Kaapstad

I can’t talk about how beautiful Cape Town is without showing pictures. But even pictures from a professional photographer would not do it justice. Everybody who has been there knows what I’m talking about.

These are random pictures taken over the years.

The picture of Table Mountain from Bloubergstrand that you are required to include with every discussion of Cape Town

Glencairn, Fish Hoek, Kalk Bay

The second most famous view of Table Mountain, from Lion’s Head

Sunrise over False Bay

The city centre, harbour, airport, Table Mountain

Lion’s Head, Camp’s Bay, Table Mountain

Glencairn, Fish Hoek, Kalk Bay

Signal Hill, the city centre and V&A, Robben Island, Table Bay

  

Clouds from Table Bay filling Platteklip Gorge

The famous changing booths at St James

Clouds from Camp’s Bay creeping up Table Mountain

A typical sunset over the Cape 

The same location years later

It is not so much that this is a crappy picture but what you see when you are in the middle of clouds at 1000 metres

Some boulders at Boulders Beach

Completely enveloped by clouds on Table Mountain

 

Simon’s Town Harbour and Fish Hoek

The moon over Hangklip, taken with a borrowed panoramic camera

Not a very sunny day over False Bay

Observant readers may have noticed I like taking pictures of clouds

Cape Town, taken with a borrowed panoramic camera

Jy is veilig hier

You usually have to drive out of most cities to get any scenery. Cape Town is surrounded by it. Table Mountain cuts through the city and acts as a border for several neighbourhoods. The views from the top are incredible, better than any man made observation tower van heinde en verre. On a clear day you can see the city centre and V&A, past Robben Island and up to Churchhaven on one side, the estates in Clifton and Camps Bay and deep into the Atlantic Ocean on another side. And if you are up for a moeilik hike, across the Flats and out to the Boland. It is almost always a clear day. With over 3 million people you are going to get some air pollution but the city’s location creates a natural ventilation system, what the ouvolk used to call the Cape Doctor, blowing most of the smog into the ocean or up to Lamberts. It’s ok. They deserve it.

Please Mr Postman

I cannot access my e-mail account for some reason. I don’t know what the problem is. I can open the site but I cannot log in. It gives me an error message that says the page is currently unavailable. It has been saying that for days.

So if you have sent me e-mail and I have not responded, that is why. I’m not ignoring you. I promise.

Two’s Company

I think it is appropriate that everybody is now talking about Jackson like he is the epitome of all that is good and pure in the world. When you are dead they should remember the good things and not whatever disgusting things were forced upon little boys. Allegedly. I personally think that he never did anything untoward to any children. What I thought was inappropriate was making his daughter give a speech in front of thousands of strangers in that stadium. That seemed more than manipulative. That was just mean.

The Dating Game: Virgin Territory

We spent the night in the canyon itself, near the Three Rondavels. I have always liked camping but I cannot imagine it was very fun for our chaparones. Hormonal teenagers in the woods, away from their parents, with endless hiding places for mischief cannot be an easy shrift for those responsible. My boyfriend and I could never get away from our friends or the adults, so my honour was never in danger. But we sure tried.


Mac-Mac Falls

The Drakensberge Escarpment
Even if I were a good photographer no picture would do it justice

The Dating Game: First Kiss

Cheered on by our peers, Mark and I dutifully made our way into the dark wardrobe. I was wallowing too much in my own broken dreams to notice that I was not Mark’s first choice either. Once locked away inside, Mark looked at me like I was not a whore and I looked at him like he was not Aaron. We spent the better part of those seven minutes not doing anything our parents would lose any sleep over.

Can You Take Me Back Where I Came From?

I used to go back for elections but now we can vote abroad. Thanks to Helen Zille and the Democratic Alliance thousands of Afrikans living elsewhere can vote. The process leaves me doubting that our votes are counted but at least it is a step forward. In previous elections it was almost impossible to vote outside of the country. The reason the African National Congress has always opposed this is because the overwhelming majority of those who vote abroad vote DA. In this election the DA won 77% of overseas votes. The ANC has their own spin on this. They say that if we really cared about South Afrika then we would live there. Fair point. But if the ANC was not such a corrupt, racist, sexist, xenophobic organisation then maybe more of us would. Under Zuma I’m sure they will drive even more whites away, which is what he wants.

Totsiens

I stayed at my parents’ house for a while. That was an unusual experience. Except for during my recuperation I had not lived with them since early high school and most of the time I lived at school. I usually stayed with one of my sisters or my grandparents whenever I visited the country. Spending the night with my sisters is like a childhood sleepover. Staying with my grandparents is an adventure in diplomacy and decorum. Living with my parents was awkward. Not so much because Papa was ill but because I was no longer 15 years old. My habits and hobbies had become more adult. I think it naturally hard for a mother to treat her child like an adult after treating her like a child for so long.

It’s Like Rain On Your Wedding Day

Just after saying I don’t post here every day I have three days in a row.

Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?

