How to Be Stupid

The UN envoy to the Middle East said that evicting people was against the Geneva Conventions guidelines for occupied territory. Somebody needs to tell the UN that Israel does not consider any part of Israel occupied territory.

I would like Tel Aviv to be the capital just as much as any European. It would make my life easier on a number of levels. But sooner or later we are all going to have to face the fact that Jerusalem is Israel’s capital. You can’t decide ours anymore than we can decide yours. And if we can then I say San Francisco is America’s new capital. Just to force all those politicians to live there. Republicans will love the Castro.

And anybody whose job title is UN envoy to the Middle East should be sacked immediately. None of the parties involved care what the UN says. You might as well make Tony Blair a special peace envoy. That would be funny were it not so appalling.

What Is Terrorism?

We consider any attack from Palestinian militants or their sympathetic neighbours to be terrorism. But is any premeditated shooting against a group of people you don’t like terrorism? Palestinian terrorists are not terrorists because they are Palestinian. They are terrorists because they are killing innocent civilians, mostly children and the elderly, simply because they do not like us.

Vote For This Post

In looking into this blog award thing I have found there are entire websites dedicated to giving out awards to blogs. Are we really that needy? Will your cooking improve if you have the Best Food Blog? Will your children grow up happier if you are the Best Mommy Blog? Will you be a better person if you post the Best Blog of All Time? Those are all real things, although I think it might be a little too soon to know which is the best blog of all time.

I think once you are desperate for one of these awards you start pandering. Then what is the point of doing it at all? That is like only writing in your diary what you want your nosey sister to read. Guilty parties know who they are.

Soon we will have the Twitter awards, or #twitties. There will be awards for Best Smileys, Bst Abbv, Biggest Twit. Acceptance speeches can only be five words or less.

Kaapstad

I can’t talk about how beautiful Cape Town is without showing pictures. But even pictures from a professional photographer would not do it justice. Everybody who has been there knows what I’m talking about.

These are random pictures taken over the years.

The picture of Table Mountain from Bloubergstrand that you are required to include with every discussion of Cape Town

Glencairn, Fish Hoek, Kalk Bay

The second most famous view of Table Mountain, from Lion’s Head

Sunrise over False Bay

The city centre, harbour, airport, Table Mountain

Lion’s Head, Camp’s Bay, Table Mountain

Glencairn, Fish Hoek, Kalk Bay

Signal Hill, the city centre and V&A, Robben Island, Table Bay

  

Clouds from Table Bay filling Platteklip Gorge

The famous changing booths at St James

Clouds from Camp’s Bay creeping up Table Mountain

A typical sunset over the Cape 

The same location years later

It is not so much that this is a crappy picture but what you see when you are in the middle of clouds at 1000 metres

Some boulders at Boulders Beach

Completely enveloped by clouds on Table Mountain

 

Simon’s Town Harbour and Fish Hoek

The moon over Hangklip, taken with a borrowed panoramic camera

Not a very sunny day over False Bay

Observant readers may have noticed I like taking pictures of clouds

Cape Town, taken with a borrowed panoramic camera

Jy is veilig hier

You usually have to drive out of most cities to get any scenery. Cape Town is surrounded by it. Table Mountain cuts through the city and acts as a border for several neighbourhoods. The views from the top are incredible, better than any man made observation tower van heinde en verre. On a clear day you can see the city centre and V&A, past Robben Island and up to Churchhaven on one side, the estates in Clifton and Camps Bay and deep into the Atlantic Ocean on another side. And if you are up for a moeilik hike, across the Flats and out to the Boland. It is almost always a clear day. With over 3 million people you are going to get some air pollution but the city’s location creates a natural ventilation system, what the ouvolk used to call the Cape Doctor, blowing most of the smog into the ocean or up to Lamberts. It’s ok. They deserve it.

Please Mr Postman

I cannot access my e-mail account for some reason. I don’t know what the problem is. I can open the site but I cannot log in. It gives me an error message that says the page is currently unavailable. It has been saying that for days.

So if you have sent me e-mail and I have not responded, that is why. I’m not ignoring you. I promise.

Two’s Company

I think it is appropriate that everybody is now talking about Jackson like he is the epitome of all that is good and pure in the world. When you are dead they should remember the good things and not whatever disgusting things were forced upon little boys. Allegedly. I personally think that he never did anything untoward to any children. What I thought was inappropriate was making his daughter give a speech in front of thousands of strangers in that stadium. That seemed more than manipulative. That was just mean.

The Dating Game: Virgin Territory

We spent the night in the canyon itself, near the Three Rondavels. I have always liked camping but I cannot imagine it was very fun for our chaparones. Hormonal teenagers in the woods, away from their parents, with endless hiding places for mischief cannot be an easy shrift for those responsible. My boyfriend and I could never get away from our friends or the adults, so my honour was never in danger. But we sure tried.


