You also had a strong leader who could get things done and a popular war that most Americans supported. Even when the power shifted from the Roosevelt-Truman Democrats to the Eisenhower Republicans there was broad public support. None of that is true today.


We don't begrudge financial success in this country. We admire it. When Americans talk about folks like me paying my fair share of taxes, it's not because they envy the rich. It's because they understand that when I get tax breaks I don't need and the country can't afford, it either adds to the deficit, or somebody else has to make up the difference - like a senior on a fixed income; or a student trying to get through school; or a family trying to make ends meet. That's not right. Americans know it's not right. They know that this generation's success is only possible because past generations felt a responsibility to each other, and to their country's future, and they know our way of life will only endure if we feel that same sense of shared responsibility. That's how we'll reduce our deficit. That's an America built to last.

Americans love to complain about taxes. Yet you have some of the lowest tax rates in the world. Your state sales taxes are much lower than most of our VATs. Your income tax rates are nothing compared to some European countries.


Anyone who tells you otherwise, anyone who tells you that America is in decline or that our influence has waned, doesn't know what they're talking about. That's not the message we get from leaders around the world, all of whom are eager to work with us. That's not how people feel from Tokyo to Berlin; from Cape Town to Rio; where opinions of America are higher than they've been in years. Yes, the world is changing; no, we can't control every event. But America remains the one indispensable nation in world affairs - and as long as I'm President, I intend to keep it that way.

If you want to be an American president you cannot say that China will be number one pretty soon. But from what I have seen people around the world are not too impressed with the US lately. The people of Cape Town don’t worship you. Not even close. Japan is still grateful for all that post war aid, but they have moved on with their lives. Even the Philippines, which used to love everything American, has moved on to an unhealthy obsession with Korean pop culture.


One of my proudest possessions is the flag that the SEAL Team took with them on the mission to get bin Laden. On it are each of their names. Some may be Democrats. Some may be Republicans. But that doesn't matter. Just like it didn't matter that day in the Situation Room, when I sat next to Bob Gates - a man who was George Bush's defense secretary; and Hillary Clinton, a woman who ran against me for president.

That dig against Clinton just makes Obama look like a dick.


So it is with America. Each time I look at that flag, I'm reminded that our destiny is stitched together like those fifty stars and those thirteen stripes. No one built this country on their own. This Nation is great because we built it together. This Nation is great because we worked as a team. This Nation is great because we get each other's backs. And if we hold fast to that truth, in this moment of trial, there is no challenge too great; no mission too hard. As long as we're joined in common purpose, as long as we maintain our common resolve, our journey moves forward, our future is hopeful, and the state of our Union will always be strong.

This obligatory patriotic ending only points out some of the reasons you are having so many problems right now. You are not working as a team. You do not have each other’s backs. Unless knives are involved. You do not rise up to challenges the way you used to. Nobody is willing to sacrifice anything for the greater good. You do not have a common purpose. You have multiple agendas that don’t work well together.

Burn Into Your Memory Cells

Fair point. I don’t know if he will still be around. And I can see one of my sisters showing me the picture ten years from now and wondering what ever happened to that guy.

“He is now a billionaire from inventing the next big thing,” I say.

“Too bad you dumped him the day before he invented it,” she reminds me.

“Had I not dumped him he would never have invented it,” I remind her.

This is where she quickly learns not to even try getting the better of me in my own imaginary future conversation. And I’m in great shape and look pretty while she is old and has gained weight. And I have more magical powers.

Post Title

This lack of marriage bothers my mother. As it always has. She likes to say “nokh vos darf men di ku koyfn az di milkh krigt men bekhinem”. To which I reply “besser ain ku in shtal aider tsen in feld”. Which roughly translates as “get married now” and “keep your knickers on, old lady”. She does not want us to live together. She just wants us to marry. She likes to point out that my older sisters never lived with their husbands before marriage. But then I point out that my younger sister lived with her wife long before they married. I wonder if I will have such narrow focus when I am a mother. My mother says I will. I don’t have any way to contradict that yet.

More Gomorrah Than Sodom

Once at the lake everybody was greeted and divided into groups. Spencer Tunick was on a ladder with a megaphone. I did not find that the most efficient way to direct the scene. Everything he said was in English and he had no interpreter. I don’t have a problem with English but if you are going to a non-English speaking country then you might want to bring along somebody who knows the language. We were told basically what would happen and advised not to drink the water. This particular lake is famous because it has one of the highest concentrations of salt in the world. Its name is literally Salt Sea. In English it is called the Dead Sea because no fish can live in that much salt. If you have to be told not to drink the water then you are probably not the sharpest spike on the rail.


I am 342nd from the left.
Not copyright Spencer Tunick

The Greens of Summers

© Davida Karol

Davida Karol died Friday. You may not have heard of her but I think she was one of the classiest old broads you could ever meet. She was mostly known as an artist, actor, photographer, writer. She never really gained much fame in any one medium but excelled at whatever she did. She painted landscapes, photographed politicians and normal people, translated Russian and Polish literature into Hebrew, played old ladies and grandmothers on TV. She is best known to art gallery owners as a stubborn old lady who would nag you until you showed her work. People who watch Israeli TV might not know her name but would recognise her as that old lady.

This Post is Illegal

2.16. Freedom of Expression

1. Everyone has the right to freedom of expression, which includes
a. freedom of the press and other media;
b. freedom to receive or impart information or ideas;
c. freedom of artistic creativity; and
d. academic freedom and freedom of scientific research.