B is for Braai

I was not the worst student either. I only skipped classes for good reason. Like the surf was good that day or the local art house cinema was showing an Orson Welles retrospective. I avoided cigarettes and drugs like a pestilence. At least until university. I drank more than a teenager should but we are encouraged to take wine on the holy days and what is holier than Shabbat? I know the boys were praising God whenever we drank.

Iran So Far Away

Much to nobody’s surprise Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was reelected in a landslide. According to his government. I don’t think the immediate charges of fraud surprised anybody either. What separates the evil doers from the rest of us is how they handle it. Mir-Hossein Mousavi encouraged his supporters to riot. Maybe that is his right. Maybe he has been wronged and sees no other way to make it right. Or maybe he is just a sore loser.

A is for Apfel

Reading online is probably the worst way to improve your English. I’m always reading articles from supposedly respected organisations that think “wet your appetite” and “raise the bar” are correct. Just yesterday I read an AP article that said “reap what you sew”. Either the writers don’t know the difference or they are relying too heavily on spell check.

Once upon a time when newspapers were printed on paper they had proofreaders to check these things. Today you click the little check mark or ABC icon and if it says all’s well then it must be. Case in point, like every other blogger I don’t have any proofreaders or editors, so when I make a mistake it is because I don’t know any better. Or I’m disregarding that particular rule because I don’t much like it. Or I’m just doing it to annoy my mother.

Change You Can Believe In

I went to a site that has thousands of templates. I liked three. When I tried the first one my browser crashed. I don’t use that browser computer geeks tell you to use but it is still a rare day when mine crashes. The second one looked a lot worse in person than it did on their site. Anybody who has tried online dating knows what I’m talking about. The third had some kind of error in the code that I didn’t feel like trying to figure out. It was my third choice after all.

i-Mom 2.0

I like that she is open to new technologies and willing to try new things but I worry about the kind of people she is bound to encounter. Let’s face it, there are lots of fucked up people online. Understanding the subtle nuances of text versus personal contact is beyond the abilities of many online veterans. For somebody as new as my mother it will be confusing.

A Monumental Occasion

Woke up.
Fell out of bed.
Dragged a brush through the tentacles that are my morning hair.
Had a jog/swim/bike.
Took a shower. Sorry, no pictures.
Ate breakfast.
Paid previous day’s traffic fines.
Drove to work, ignoring all posted speed guidelines.
Went online at work instead of doing work.
Drove home in traffic.
Could have walked home faster.
Made dinner with/for family/friends.
Talked/laughed/sang all night.
Went to sleep.
Alone again.
Naturally.

More Angels and Demons

What got Help in trouble was the depiction of homosexuals as sympathetic characters. Homosexuals are traditionally portrayed as mentally disturbed or amoral criminals. In the end they should either repent or die. In this film they are simply regular people with regular problems. They do not even see being homosexual as a problem. You can see why this movie had it coming.

It Was 30 Years Ago Today

While most of my friends my age are planning play dates and birthday parties for their children I am planning holidays abroad and trying to schedule more flight time. I’m jealous of their life and they are jealous of mine. I think that is how it works. When I finally do have children to care for I will be living vicariously through some single adventurer and wishing I could still do all of those things that I used to do when I wished I had children.

Sometimes I think it would be easier to be a Buddhist monk. Let all your cares go while sitting under a bodhi tree and sipping mango juice. But the sauvastikas would really bother me.

Auto Erratic Asphyxiation

American car makers are criticised for making large trucks that nobody wants to buy. If that is true then why have so many people bought them? Have you ever seen an American parkade? They are an SUV wasteland. Somebody is buying them. They were not fuel efficient when they were fashionable so there is little point complaining that they are not fuel efficient now.

By American

Dragon Boat Day

Nobody really knows how or why 端午節 started but the most popular story is that of 屈原, a royal advisor between 320 to 300 BCE. When 屈原 fell out of favour he went into exile and wrote a lot of poetry. Either disgusted by the state of government corruption or because of changing dynasties 屈原 jumped into the nearest river and drowned. Out of respect for the poet, people raced their boats onto the river and threw food in so the fish wouldn’t eat his body.

Most of that is fantasy and today’s Dragon Boat Festival was called something else a few thousand years ago. But 屈原 really is an important poet of that period and I suppose any excuse to steam up some 糭子 is a good one.

Antimatter of Fact

My chief complaint is how Ewan McGregor flies the helicopter. It is not his fault since he is just an actor doing as told but ironic considering McGregor’s role in JetSet and his brother being an RAF pilot. In the movie he applies forward cyclic on a prolonged vertical ascent. Then he jumps out of the aircraft and it continues to climb. Each are completely ridiculous. Forward cyclic provides forward pitch. The aircraft would move forward. Releasing all of the flight controls simultaneously would cause the aircraft to spiral out of control. Helicopters do not simply glide forward like fixed wing aircraft. You really don’t want to jump out of a large machine with quickly rotating blades when it is out of control.

