Auto Erratic Asphyxiation

American car makers are criticised for making large trucks that nobody wants to buy. If that is true then why have so many people bought them? Have you ever seen an American parkade? They are an SUV wasteland. Somebody is buying them. They were not fuel efficient when they were fashionable so there is little point complaining that they are not fuel efficient now.

By American

Dragon Boat Day

Nobody really knows how or why 端午節 started but the most popular story is that of 屈原, a royal advisor between 320 to 300 BCE. When 屈原 fell out of favour he went into exile and wrote a lot of poetry. Either disgusted by the state of government corruption or because of changing dynasties 屈原 jumped into the nearest river and drowned. Out of respect for the poet, people raced their boats onto the river and threw food in so the fish wouldn’t eat his body.

Most of that is fantasy and today’s Dragon Boat Festival was called something else a few thousand years ago. But 屈原 really is an important poet of that period and I suppose any excuse to steam up some 糭子 is a good one.

Antimatter of Fact

My chief complaint is how Ewan McGregor flies the helicopter. It is not his fault since he is just an actor doing as told but ironic considering McGregor’s role in JetSet and his brother being an RAF pilot. In the movie he applies forward cyclic on a prolonged vertical ascent. Then he jumps out of the aircraft and it continues to climb. Each are completely ridiculous. Forward cyclic provides forward pitch. The aircraft would move forward. Releasing all of the flight controls simultaneously would cause the aircraft to spiral out of control. Helicopters do not simply glide forward like fixed wing aircraft. You really don’t want to jump out of a large machine with quickly rotating blades when it is out of control.

Aside from that how does a priest have enough money to hire an international assassin? And why would an experienced international assassin be stupid enough to try and drive that car away? I know more about car bombs than this guy.

Yerushalayim Shel Zahav

Before settling in Israel my grandfather visited Jerusalem many times. It has always been a special city for him. When they did finally settle, Jerusalem was the only option as far as he was concerned. My grandparents have lived there ever since and are determined to die there some day. Hopefully not for many more years.

My grandfather and I disagree on most things political. But we agree that Jerusalem is a beautiful city and I think it is only fitting that this year we celebrated his birthday on the day we celebrated Jerusalem itself.

How To Annoy Me

At some point the “journalist” remarked on an Elvis pin John once owned that is now part of the exhibit.

“Apparently he was a huge Elvis fan. Who knew?”

Who knew? Everybody.

It's All Greece To Me

And a little slice of Turkey, too.

Not the golden fleece, Volos

Mykonos

Panagia Paraportiani, Mykonos

Oia, Santorini

For years I’ve been looking at similar pictures of Santorini and thinking this church commanded a space at the top of a hill surrounded by nothing but sky and sea.

Not even close.

Santorini is famous for its sunsets.
A blind monkey couldn’t take a bad picture here.

The famous lighthouse in Chania, Crete

Etz Hayyim Synagogue in Chania, the lone survivor

A view of Chania, featuring Kioutsouk Hasan Mosque

A view from Chania

The Acropolis at Lindos, Rhodes

Acropolyptic

St, Paul’s Bay, seen from the Acropolis

Izmir, Turkey

Konak Square, Izmir

Hagia Sophia, Istanbul
formerly a church then a mosque now a museum

Galata, Istanbul, seen from Sultanahmet

Sultan Ahmet Mosque, very large and very peaceful inside.
Hagia Sophia was noisy and crowded and they’re renovating.
Since the Blue Mosque is an actual mosque it was much more relaxed.

Since I know somebody’s going to want some nude beach pictures, here you are

Warning: just looking at this picture will make you want to marry a goat.

Slippery When Wet

And what about bestiality and ultimately what about child molestation and pedophilia? How can we criminalize these things and at the same time have constitutional amendments allowing same-sex marriage among homosexuals.

-- Marion “Pat” Robertson


If you are a Marionite have somebody who can read look up the word incommensurable and explain it to you. An adult human marrying another adult human and having messy anal sex until they become bored with each other and turn their attention to reality TV has as much to do with beastiality and paedophilia as green. Beastiality is to homosexuality what hate from TV preachers is to the teachings of Jesus.

Come on feel the boyz

Picture Yourself On a Train In a Station

Another clip from China. This one had technical difficulties the first time I tried to upload it. After I edited it all is well. See if you can find the cut.

One Big Bantustan

Zuma's base

When apartheid died some apologists feared the most morally corrupt criminals would soon take over. Turns out they were right.

Glory Days

This picture looks exactly like my mother way back in the old days. It is pretty spooky. She has expressly forbade me from posting her picture on this site but she cannot say anything if I post my own. But she does anyway. Anybody who knows her would assume it is a picture of her and not me.