2.32. Access to Information

1. Everyone has the right of access to
a. any information held by the state; and
b. any information that is held by another person and that is required for the exercise or protection of any rights.

According to the 1996 Constitution of the Republic of South Africa.

The ANC government under Jacob Zuma has decided that enough is enough. Zuma has been investigated for corruption, bribery, extortion, rape so often in the last 10 years that something must be done if he is to remain in office. He has sued more than a few news agencies for over R60 million but they keep printing stories about him anyway. He has appointed several government lawyers to investigate the media. When that failed to stop them he hired private “security” firms to dig up as much dirt on newspaper editors and TV producers as possible. That also failed to stop the media from reporting about a powerful political leader who seems to think that what he does with state money is nobody’s business.

2.36. Limitation of Rights

1. The rights in the Bill of Rights may be limited only in terms of law of general application to the extent that the limitation is reasonable and justifiable in an open and democratic society based on human dignity, equality and freedom, taking into account all relevant factors, including
a. the nature of the right;
b. the importance of the purpose of the limitation;
c. the nature and extent of the limitation;
d. the relation between the limitation and its purpose; and
e. less restrictive means to achieve the purpose.

2. Except as provided in subsection (1) or in any other provision of the Constitution, no law may limit any right entrenched in the Bill of Rights.

Nice Day for a White Wedding

Ria wore a latte off the shoulder, cap sleeve A-line Italian silk organza gown with tulle netting and antique embroidery. Hava wore an ivory ruched taffeta V-neck halter with beaded straps and lace up back, side bustle, flowered and bubble hem. I only know what half of that means and I was there. But they both looked incredible. Picture two families of beauty, grace and dignity joining together. I was there too.


This picture was taken a few years ago
but it is pretty much the view from the wedding.
More or less.

What is a Hero?

Obviously I do not think Abbas is a hero. His doctoral thesis alone qualifies him as an asshole. But even worse are the murderers, kidnappers, rapists, arsonists, thieves who are being hailed as heroes by people who would not ordinarily praise murderers, kidnappers, rapists, arsonists, thieves. If they murder a Palestinian child to buy drugs then they are bad. But if they murder a Palestinian child in an effort to kill Israel then they are heroes. This kind of thinking is inhuman, antiMuslim and should be antiPalestinian.

Disproportionate Response

These are not political prisoners. These are not conscientious objectors or people who failed to pay parking fines. These are cold blooded murderers responsible for the violent deaths of 600 innocent men, women, children, including more than a few innocent Palestinian civilians. Palestinian terrorists generally kill more Palestinians than they kill Israelis. And soon they will be free to kill again.

Gilad Shalit was 19 years old when he was kidnapped. He is 26 now. When he finally goes home he will probably go to school or get a job and live out his life as he would have had he never been kidnapped. Most of the 1027 will not live the rest of their lives peacefully. They will be welcomed back by rejoicing Palestinians before they return to killing Palestinians in their quest to kill Israel.

All is Forgiven

The Yamim Noraim have once again come and gone. And nobody got hurt. My sins of the past year have mostly been pretty minor. I did not kill anybody. I did not covet my neighbour’s house or wife. I’ve not worshipped any false idols or made graven images. I did not commit adultery. At least not by my definition. At most it was more avone than pesha. It is all a bit of a grey area.

Mia’s Peace Plan II

But sometimes people can get together and talk about things without resorting to hostility. I am a member of such a message board. Nobody attacks anybody for having a different opinion and everybody seems genuinely interested in what others have to say. Is this not the point of a message board? Why participate if you are not interested in any voices besides your own? Places where everybody tries to yell the loudest make no sense to me. If you are yelling the loudest that only means that you cannot hear anything.

Obligatory 9/11 Post

In this case I think Americans can be forgiven for any dramatic hyperbole about this day and any ignorance of equal or greater tragedy in the rest of the world. When your house is on fire you are not worried about somebody else’s house on fire.

It is a date which will live in infamy probably more so than the attack on Pearl Harbor. That was a military attack on a military base. And the Americans were able to exact a horrific revenge. They will never be able to collectively punish the entire race or nationality of their enemy this time. It is easy to fight a war with another country. It is almost impossible to fight a war with a disparate group of anonymous people whose only common denominator is a lust for your destruction.

Fair and Balanced

I have been conducting my own informal and highly unscientific research since Friday. From what I have noticed CNN has reported on the American hurricane at least once an hour every day, sometimes in depth. They even interviewed local shop owners and some child with a dog. I only saw a brief mention of the super typhoon in the Philippines during the weather report. There were no interviews and no dogs.

How To Have a Riot

The two billion of us who grew up in current or former Commonwealth countries are told to see England as a bastion of all we are supposed to hope to be. Even Americans, who got out long before anybody thought to include Imperial subjects in the same sentence as British subjects, have an umbilical fascination with England. Even more so in some respects. I have never met an African, Indian, Australian who follows the goings on of the British royal family with as much vicarious interest as do some Americans. Africans have Mandela. Indians have Gandhi. Australians have the Bee Gees. I guess Americans need something to fill the void that TV simply cannot offer.

We Can’t Rewind, We’ve Gone Too Far

But there is plenty of nudity. If you record our video talks you will get to see more of us than most people would want to see. It started with a little peak of body parts here and there and escalated into something you might see on late night TV. The image quality is not very good so any thoughts of packaging and selling our show and tell time will have to wait until somebody makes a free high quality teleconference application. Many years ago somebody that I used to know threatened to sell pictures of me doing things that my mother would not want to see. But those pictures were all at low resolutions even by the standards of the day; something like 0.1 megapixels. Good luck selling them now. By the time high definition webcams are standard we will both be too old to make much money off of our prurient side. He will be back home long before that anyway.