Aside from that how does a priest have enough money to hire an international assassin? And why would an experienced international assassin be stupid enough to try and drive that car away? I know more about car bombs than this guy.

Yerushalayim Shel Zahav

Before settling in Israel my grandfather visited Jerusalem many times. It has always been a special city for him. When they did finally settle, Jerusalem was the only option as far as he was concerned. My grandparents have lived there ever since and are determined to die there some day. Hopefully not for many more years.

My grandfather and I disagree on most things political. But we agree that Jerusalem is a beautiful city and I think it is only fitting that this year we celebrated his birthday on the day we celebrated Jerusalem itself.

How To Annoy Me

At some point the “journalist” remarked on an Elvis pin John once owned that is now part of the exhibit.

“Apparently he was a huge Elvis fan. Who knew?”

Who knew? Everybody.

It's All Greece To Me

And a little slice of Turkey, too.

Not the golden fleece, Volos

Mykonos

Panagia Paraportiani, Mykonos

Oia, Santorini

For years I’ve been looking at similar pictures of Santorini and thinking this church commanded a space at the top of a hill surrounded by nothing but sky and sea.

Not even close.

Santorini is famous for its sunsets.
A blind monkey couldn’t take a bad picture here.

The famous lighthouse in Chania, Crete

Etz Hayyim Synagogue in Chania, the lone survivor

A view of Chania, featuring Kioutsouk Hasan Mosque

A view from Chania

The Acropolis at Lindos, Rhodes

Acropolyptic

St, Paul’s Bay, seen from the Acropolis

Izmir, Turkey

Konak Square, Izmir

Hagia Sophia, Istanbul
formerly a church then a mosque now a museum

Galata, Istanbul, seen from Sultanahmet

Sultan Ahmet Mosque, very large and very peaceful inside.
Hagia Sophia was noisy and crowded and they’re renovating.
Since the Blue Mosque is an actual mosque it was much more relaxed.

Since I know somebody’s going to want some nude beach pictures, here you are

Warning: just looking at this picture will make you want to marry a goat.

Slippery When Wet

And what about bestiality and ultimately what about child molestation and pedophilia? How can we criminalize these things and at the same time have constitutional amendments allowing same-sex marriage among homosexuals.

-- Marion “Pat” Robertson


If you are a Marionite have somebody who can read look up the word incommensurable and explain it to you. An adult human marrying another adult human and having messy anal sex until they become bored with each other and turn their attention to reality TV has as much to do with beastiality and paedophilia as green. Beastiality is to homosexuality what hate from TV preachers is to the teachings of Jesus.

Come on feel the boyz

Picture Yourself On a Train In a Station

Another clip from China. This one had technical difficulties the first time I tried to upload it. After I edited it all is well. See if you can find the cut.

One Big Bantustan

Zuma's base

When apartheid died some apologists feared the most morally corrupt criminals would soon take over. Turns out they were right.

Glory Days

This picture looks exactly like my mother way back in the old days. It is pretty spooky. She has expressly forbade me from posting her picture on this site but she cannot say anything if I post my own. But she does anyway. Anybody who knows her would assume it is a picture of her and not me.

'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy

Say Say Say
Through the years/I can’t just stand in here/my taste in furniture/you know I’m crying ooh ooh ooh

Compared to Paul’s enunciation and proper use of English, Michael sounds like a babbling street lunatic.


Beat It
Show them how fucking strong is your fight/it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right

Before Michael went completely insane this seemed much for a PG pop idol.


Bennie and the Jets
She’s got electric boobs/her mom has two/you know I read it in a magazine

Almost everybody I’ve spoken with on this subject heard the same thing.


Tiny Dancer
Hold me close atomic dancer/count the head lice on the hiway/lay me down and sheep some lemon

Some of Taupin’s lyrics can be a little obtuse and John rarely enunciates clearly.

You'll Always Be a Baby To Me

Though she was born a long long time ago

My mother is one of those people who does not mind getting older. She simply does not want it to happen so quickly. She still thinks of herself as a thirty something. But her youngest daughter is 28. Her oldest is 36. We are constant reminders that her youth is long since passed. Sometimes she says she is middle aged. Only if she lives to 120. Assuming she is 60 now. I shall never tell.

Obligatory Obama Post

NEW FIRST DOG ARRIVES!
Suspense finally over. First Family gets new Portuguese pooch. Happy girls let dad out of the doghouse and back into the Oval Office.

FIRST LADY MICHELLE: FLAWLESSLY FABULOUS
The question on everybody’s mind: who’s America’s newest style icon wearing?

TACO TUESDAYS
Exclusive look at Sasha and Malia’s lunch menu. Dad’s day may be glum but daughter’s day is all yum!

FIRST TOILET’S FIRST 100 DAYS
Obama has more bowel movements than any president since Nixon. “The Oval Office toilet gets scrubbed 3 times a day” says an aide. “Now that’s change we can believe in.”

Ok, I made up the last one, but it is only a matter of time.