Hello Dalai

I like China. It is a beautiful country with interesting people. The government is not entirely bad once you push past all the paperwork. They export a lot of cheap crap but if they did not you know that India would.

Make Mine a Double, Isaac (or Greece is the Word)

The next day we arrived in Mykonos. This was more like the Greece I wanted to see. There were too many tourists but Ria and I found a way around them. While the oldsters took a bus tour of the shuffleboard museum and a pelican, Ria and I hired scooters and wandered about the island. The pelican part is not a joke. There is actually a famous pelican that people go to see. Ria and I did not see any pelicans but we found a great little beach. I think Mr Ya’acov would have had a heart attack had he gone with us. All those bare young bodies would have put him over the edge. Ria is not as textile liberated as I am but you know what they say. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When on a Greek beach, take off your clothes.

Durban II: The Reckoning

It is ironic that an international conference on racism and xenophobia can’t succeed because the participants are too racist and xenophobic. Instead of coming into it with an open mind to discuss these problems, too many of them have an agenda of hate against some other country or ethnic group. If they are only looking to criticise one group or another while considering themselves sacrosanct then what is the point?

Happiness is a Warm Gun

So if there is no correlation between gun ownership and gun crime then what is the problem? I think it is more cultural than anything else. Even if Chinese people had guns they would not think about using them to resolve disputes. Saving face is very important to the Chinese and anybody who goes into a school and starts shooting at people definitely loses face. That is a lot worse than speaking out of turn. Americans on the other hand have a long history of settling disputes with violence. If they did not have guns there would probably be a lot of school stabbings. In fact, I think there already are.

They are fairly useless for self defence unless they happen to be in my hand. If somebody wants to rob me at the target range then they are in trouble. If somebody breaks into my house then I will confront them immediately rather than go get a gun, take it out of its case, load it and then confront the intruder, all the while hoping he was waiting around for me to get ready. If I happen to stumble into a terrorist situation and I’m armed for some reason and the terrorist is in my line of sight and I have a clear shot then yes I will take the gun out and aim for a head shot. But how often are all of those criteria met? It has never happened to me so far.

This Post Has Nothing To Do With Andy Kaufman

On 20 July 1969 mankind penetrated the maidenhead of outer space and came on the moon. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin fertilised the surface of the moon while Armstrong moaned “That’s one small step for a man. And when I say small step I’m of course referring to my diminutive penis”. And like all men, they left a big mess.

Or did they?

We all saw Capricorn One where Sam Waterston and Barbra Streisand’s husband tried to convince everybody that Elvis is dead.

Or did we?

Americans often claim they invented democracy and freedom. This is false. France or Greece invented democracy and African and Pacific Island countries where women could walk around bare chested invented freedom. But one thing history and the truth can never take away from America is that they put a man on the moon. They are the first, and so far only, country to ever accomplish something that is really pretty impressive when you consider the primitive technology of the day. I think this is their greatest achievement.

Ironically, Neil Armstrong’s original line was supposed to be “Here I come to save the day”.

All Roads Lead to Home

My conscience has always been my family. I can’t bring myself to do anything I can’t tell my mother or grandmother about. When I was a child I quickly learned that anything I did would come back to my parents. Most of my education was at boarding schools and they told my parents everything, my test scores, what I ate, who my friends were, who I teased mercilessly.

When my parents left for Israel I had more freedom than most of my friends but the school officials still reported to my parents. When a friend was caught smoking on campus I had to assure them that I was not involved. My parents were 7000km away but I was still afraid to smoke because I knew I would have to face them sooner or later. Disappointing my father was always a worse fate than not looking cool to my peers.

The Good Shepherd

Mr Bishara is one of those really great people most of the world will never know about. He never wanted to be rich and famous. He was not at his bakery until something better came along. Baking bread is what he loved to do. He always took pride in his work no matter how small the task and that is why his bread was so good. It is amazing to me how many people don’t take pride in their work. So many people are waiting for something else. They will start to really live once they win lots of money in a contest.

I was talking to a friend the other day who is usually upset that she can’t find the right man. She is sure that once she finds him her life can begin. I keep telling her that her life began a long time ago. This is it. This is your life right now. People who wait around for their life to start are always surprised when they are old and it is almost over. There is a Pink Floyd song about that but I don’t remember which one right now.

This Isn’t Florida

A coalition with Kadima would be more balanced but Livni has completely rejected the idea. Netanyahu has little choice but to bring in more conservative parties. This is bad news for Palestine, uncertainty for security and who knows how it will affect the economy.

Six weeks and counting. Let the games begin.

Movin’ Out

This is what I don’t understand. If you are going to move to another country what is the point in trying to find one that is just like your old country? It is one thing if you are moving to avoid persecution, but if you are moving abroad to experience a different life, why pick a place that is similar to your old life? Moving from the United States to Canada is like moving from Australia to New Zealand. You have to change your phone number but it is not going to change your perspective on the world at large.