This reminds me, I need to get more whipped cream.

The Many Fascinating Adventures of Electronica

Chinese has no alphabet. Every word is its own symbol, though there are many compound words. There are about 50 000 different characters with 215 basic root words. That simply will not fit on any reasonable keyboard. Typing in Chinese requires using the key which is most likely to have the word you want and scrolling down until you find what you are looking for. It is time consuming and easy to see why government agencies use pen and paper.

“Parks and other public spaces are full of mostly red lanterns” took me probably four seconds to type. “公園與大眾場所也會掛滿著紅色的燈籠” took over four seconds per word.

我会买明天新的厨房毛巾。

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

According to the pageviews by countries list, more people from the United States visit this blog than every other country combined. I know a few people in the US but not enough to explain that. I know far more people in Israel, South Afrika, China but they are much farther down the list. In fact, China is not on it at all but all the Chinese posts are among the most viewed. My friends in China have to work around the government’s efforts to keep its people offline and I guess keeping the reds out of your computer also keeps Blogger stats out as well.

What I find strange is that India and Saudi Arabia are high on the list. I seem to be fairly popular in southeast Asia and the European countries make sense to me but Saudi Arabia?

One of the higher keyword searches is “saudi arab nude” but given the complete lack of naked Saudis on this site you might expect people to stop looking. Unless it is a case of come for the nude Saudis, stay for the military Zionists.

Decent Exposure

Once we made our way from civilisation to nature we set up camp and Yoel and I put our clothes in bags where they belong. Yoel’s girlfriend was noticeably nervous so we decided to head straight for the water. Sometimes people need an excuse to strip off and swimming is as good as any. It is funny how people get when they are getting naked in front of others for the first time. It reminds me of watching people go off to war. Except that nudity is far less serious and almost never gets you killed. And war is a horribly unnatural invention of man. Also unlike war, we never pressured Yoel’s girlfriend into anything. She was free to remain as clothed as she wanted for as long as she wanted. She wanted to join us. She just needed the swimming excuse to help her along.

India, a Passage

But as anybody who has ever gone anywhere on business trips can tell you, it is the worst way to see a country. India is huge. I was never going to experience much of it in such a limited time. But spending most of that time at military bases is even worse. Add to that the fact that women in India’s military are few and far between. While Israel has been conscripting women since 1948 India’s military is entirely voluntary. And few women seem to want to volunteer. They are most likely not very welcome either.

Bibi Goes to Washington

I am deeply honored by your warm welcome. And I am deeply honored that you have given me the opportunity to address Congress a second time.

Mr Vice President, do you remember the time we were the new kids in town?

And I do see a lot of old friends here. And I do see a lot of new friends of Israel here. Democrats and Republicans alike.

Israel has no better friend than America. And America has no better friend than Israel. We stand together to defend democracy. We stand together to advance peace. We stand together to fight terrorism. Congratulations America. Congratulations, Mr President. You got bin Laden. Good riddance.

In an unstable Middle East, Israel is the one anchor of stability. In a region of shifting alliances, Israel is America’s unwavering ally. Israel has always been pro-American. Israel will always be pro-American.

My friends, you don’t need to do nation building in Israel. We’re already built. You don’t need to export democracy to Israel. We’ve already got it. You don’t need to send American troops to defend Israel. We defend ourselves. You’ve been very generous in giving us tools to do the job of defending Israel on our own. Thank you all, and thank you President Obama, for your steadfast commitment to Israel’s security. I know economic times are tough. I deeply appreciate this.

Support for Israel’s security is a wise investment in our common future. For an epic battle is now unfolding in the Middle East, between tyranny and freedom. A great convulsion is shaking the earth from the Khyber Pass to the Straits of Gibraltar. The tremors have shattered states and toppled governments.

And we can all see that the ground is still shifting. Now this historic moment holds the promise of a new dawn of freedom and opportunity. Millions of young people are determined to change their future. We all look at them. They muster courage. They risk their lives. They demand dignity. They desire liberty.

These extraordinary scenes in Tunis and Cairo, evoke those of Berlin and Prague in 1989. Yet as we share their hopes, but we also must also remember that those hopes could be snuffed out as they were in Tehran in 1979. You remember what happened then. The brief democratic spring in Iran was cut short by a ferocious and unforgiving tyranny. This same tyranny smothered Lebanon’s democratic Cedar Revolution, and inflicted on that long-suffering country, the medieval rule of Hezbollah.

So today, the Middle East stands at a fateful crossroads. Like all of you, I pray that the peoples of the region choose the path less travelled, the path of liberty. No one knows what this path consists of better than you. This path is not paved by elections alone. It is paved when governments permit protests in town squares, when limits are placed on the powers of rulers, when judges are beholden to laws and not men, and when human rights cannot be crushed by tribal loyalties or mob rule.

Israel has always embraced this path, in the Middle East has long rejected it. In a region where women are stoned, gays are hanged, Christians are persecuted, Israel stands out. It is different.

As the great English writer George Eliot predicted over a century ago, that once established, the Jewish state will “shine like a bright star of freedom amid the despotisms of the East.” Well, she was right. We have a free press, independent courts, an open economy, rambunctious parliamentary debates. You think you guys are tough on one another in Congress? Come spend a day in the Knesset. Be my guest.