Mac-Mac Falls

The Drakensberge Escarpment
Even if I were a good photographer no picture would do it justice

The Dating Game: First Kiss

Cheered on by our peers, Mark and I dutifully made our way into the dark wardrobe. I was wallowing too much in my own broken dreams to notice that I was not Mark’s first choice either. Once locked away inside, Mark looked at me like I was not a whore and I looked at him like he was not Aaron. We spent the better part of those seven minutes not doing anything our parents would lose any sleep over.

Can You Take Me Back Where I Came From?

I used to go back for elections but now we can vote abroad. Thanks to Helen Zille and the Democratic Alliance thousands of Afrikans living elsewhere can vote. The process leaves me doubting that our votes are counted but at least it is a step forward. In previous elections it was almost impossible to vote outside of the country. The reason the African National Congress has always opposed this is because the overwhelming majority of those who vote abroad vote DA. In this election the DA won 77% of overseas votes. The ANC has their own spin on this. They say that if we really cared about South Afrika then we would live there. Fair point. But if the ANC was not such a corrupt, racist, sexist, xenophobic organisation then maybe more of us would. Under Zuma I’m sure they will drive even more whites away, which is what he wants.

Totsiens

I stayed at my parents’ house for a while. That was an unusual experience. Except for during my recuperation I had not lived with them since early high school and most of the time I lived at school. I usually stayed with one of my sisters or my grandparents whenever I visited the country. Spending the night with my sisters is like a childhood sleepover. Staying with my grandparents is an adventure in diplomacy and decorum. Living with my parents was awkward. Not so much because Papa was ill but because I was no longer 15 years old. My habits and hobbies had become more adult. I think it naturally hard for a mother to treat her child like an adult after treating her like a child for so long.

It’s Like Rain On Your Wedding Day

Just after saying I don’t post here every day I have three days in a row.

Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?

B is for Braai

I was not the worst student either. I only skipped classes for good reason. Like the surf was good that day or the local art house cinema was showing an Orson Welles retrospective. I avoided cigarettes and drugs like a pestilence. At least until university. I drank more than a teenager should but we are encouraged to take wine on the holy days and what is holier than Shabbat? I know the boys were praising God whenever we drank.

Iran So Far Away

Much to nobody’s surprise Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was reelected in a landslide. According to his government. I don’t think the immediate charges of fraud surprised anybody either. What separates the evil doers from the rest of us is how they handle it. Mir-Hossein Mousavi encouraged his supporters to riot. Maybe that is his right. Maybe he has been wronged and sees no other way to make it right. Or maybe he is just a sore loser.

A is for Apfel

Reading online is probably the worst way to improve your English. I’m always reading articles from supposedly respected organisations that think “wet your appetite” and “raise the bar” are correct. Just yesterday I read an AP article that said “reap what you sew”. Either the writers don’t know the difference or they are relying too heavily on spell check.

Once upon a time when newspapers were printed on paper they had proofreaders to check these things. Today you click the little check mark or ABC icon and if it says all’s well then it must be. Case in point, like every other blogger I don’t have any proofreaders or editors, so when I make a mistake it is because I don’t know any better. Or I’m disregarding that particular rule because I don’t much like it. Or I’m just doing it to annoy my mother.

Change You Can Believe In

I went to a site that has thousands of templates. I liked three. When I tried the first one my browser crashed. I don’t use that browser computer geeks tell you to use but it is still a rare day when mine crashes. The second one looked a lot worse in person than it did on their site. Anybody who has tried online dating knows what I’m talking about. The third had some kind of error in the code that I didn’t feel like trying to figure out. It was my third choice after all.

i-Mom 2.0

I like that she is open to new technologies and willing to try new things but I worry about the kind of people she is bound to encounter. Let’s face it, there are lots of fucked up people online. Understanding the subtle nuances of text versus personal contact is beyond the abilities of many online veterans. For somebody as new as my mother it will be confusing.

A Monumental Occasion

Woke up.
Fell out of bed.
Dragged a brush through the tentacles that are my morning hair.
Had a jog/swim/bike.
Took a shower. Sorry, no pictures.
Ate breakfast.
Paid previous day’s traffic fines.
Drove to work, ignoring all posted speed guidelines.
Went online at work instead of doing work.
Drove home in traffic.
Could have walked home faster.
Made dinner with/for family/friends.
Talked/laughed/sang all night.
Went to sleep.
Alone again.
Naturally.

More Angels and Demons

What got Help in trouble was the depiction of homosexuals as sympathetic characters. Homosexuals are traditionally portrayed as mentally disturbed or amoral criminals. In the end they should either repent or die. In this film they are simply regular people with regular problems. They do not even see being homosexual as a problem. You can see why this movie had it coming.

It Was 30 Years Ago Today

While most of my friends my age are planning play dates and birthday parties for their children I am planning holidays abroad and trying to schedule more flight time. I’m jealous of their life and they are jealous of mine. I think that is how it works. When I finally do have children to care for I will be living vicariously through some single adventurer and wishing I could still do all of those things that I used to do when I wished I had children.

Sometimes I think it would be easier to be a Buddhist monk. Let all your cares go while sitting under a bodhi tree and sipping mango juice. But the sauvastikas would really bother me.