Gaza Q&A

Why doesn’t Israel just pull out of Palestine and leave them alone?

That is an easy one. Israel will leave when the Palestinian Authority disarms their terrorists. The Palestinian Authority will disarm their terrorists when Israel pulls out. Somewhere along the line somebody is going to have to compromise. So far Israel has made many concessions while Palestine has made none. Each time Israel gives away more land the response has been more violence.

Israel does not want to control Palestine. Palestine has been the bane of Israel’s existence for 60 years. By being “the occupier” Israel is obligated to provide electricity, food and water. Without Israel’s economic assistance Palestine would have starved decades ago. Their Arab neighbours are not interested.

Palestine was offered sovereignty in 1947 but the Arab League refused. Israel practically begged Jordan to take over Palestine in 1968 but they refused. Israel offered to leave Gaza and almost all of the West Bank in 2000 but Palestine refused. Arab countries seem to think that it is more advantageous for them to leave Palestine as an occupied state. And it is. There is a reason all those Palestinian refugees in camps have never been integrated into those countries’ societies. Since 1948 only Jordan has ever made any Palestinian refugees citizens of its country.

It is not a control issue. When Israel gave Sinai back to Egypt they were happy and there was peace. When Israel gave part of Golan back to Syria they were not happy but there was peace. Every time Israel gives some land to Palestine there is more violence. As soon as Israel pulled out of Gaza, Hamas took over and terrorism escalated. If history is any indication, pulling out of the entire West Bank would lead to a bloodbath.

And I Think It’s Gonna Be a Long Long Time

Obviously I am biased. I’m an Israeli citizen. I serve in the IDF. I want my side to win. But I don’t think it is an issue of Jews versus Muslims or Israelis versus Arabs. It is extremists versus moderates.

None of the Palestinians I know have any problems with Israel. They simply want their country to have a sovereign government recognised by the international community. I think that is what most Israelis want also. From my point of view the biggest obstacle to this is terrorist activity against Israel.

The worst thing Israeli extremists want are more settlements in Palestine. While Israeli settlements do not help, they also do not cause the deaths of innocent children. The worst thing Palestinian extremists want is the death of every last Israeli man, woman and child. I’m biased but I think killing all Israelis is much worse than building houses in Palestine.

In the propaganda war on TV and the internet between Israel and Hamas I have heard too much about who is right and who is wrong, who did what bad things to whom. Everybody is convinced they are right and as usual the people who suffer the most are the children. Not a single Israeli or Palestinian child chose this. They don’t care about what happened in 1967 or 1948 or 1500 years ago. The children of Israel and Palestine are being killed because their fathers and grandfathers can’t get over the past and live by the rules all children learn in the playground: Every other child is a potential friend if you share and play nice.

Election Day

There have been some complaints about how ugly the campaign has been but it is pretty tame compared to some other countries. We just cannot compete with the personal attacks in the American and Zimbabwean elections. Those people accuse each other of the worst things they can imagine. And unlike recent elections in Palestine and Zimbabwe, none of our candidates have been tortured or killed. Not so much as a beating. This election has been pretty boring.

Cooking Corner: Sourdough Pizza

In a hurry? Starving? Really lazy? If you don’t bake the bread yourself the whole thing takes about ten minutes. Sometimes I will bake my own bread but I’m more a cook than baker. For today’s lesson we are using bread baked by professionals downstairs.

The Dating Game: Horror Stories II

I had thought Jerry was going to make dinner but it turned out his mother did. When we all sat down at the dinning room table she asked me if I liked pork chops. I told her I was Jewish and the look on her face was exactly how people look when told they only have six months to live. I assume. Jerry’s father mentioned that I don’t look Jewish and his mother hushed him. Literally. This is a common remark amongst Americans, as if all Jewish people have some look about them. I know where it comes from but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they do not.

Having a Jew in their house really killed the mood and the beginning of dinner was pretty quiet. Timmy or Tommy or whatever his name was asked me if I knew that it was the Jews who killed Jesus and his mother quickly escorted him out of the room for a quick talk. The father reassuringly announced that Jesus was Jewish and I mentioned that Sigmund Freud was as well. I wonder what Freud would say about that.