Courageous Arab protesters, are now struggling to secure these very same rights for their peoples, for their societies. We’re proud that over one million Arab citizens of Israel have been enjoying these rights for decades. Of the 300 million Arabs in the Middle East and North Africa, only Israel’s Arab citizens enjoy real democratic rights. I want you to stop for a second and think about that. Of those 300 million Arabs, less than one-half of one-percent are truly free, and they’re all citizens of Israel.

This startling fact reveals a basic truth: Israel is not what is wrong about the Middle East. Israel is what is right about the Middle East.

Israel fully supports the desire of Arab peoples in our region to live freely. We long for the day when Israel will be one of many real democracies in the Middle East.

Fifteen years ago, I stood at this very podium, and said that democracy must start to take root in the Arab World. Well, it’s begun to take root. This beginning holds the promise of a brilliant future of peace and prosperity. For I believe that a Middle East that is genuinely democratic will be a Middle East truly at peace.

But while we hope and work for the best, we must also recognize that powerful forces oppose this future. They oppose modernity. They oppose democracy. They oppose peace.

Foremost among these forces is Iran. The tyranny in Tehran brutalizes its own people. It supports attacks against American troops in Afghanistan and Iraq. It subjugates Lebanon and Gaza. It sponsors terror worldwide.

When I last stood here, I spoke of the dire consequences of Iran developing nuclear weapons. Now time is running out, and the hinge of history may soon turn. For the greatest danger facing humanity could soon be upon us: A militant Islamic regime armed with nuclear weapons.

Militant Islam threatens the world. It threatens Islam. I have no doubt that it will ultimately be defeated. It will eventually succumb to the forces of freedom and progress. But like other fanaticisms that were doomed to fail, militant Islam could exact a horrific price from all of us before its inevitable demise.

A nuclear-armed Iran would ignite a nuclear arms race in the Middle East. It would give terrorists a nuclear umbrella. It would make the nightmare of nuclear terrorism a clear and present danger throughout the world. I want you to understand what this means. They could put the bomb anywhere. They could put it on a missile. It could be on a container ship in a port, or in a suitcase on a subway.

Now the threat to my country cannot be overstated. Those who dismiss it are sticking their heads in the sand. Less than seven decades after six million Jews were murdered, Iran’s leaders deny the Holocaust of the Jewish people, while calling for the annihilation of the Jewish state.

Leaders who spew such venom, should be banned from every respectable forum on the planet. But there is something that makes the outrage even greater: The lack of outrage. In much of the international community, the calls for our destruction are met with utter silence. It is even worse because there are many who rush to condemn Israel for defending itself against Iran’s terror proxies.

But not you. Not America. You have acted differently. You’ve condemned the Iranian regime for its genocidal aims. You’ve passed tough sanctions against Iran. History will salute you America.

President Obama has said that the United States is determined to prevent Iran from developing nuclear weapons. He successfully led the Security Council to adopt sanctions against Iran. You in Congress passed even tougher sanctions. These words and deeds are vitally important.

Yet the Ayatollah regime briefly suspended its nuclear program only once, in 2003, when it feared the possibility of military action. That same year, Muammar Qadaffi gave up his nuclear weapons program, and for the same reason. The more Iran believes that all options are on the table, the less the chance of confrontation. This is why I ask you to continue to send an unequivocal message: That America will never permit Iran to develop nuclear weapons.

As for Israel, if history has taught the Jewish people anything, it is that we must take calls for our destruction seriously. We are a nation that rose from the ashes of the Holocaust. When we say never again, we mean never again. Israel always reserves the right to defend itself.

My friends, while Israel will be ever vigilant in its defense, we will never give up on our quest for peace. I guess we’ll give it up when we achieve it. Israel wants peace. Israel needs peace. We’ve achieved historic peace agreements with Egypt and Jordan that have held up for decades.

I remember what it was like before we had peace. I was nearly killed in a firefight inside the Suez Canal. I mean that literally. I battled terrorists along both banks of the Jordan River. Too many Israelis have lost loved ones. I know their grief. I lost my brother.

So no one in Israel wants a return to those terrible days. The peace with Egypt and Jordan has long served as an anchor of stability and peace in the heart of the Middle East.

This peace should be bolstered by economic and political support to all those who remain committed to peace.

The peace agreements with Egypt and Jordan are vital. But they’re not enough. We must also find a way to forge a lasting peace with the Palestinians. Two years ago, I publicly committed to a solution of two states for two peoples: A Palestinian state alongside the Jewish state.

I am willing to make painful compromises to achieve this historic peace. As the leader of Israel, it is my responsibility to lead my people to peace.

This is not easy for me. I recognize that in a genuine peace, we will be required to give up parts of the Jewish homeland. In Judea and Samaria, the Jewish people are not foreign occupiers. We are not the British in India. We are not the Belgians in the Congo.

This is the land of our forefathers, the Land of Israel, to which Abraham brought the idea of one God, where David set out to confront Goliath, and where Isaiah saw a vision of eternal peace. No distortion of history can deny the four thousand year old bond, between the Jewish people and the Jewish land.

But there is another truth: The Palestinians share this small land with us. We seek a peace in which they will be neither Israel’s subjects nor its citizens. They should enjoy a national life of dignity as a free, viable and independent people in their own state. They should enjoy a prosperous economy, where their creativity and initiative can flourish.