'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy

Say Say Say
Through the years/I can’t just stand in here/my taste in furniture/you know I’m crying ooh ooh ooh

Compared to Paul’s enunciation and proper use of English, Michael sounds like a babbling street lunatic.


Beat It
Show them how fucking strong is your fight/it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right

Before Michael went completely insane this seemed much for a PG pop idol.


Bennie and the Jets
She’s got electric boobs/her mom has two/you know I read it in a magazine

Almost everybody I’ve spoken with on this subject heard the same thing.


Tiny Dancer
Hold me close atomic dancer/count the head lice on the hiway/lay me down and sheep some lemon

Some of Taupin’s lyrics can be a little obtuse and John rarely enunciates clearly.

You'll Always Be a Baby To Me

Though she was born a long long time ago

My mother is one of those people who does not mind getting older. She simply does not want it to happen so quickly. She still thinks of herself as a thirty something. But her youngest daughter is 28. Her oldest is 36. We are constant reminders that her youth is long since passed. Sometimes she says she is middle aged. Only if she lives to 120. Assuming she is 60 now. I shall never tell.

Obligatory Obama Post

NEW FIRST DOG ARRIVES!
Suspense finally over. First Family gets new Portuguese pooch. Happy girls let dad out of the doghouse and back into the Oval Office.

FIRST LADY MICHELLE: FLAWLESSLY FABULOUS
The question on everybody’s mind: who’s America’s newest style icon wearing?

TACO TUESDAYS
Exclusive look at Sasha and Malia’s lunch menu. Dad’s day may be glum but daughter’s day is all yum!

FIRST TOILET’S FIRST 100 DAYS
Obama has more bowel movements than any president since Nixon. “The Oval Office toilet gets scrubbed 3 times a day” says an aide. “Now that’s change we can believe in.”

Ok, I made up the last one, but it is only a matter of time.

When Pigs Flew

Mad cow, bird flu, swine flu. What do all these animals have against us? Is this their revenge for our dinners, shoes and viagra? Couldn’t they just rise up in some Orwellian fashion?

Durban II 2

There is an irony in letting Mahmoud Ahmadinejad make a speech at a conference on racism. I wonder if it was lost on the delegates. Then again, the United Nations described the conference as a “shining example of what the UN is supposed to do best: unite to combat injustice in the world.” How’s that for irony?

Justice Inaction

On Wednesday the people of South Afrika will once again rubber stamp the ANC into office and elect the racist, sexist, homophobic and corrupt asshole Jacob Zuma president. I don’t like Jacob Zuma.

I don’t like him because he hates white people and that is the kind of thinking this country needs to finally be rid of. I don’t like him because he hates women. I don’t know how he can have so many wives and still think so little of women. I don’t think you can effectively rule a country if you consider half of its people inferior. I don’t like him because he advocates violence against homosexuals, unmarried pregnant women and anybody who does not fit his idea of an acceptable religious adherent. I don’t want him to be president because he is the epitome of corruption within a party that has elevated corruption to high art.

My Favourite Sedarim

The time I accidentally brought two dates. As an unwritten rule we try not to bring anybody we are not serious about. Not that anybody would mind but we like to save the real torture for those who deserve it most. I was not really serious about either of them but I was a young rebel at the time and I had completely forgotten that I’d invited one when I invited the other. It was uncomfortable for a few people, especially my dates, but I thought it was funny. This was probably my mother’s favourite seder because she got to interrogate two boys for the price of one.

Spring Cleaning

This year’s seder was pretty much like any other. My grandmother, mother and I cooked the meal. We did a wonderful job. We all took turns reading the haggadah. Most of us argued about politics, with Ria and I on one end and the men on the other. My grandfather and I drank too much. He always used to be able to drink me under the table but I think his advancing years are finally catching up with him. Soon the student will be the teacher.

Pesach

Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech haO’lam shehheh chehyanu vehki yehmanu vehheganu lazman hazeh.

En kelohenu. En kadonenu. En kemalkenu. En kemoshi’enu.
Mi kelohenu. Mi kadonenu. Mi kemalkenu. Mi kemoshi’enu.
Nodeh lelohenu. Nodeh ladonenu. Nodeh lemalkenu. Nodeh lemoshi’enu.
Barukh Elohenu. Barukh Adonenu. Barukh Malkenu. Barukh Moshi’enu.
Atah hu Elohenu. Atah hu Adonenu. Atah hu Malkenu. Atah hu Moshi’enu.
Atah hu shehiqtiru abotenu, lefanekha eth qetoreth hasamim.

For King and Country

I don’t understand putting king before country. Without the country the king is just some guy yelling maniacally at people on the street. Without the king you find a new king. The country goes on. We don’t have a king but I can’t imagine anybody putting our PM above the country. The PM’s job is to serve the people. At least in theory. A no confidence vote means little to a king but it’s essentially the same job.