新年快樂

下週一是農曆春節，在中國稱作為春節或農曆春節。在中國以外的區域稱為中國人的新年。不論你如何稱呼它，它開始於中國農民曆的第一天，不同於穆斯林與希伯來人的月曆，這個假期開始於農民曆的第一天，結束於農曆十五，最後一天就是元宵節，但是不同國家的中國人通常只慶祝剛開始的前幾天。

對於年代的排序取決於你和誰談論，新年開始慶祝於4706年或4646年。在中國的部分地區稱為民國98年(像是台灣)，年代的開始主要是因為朝代的替換，新朝代的開始就稱為元年，清朝是最後一個帝王統治的朝代，它結束於西元1911年，中華民國開始於西元1912年，近年多數的中國人開始使用羅馬的曆法而稱為西元2009年，不論你使用那種曆法(農民曆或是西洋曆)，它即將由中國生肖的鼠年到今年的牛年。

在節慶的開始，家家戶戶會開始清掃門戶(又稱做大掃除)並貼上新的春聯。紅色在中國傳統是非常幸運的顏色，它也象徵了吉祥與喜樂。在春節期間，人們會用紅包裝入壓歲錢給年輕的成員。雖然到後來錢都花到7-11買東西，但裝了錢的紅包可以驅走不好的事情。單數(1.3.5.7.9)在中國人的眼中代表不吉利，雙數(2.6.8.10)就代表好事，所以中國人常說「好事成雙」。除了數字4對中國人來說代表不吉利外，因為發音與「死」相近。大部分的中國人喜歡「6」代表「六六大順」、「8」與「發」的發音表示「發財」與「賺大錢」。小孩常常會說些吉祥話向是「恭喜發財」、「新年快樂」，雙手環抱鞠躬來拿取紅包，當長輩看到小孩可愛的模樣，很難說「不」。

星期天就是農曆除夕(又稱大年夜)，所有家中的成員會一起吃年夜飯(又稱圍爐)。年菜中一定會有鱼(象徵著年年有餘)、油角、年糕、羅漢齋等象徵著繁榮興旺。年夜飯也是一年當中最重要的一頓晚餐，傳統的習俗家人會再吃完年夜飯後到廟裡燒香祈求未來的一年平安順遂，但這幾年比較受歡迎的是除夕的跨年守歲活動。有些家庭在初一的早上會吃水餃，因為水餃的形狀和古時候的錢「元寶」相似，象徵著新的一年衣食無缺，有些家庭甚至會在水餃中包入新的硬幣，當你吃到包了錢幣的水餃會帶給你一年的好運。

在大年初一人們會去向家中的長輩拜年，有時需要長途跋涉或是搭乘大眾交通工具像是火車。去年中國遇到非常大的暴風雪，影響到上百萬人的返鄉之路。這天也是舞龍、舞獅與鞭炮聲齊鳴的時刻，比較大的城市像是北京和香港更將這種表演當成公眾的演出。農曆的初二也就是回娘家，這天所有出嫁的女兒，會從夫家返回家中探視他們的雙親或是祖父母。對少數人而言，這幾天需要花額外的時間返家探親與拜年。

經過三到四天的假期，大部分的人在農曆初五會回到工作崗位。但是過節的氣氛還是延續，人們還是會吃特別的食物與放鞭炮(煙火)。但相對的就比較少去跟親戚拜年。

農曆春節的第15天就是元宵節，這一天到處充滿著燈籠，公園與大眾場所也會掛滿著紅色的燈籠。也有大的展示會場展示各式各樣精刁細琢的花燈，小孩子則會提著小燈籠玩耍。也有一種稱為湯圓(裡面包著各種餡料，像是紅豆、芝麻、花生或是鮮肉)，人們會在燈光與花燈籠罩的氣氛下享用湯圓。

新年快樂。

Happy Birthday Ria

Tomorrow my baby sister turns 28. Not so much a baby anymore. Sorry, Mother.

Full Moon Over Gaza

I don’t think it is technically a full moon, but there it is.

9 January 1974

Earlier in the day it was just us sisters. We went shopping because that’s what Dara wanted to do. I don’t really like shopping much and shopping with my sisters can be draining. When I shop I go where I need to go, buy what I need to buy and go home. When the four of us are together it can take hours just to look at shoes. But I like to spend time with them and if they want to go shopping I’ll go along. I’ve made them do what I wanted to do plenty of times.

She would not want me to say but she is now 35 years old. She is so far over the hill that it is behind her. Next year instead of shopping we are comparing nursing homes.

2008: It’s the End of the World As We Know It and I Feel Fine

My nephew Yoel had his bar mitzvah simcha. Mazel tov. I went to China for a little over a month. I visited friends in 安徽 , 江蘇 , 雲林 , and one of my favourite cities in the world 上海 . Paul McCartney came to Israel for the first and last time and I saw him in concert. Rock on. I dumped 2 boyfriends, 1 because of a stupid argument that highlighted a major flaw in our relationship and 1 because we simply weren’t compatible. I lost another boyfriend after he proposed marriage. I didn’t want to marry him and there wasn’t any going back at that point. More fish in the pond for me. I passed 1000 hours PIC in the 206. That brings me closer to my highest average in the 212. I like them both but the 206 is my favourite.

Why Don’t We Do It in the Road

I asked him who sang “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”. He said Paul. Then John. Then George. I asked him who played lead guitar. He was sure it was a trick question so he said John. When I told him it was Eric Clapton he said, “I didn't know he was in the Beatles?”

Is it any wonder I dumped the guy?