We’ve already seen the beginnings of what is possible. In the last two years, the Palestinians have begun to build a better life for themselves. Prime Minister Fayad has led this effort. I wish him a speedy recovery from his recent operation.

We’ve helped the Palestinian economy by removing hundreds of barriers and roadblocks to the free flow of goods and people. The results have been nothing short of remarkable. The Palestinian economy is booming. It’s growing by more than 10% a year.

Palestinian cities look very different today than they did just a few years ago. They have shopping malls, movie theaters, restaurants, banks. They even have e-businesses. This is all happening without peace. Imagine what could happen with peace. Peace would herald a new day for both peoples. It would make the dream of a broader Arab-Israeli peace a realistic possibility.

So now here is the question. You have to ask it. If the benefits of peace with the Palestinians are so clear, why has peace eluded us? Because all six Israeli Prime Ministers since the signing of Oslo accords agreed to establish a Palestinian state. Myself included. So why has peace not been achieved? Because so far, the Palestinians have been unwilling to accept a Palestinian state, if it meant accepting a Jewish state alongside it.

You see, our conflict has never been about the establishment of a Palestinian state. It has always been about the existence of the Jewish state. This is what this conflict is about. In 1947, the United Nations voted to partition the land into a Jewish state and an Arab state. The Jews said yes. The Palestinians said no. In recent years, the Palestinians twice refused generous offers by Israeli Prime Ministers, to establish a Palestinian state on virtually all the territory won by Israel in the Six Day War.

They were simply unwilling to end the conflict. And I regret to say this: They continue to educate their children to hate. They continue to name public squares after terrorists. And worst of all, they continue to perpetuate the fantasy that Israel will one day be flooded by the descendants of Palestinian refugees.

My friends, this must come to an end. President Abbas must do what I have done. I stood before my people, and I told you it wasn’t easy for me, and I said, “I will accept a Palestinian state.” It is time for President Abbas to stand before his people and say, “I will accept a Jewish state.”

Those six words will change history. They will make clear to the Palestinians that this conflict must come to an end. That they are not building a state to continue the conflict with Israel, but to end it. They will convince the people of Israel that they have a true partner for peace. With such a partner, the people of Israel will be prepared to make a far reaching compromise. I will be prepared to make a far reaching compromise.

This compromise must reflect the dramatic demographic changes that have occurred since 1967. The vast majority of the 650,000 Israelis who live beyond the 1967 lines, reside in neighborhoods and suburbs of Jerusalem and Greater Tel Aviv.

These areas are densely populated but geographically quite small. Under any realistic peace agreement, these areas, as well as other places of critical strategic and national importance, will be incorporated into the final borders of Israel.

The status of the settlements will be decided only in negotiations. But we must also be honest. So I am saying today something that should be said publicly by anyone serious about peace. In any peace agreement that ends the conflict, some settlements will end up beyond Israel’s borders. The precise delineation of those borders must be negotiated. We will be very generous on the size of a future Palestinian state. But as President Obama said, the border will be different than the one that existed on June 4, 1967. Israel will not return to the indefensible lines of 1967.

We recognize that a Palestinian state must be big enough to be viable, independent and prosperous. President Obama rightly referred to Israel as the homeland of the Jewish people, just as he referred to the future Palestinian state as the homeland of the Palestinian people. Jews from around the world have a right to immigrate to the Jewish state. Palestinians from around the world should have a right to immigrate, if they so choose, to a Palestinian state. This means that the Palestinian refugee problem will be resolved outside the borders of Israel.

As for Jerusalem, only a democratic Israel has protected freedom of worship for all faiths in the city. Jerusalem must never again be divided. Jerusalem must remain the united capital of Israel. I know that this is a difficult issue for Palestinians. But I believe with creativity and goodwill a solution can be found.

This is the peace I plan to forge with a Palestinian partner committed to peace. But you know very well, that in the Middle East, the only peace that will hold is a peace you can defend.

So peace must be anchored in security. In recent years, Israel withdrew from South Lebanon and Gaza. But we didn’t get peace. Instead, we got 12,000 thousand rockets fired from those areas on our cities, on our children, by Hezbollah and Hamas. The UN peacekeepers in Lebanon failed to prevent the smuggling of this weaponry. The European observers in Gaza evaporated overnight.

So if Israel simply walked out of the territories, the flow of weapons into a future Palestinian state would be unchecked. Missiles fired from it could reach virtually every home in Israel in less than a minute. I want you to think about that too. Imagine that right now we all had less than 60 seconds to find shelter from an incoming rocket. Would you live that way? Would anyone live that way? Well, we aren’t going to live that way either.

The truth is that Israel needs unique security arrangements because of its unique size. Israel is one of the smallest countries in the world. Mr Vice President, I’ll grant you this. It’s bigger than Delaware. It’s even bigger than Rhode Island. But that’s about it. Israel on the 1967 lines would be half the width of the Washington Beltway.

Now here’s a bit of nostalgia. I first came to Washington thirty years ago as a young diplomat. It took me a while, but I finally figured it out: There is an America beyond the Beltway. But Israel on the 1967 lines would be only nine miles wide. So much for strategic depth.

So it is therefore absolutely vital for Israel’s security that a Palestinian state be fully demilitarized. And it is vital that Israel maintain a long-term military presence along the Jordan River. Solid security arrangements on the ground are necessary not only to protect the peace, they are necessary to protect Israel in case the peace unravels. For in our unstable region, no one can guarantee that our peace partners today will be there tomorrow.

And when I say tomorrow, I don’t mean some distant time in the future. I mean tomorrow. Peace can be achieved only around the negotiating table. The Palestinian attempt to impose a settlement through the United Nations will not bring peace. It should be forcefully opposed by all those who want to see this conflict end.

I appreciate the President’s clear position on this issue. Peace cannot be imposed. It must be negotiated. But it can only be negotiated with partners committed to peace.

And Hamas is not a partner for peace. Hamas remains committed to Israel’s destruction and to terrorism. They have a charter. That charter not only calls for the obliteration of Israel, but says ‘kill the Jews wherever you find them’. Hamas’ leader condemned the killing of Osama bin Laden and praised him as a holy warrior. Now again I want to make this clear. Israel is prepared to sit down today and negotiate peace with the Palestinian Authority. I believe we can fashion a brilliant future of peace for our children. But Israel will not negotiate with a Palestinian government backed by the Palestinian version of Al Qaeda.

So I say to President Abbas: Tear up your pact with Hamas. Sit down and negotiate. Make peace with the Jewish state. And if you do, I promise you this. Israel will not be the last country to welcome a Palestinian state as a new member of the United Nations. It will be the first to do so.

My friends, the momentous trials of the last century, and the unfolding events of this century, attest to the decisive role of the United States in advancing peace and defending freedom. Providence entrusted the United States to be the guardian of liberty. All peoples who cherish freedom owe a profound debt of gratitude to your great nation. Among the most grateful nations is my nation, the people of Israel, who have fought for their liberty and survival against impossible odds, in ancient and modern times alike.

I speak on behalf of the Jewish people and the Jewish state when I say to you, representatives of America, Thank you. Thank you for your unwavering support for Israel. Thank you for ensuring that the flame of freedom burns bright throughout the world. May God bless all of you. And may God forever bless the United States of America.

Benjamin Netanyahu
Washington, DC
24 May 2011

Copied from the Jerusalem Post website.

North to the Future

An interesting sequence was where Palin and the mother with eight children went to a firing range to practise shooting at bear targets. Just in case. As if their only line of defence was Sarah Palin and the mother with eight children.

The mother with eight children had never handled a firearm and made that fact perfectly clear. She genuinely seemed not to know what the instructor was talking about. But much has been made of Palin’s shooting at wolves from aircraft. Ignoring the fact that hunters generally consider this cowardly and point out that it is what poachers do, it takes a certain level of skill to hit a running animal from a moving aircraft. When Palin was at the firing range she could not hit the side of a bullet with a barn.

Worse than her aim was that she did not know the difference between a cartridge in the magazine or in the chamber. This is a very important safety distinction that everybody should know before they even touch a firearm. Every hunter in the world knows the difference. She also seemed overly concerned about recoil. This is something an experienced hunter would never worry about.

Happy Nakba Day

I’ve endless sympathy for the people of Palestine. They have been used as pawns by so many for so long. Hundreds of thousands of them were displaced when the Ottomans and the British decided to carve up the land. So were hundreds of thousands of Israelis. And I have never seen any Arab group anywhere advocate letting any of those Israelis and their descendants back in.

But Israelis have Israel. Do Arabs have any countries they can call their own? Obviously I’m missing the point. It is not enough to have Palestine, Jordan, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Libya, Yemen, Iraq, Kuwait, Bahrain, Morocco, Qatar, Oman, Algeria, Tunisia, Somalia, Sudan, UAE. They are simply incomplete without Israel.

The Big News Stories

On the stranger side of the news, some kind of weird glitch in blogger made it impossible to post. Any time I tried I got this error message: “Illegal post time (format is: hh:mm AM/PM)” even though I always had it set to the proper 24 hour format and not that am/pm nonsense. Changing the time manually and setting it to am/pm did nothing. Then somebody told me that if your language is set to South African English this happens. Even though it has never happened to me before. Changing it to UK English has solved the problem. I’m sure there is some kind of international conspiracy afoot but I haven’t the time just now.

Full Frontal Nudity

I do not call myself a nudist or naturist or clothesfree lifestyle advocate or any of the accepted vernacular. I never use the terms they want me to use. I am antisemantic. But what really annoys the nudist community is my complete disregard for nudist organisations like AANR and TNS. I have never been a member and never will be. This alone means that I cannot be a real nudist according to the true believers. I do not bemoan their existence, and they do good things from time to time. They are a good resource for finding good beaches. But I do not think I should have to join some club to enjoy nature. Nature is free. Other than the fees you have to pay to get in. I do not want to pay money just to say I’m a card carrying member of some group. Especially when I’ve no pockets in which to carry the cards.


My new fully nude avatar.

It Took Off Into the Sky Leaving a Trail of Smoke Behind It

I don’t really understand the Christian obsession with virginity anyway. It seems to be based on the belief that God knocked up a virgin to make a demigod love child. I guess if you are a man and want to be like Jesus then you have to marry a virgin. But they really don’t like the suggestion that Jesus married anybody. It seems to me that if you want to be like Jesus then your mother has to be a virgin. Good luck with that.

The Muslim obsession with virginity makes a lot more sense. It is about power and control. Men can do what they want. Women cannot. It is completely sexist and rooted in a deeply inherent misogyny but it is easier to understand.

But that is why there is chocolate and vanilla. You believe in your rules and I will believe in mine. Fortunately, my rules don’t sentence me to an eternity in hell. Whoever eventually marries me is not getting a delicate, young unblossomed flower. I will be more like a drooping daisy by the time I’m wed. I rarely date anybody who is surprised by my lack of inexperience. I’m 31, I’ve had a few marriage proposals, I’ve dated polyandrously. It would be far more shocking if I were a dainty young thing.

How to Be Famous

The Beatles are unquestionably the most successful musical act in the entire history of the universe. It took years of playing questionable establishments and a lot of record company rejection before they made it big. That is how you did it back then. You played as much as you could wherever you could and your local following developed into a larger following.

Now all you have to do is go on one of the Pop Idol programmes and you are an instant superstar. Never mind the fact that none of the winners of any of those shows has ever become a pop idol. Britney Spears may be more well known for her public behaviour than her music but at least she went through years of auditions and rejections before she got the chance to make her first album. How did Justin Bieber earn his fame? As far as I know he put a video on Youtube and some record producers pushed him through marketing before he ever recorded anything. When did he pay his dues?

George and Ringo said it don’t come easy. They meant that it did not come easy back then.


Really?

Mother Courage

Lassie Come Home, Courage of Lassie, Jane Eyre, The White Cliffs of Dover, National Velvet, Life with Father, Cynthia, A Date with Judy, Julia Misbehaves, Little Women, Conspirator, The Big Hangover, Father of the Bride, Father’s Little Dividend, A Place in the Sun, Quo Vadis, Love is Better Than Ever, The Girl Who Had Everything, Rhapsody, Elephant Walk, Beau Brummell, The Last Time I Saw Paris, Raintree Country, Giant, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Suddenly Last Summer, Scent of Mystery, Butterfield 8, The Sandpiper, The VIPs, The Taming of the Shrew, Doctor Faustus, Reflections in a Golden Eye, The Comedians, Secret Ceremony, The Only Game in Town, Under Milk Wood, Hammersmith is Out, Divorce His Divorce Hers, Night Watch, Ash Wednesday, Identikit, The Blue Bird, Victory at Entebbe, A Little Night Music, Return Engagement, The Mirror Crack’d, Malice in Wonderland, Young Toscanini, Sweet Bird of Youth, These Old Broads

She was Shakespeare’s Katharina, Christopher Marlowe’s Helen of Troy, Louisa May Alcot’s Amy March, Carson McCullers’ Lenora Penderton, Theodore Dreiser’s Angela Vickers, Dylan Thomas’ Rosie Probert, Agatha Christie’s Marina Rudd, Carrie Fisher’s Beryl Mason [playing a character Debbie Reynolds’ character does not like because they fought over a man a long time ago], Tennessee Williams’ Maggie Pollitt, Tennessee Williams’ Catherine Holly, Tennessee Williams’ Alexandra Del Lago, Rebecca in Ivanhoe, Martha in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Velvet Brown, Kay Banks, Leslie Benedict, Gloria Wandroud, Jimmie Jackson, Louella Parsons, Cleopatra, Maggie Simpson.

She was directed by Vincente Minnelli 3 times, George Stevens 3 times, Richard Brooks 3 times, Mervyn LeRoy twice, Joseph Mankiewicz twice, Michael Curtiz, Stanley Donen, Mike Nichols, John Huston, George Cukor.

She starred with Orson Welles, William Powell, Spencer Tracy, Margaret O’Brien, Joan Fontaine, Irene Dunne, Mickey Rooney, Jane Powell, Walter Pidgeon, Greer Garson, Robert Taylor, Montgomery Clift, Stewart Granger, Ava Gardner, Katherine Hepburn, Marlon Brando, Henry Fonda, Robert Mitchum, Burt Lancaster, Rock Hudson, James Dean, Paul Newman, Rex Harrison, Peter O’Toole, Peter Ustinov, Alec Guinness, Roddy McDowell, Anthony Hopkins, Shirley MacLaine, Jane Fonda, Warren Beatty, Michael Caine, Angela Lansbury, Debbie Reynolds and more often than not Richard Burton.

Tainted Love

While partying, drinking, eating, singing I met up with a friend whom I used to date more than 2 years and 9 months ago. Not that I am keeping count. He was also partying, drinking, eating, singing. His group of partiers, drinkers, eaters, singers met up with my group of partiers, drinkers, eaters, singers and we all partied, drank, ate, sang together. The thing about life is that one thing almost always leads to another and so it did. I don’t want to get into any details but evil, sinful fornication was involved. Dirty, hot, sweaty, evil, sinful fornication. Body parts were aroused and put inside of each other. Repeatedly. Orgasms were contracted by all and fluids from some aroused body parts were thrust into other aroused body parts.

You think love is to pray
But I’m sorry
I don’t pray that way

Ed Cobb

Cook of the House

I grew up in a country with Wimpys and Steers. Junk food is nothing new to me. But it was not something we ate in my family. We spent more time digging in the garden and cooking what we dug up in the kitchen than waiting in the drive thru and sitting on the sofa in front of the TV. I grew up in a time and place where most dinners were cooked at home and eaten as a family. Most people saw junk food as an occasional snack. Today there are millions of people who eat nothing but fast food and frozen dinners.



A wholesome dinner like mother used to thaw.


This is a real thing.


All the essential food groups. Vegetable group [French fries], dairy group [chocolate milk, artificial cheese product], unidentifiable group [hot dog], bread group [hot dog bun], chili group.


The ketchup counts as a vegetable.
If a school fed this to my child I would alert the police.


What American school children call mystery meat.


At least there is corn.

Shaking the Tree

Most countries give preference to educating boys over girls. Sons are far more likely to inherit money, property, titles, power than daughters. Men are the head of the household while women are in charge of cleaning it. Women are far more likely to be victims of domestic violence than men. Too many countries still allow ritual genital mutilation of girls where the clitoris and/or labia are cut out. I know of no country in the world where it is acceptable for boys to have their penises cut off.

Most sexual assaults are by men against women. Men can be raped but it is either very rare or rarely reported. Probably both. Most women who are raped will not report it either. We have a very strange sense of shame on this planet. I think the attacker should be the one who gets all the shame, regardless of his gender or the gender of whomever he attacked.

If you live in a country where something like International Women’s Day is obsolete, as I do, then you are lucky. Most of the women on this planet do not.

My Second First Shidduch Date

Photoshop these two into one and that is Aram.

After our walk and talk we left the park and had an early supper. All went well and I told the shadchan that I am up for another date. I want to be optimistic about it all but I’m too old and too experienced not to be realistic. Could he be my bashert? I have no earthly idea. It seems unlikely. China is nice but it was only a few years of our lives. And I will stop feeling guilty about the car accident as soon as he does something stupid or pisses me off. Or next week. Whichever comes first. It is not like it was my fault.

My First Shidduch Date

I was told before the date that Aram is 38 years old, an urban planner, never married, no children of course. That is how I was told. “No children, of course.” I resisted the urge to point out that you can have children without ever being married. I had a vague idea of what an urban planner does but I’m no expert on the subject. At least we would have something to talk about for a few minutes. I’ve never met a man who does not want to educate people about what his job is really like as opposed to what people think it is like.

I was very specifically not told what Aram looks like. This is usually an enormous warning sign. But the shadchan explained that God wants us to merely look upon outward appearance as decoration. That is an even bigger warning. This guy must be ass to mouth ugly. But then I realised that the shadchan probably was not telling Aram what I looked like either. He was probably only told my age, job, never married, no children of course.

And Now a Brief Interruption in the Woe is Mia Show for a Clarification

I seem to have caused some confusion with the picture caption “Swimming naked as the day is short” accompanied by a picture where I am clearly not swimming and appear to have some kind of blue thing covering my naked. This is true. I was not swimming at the exact moment that particular picture was taken. However, the obviously wet hair and all that blue watery stuff in the background should be enough to lead the viewer to assume that swimming had recently taken place. The blue thing in the bottom corner is a towel. It is indeed covering my naked. It is also drying all the watery stuff on the naked. The uncropped version looks something like this:



All three of the posted pictures are cropped because I am thinking about changing my profile picture. What I have now has been up for a while and the picture itself is several years older. I highly doubt that I shall find a husband from blogging but I might as well put up a better face shot as long as I am at the market.

I’ve no idea who did the poster behind me in the first picture. It is not mine and I cannot remember seeing anything on the print. I would guess Edward Hopper. I’m probably not naked in that picture either.

A Girl Can Get Burnt Playing with Matches

My favourite aspect of the shidduch is that I can completely avoid all the messy parts of dating. I am not very good at rejecting people. I’ve never perfected a good “that was fun but I would rather never see your face again” speech. The shidduch takes care of all that. After the first date you are supposed to tell the shadchan whether you want a second date or not. He then tells the other person. All of that when will he call me, why didn’t he call me bullshit is gone. The shadchan lets everybody know where they stand and nobody has to deal with any confrontations. I used to call it dating for cowards. The shadchan remains the intermediary until both people mutually decide that he is no longer needed. Usually a proposal soon follows since the goal of Jewish dating is marriage. Supposedly.

The Bravery of Being Out of Range

I did not want to get married for a long time. I wanted to be married but always in some distant future. I’ve thrown away several possibly rewarding relationships because they were too serious for what I wanted at the time. I wanted to experience as much of life as I could before I settled down to washing dishes and changing nappies. It took me a long time to fully realise that having a husband and children are a major life experience. And there is no law that says I can’t travel to exotic places with children or have wild uninhibited sex with a husband. It just takes more effort.


With immodest shoulders.


Swimming naked as the day is short.


I would marry me.

Long Time Gone

I am flying the Sikorsky S-70, what the Americans call black hawk and we call yanshuf, best known for going down in a Ridley Scott movie. Fortunately I am a better pilot than Ewan McGregor. I went from the Education and Youth Corps under a ta’al to the Helicopter Air Group under an aluf. That the current branch is led by a higher rank should tell you something about what the people in charge think of my former department.


© Columbia Pictures

New Year’s Resolution

But this year I’m making a resolution. I will meet my future husband. Not necessarily get married. I know that it takes time to develop real relationships. It is unlikely that I will meet somebody tomorrow and be ready to marry by the end of the year. Especially with my schedule. And I’ve reason to believe that my sister might get married this year. I don’t want to take anything away from her. I have no tangible evidence to back up my claim. It is more a suspicion than anything else. But I am willing to put money on it. Any takers?

新年快樂

Before the festival begins, houses are supposed to be cleaned and doorways are decorated with red phrases and poems. Red is the luckiest color and symbolizes good fortune and happiness. During the festival, red envelopes with money are given to younger family members. It is supposed to be money for suppressing the evil spirits but it usually ends up spent at 7-11. The amount of money given in the red envelopes should be lucky. Odd numbers are bad. Even numbers are good. Except four. Four is very unlucky because 四 [four] sounds like 死 [death]. Children will literally beg for these red envelopes and it is unlucky for the parents, aunts, uncles to say no.

Walk Like an Egyptian

There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it; always.

Mahatma Gandhi