Kaapstad

I can’t talk about how beautiful Cape Town is without showing pictures. But even pictures from a professional photographer would not do it justice. Everybody who has been there knows what I’m talking about.

These are random pictures taken over the years.

The picture of Table Mountain from Bloubergstrand that you are required to include with every discussion of Cape Town

Glencairn, Fish Hoek, Kalk Bay

The second most famous view of Table Mountain, from Lion’s Head

Sunrise over False Bay

The city centre, harbour, airport, Table Mountain

Lion’s Head, Camp’s Bay, Table Mountain

Glencairn, Fish Hoek, Kalk Bay

Signal Hill, the city centre and V&A, Robben Island, Table Bay

  

Clouds from Table Bay filling Platteklip Gorge

The famous changing booths at St James

Clouds from Camp’s Bay creeping up Table Mountain

A typical sunset over the Cape 

The same location years later

It is not so much that this is a crappy picture but what you see when you are in the middle of clouds at 1000 metres

Some boulders at Boulders Beach

Completely enveloped by clouds on Table Mountain

 

Simon’s Town Harbour and Fish Hoek

The moon over Hangklip, taken with a borrowed panoramic camera

Not a very sunny day over False Bay

Observant readers may have noticed I like taking pictures of clouds

Cape Town, taken with a borrowed panoramic camera

Jy is veilig hier

You usually have to drive out of most cities to get any scenery. Cape Town is surrounded by it. Table Mountain cuts through the city and acts as a border for several neighbourhoods. The views from the top are incredible, better than any man made observation tower van heinde en verre. On a clear day you can see the city centre and V&A, past Robben Island and up to Churchhaven on one side, the estates in Clifton and Camps Bay and deep into the Atlantic Ocean on another side. And if you are up for a moeilik hike, across the Flats and out to the Boland. It is almost always a clear day. With over 3 million people you are going to get some air pollution but the city’s location creates a natural ventilation system, what the ouvolk used to call the Cape Doctor, blowing most of the smog into the ocean or up to Lamberts. It’s ok. They deserve it.

Please Mr Postman

I cannot access my e-mail account for some reason. I don’t know what the problem is. I can open the site but I cannot log in. It gives me an error message that says the page is currently unavailable. It has been saying that for days.

So if you have sent me e-mail and I have not responded, that is why. I’m not ignoring you. I promise.

Two’s Company

I think it is appropriate that everybody is now talking about Jackson like he is the epitome of all that is good and pure in the world. When you are dead they should remember the good things and not whatever disgusting things were forced upon little boys. Allegedly. I personally think that he never did anything untoward to any children. What I thought was inappropriate was making his daughter give a speech in front of thousands of strangers in that stadium. That seemed more than manipulative. That was just mean.

The Dating Game: Virgin Territory

We spent the night in the canyon itself, near the Three Rondavels. I have always liked camping but I cannot imagine it was very fun for our chaparones. Hormonal teenagers in the woods, away from their parents, with endless hiding places for mischief cannot be an easy shrift for those responsible. My boyfriend and I could never get away from our friends or the adults, so my honour was never in danger. But we sure tried.


Mac-Mac Falls

The Drakensberge Escarpment
Even if I were a good photographer no picture would do it justice

The Dating Game: First Kiss

Cheered on by our peers, Mark and I dutifully made our way into the dark wardrobe. I was wallowing too much in my own broken dreams to notice that I was not Mark’s first choice either. Once locked away inside, Mark looked at me like I was not a whore and I looked at him like he was not Aaron. We spent the better part of those seven minutes not doing anything our parents would lose any sleep over.

Can You Take Me Back Where I Came From?

I used to go back for elections but now we can vote abroad. Thanks to Helen Zille and the Democratic Alliance thousands of Afrikans living elsewhere can vote. The process leaves me doubting that our votes are counted but at least it is a step forward. In previous elections it was almost impossible to vote outside of the country. The reason the African National Congress has always opposed this is because the overwhelming majority of those who vote abroad vote DA. In this election the DA won 77% of overseas votes. The ANC has their own spin on this. They say that if we really cared about South Afrika then we would live there. Fair point. But if the ANC was not such a corrupt, racist, sexist, xenophobic organisation then maybe more of us would. Under Zuma I’m sure they will drive even more whites away, which is what he wants.

Totsiens

I stayed at my parents’ house for a while. That was an unusual experience. Except for during my recuperation I had not lived with them since early high school and most of the time I lived at school. I usually stayed with one of my sisters or my grandparents whenever I visited the country. Spending the night with my sisters is like a childhood sleepover. Staying with my grandparents is an adventure in diplomacy and decorum. Living with my parents was awkward. Not so much because Papa was ill but because I was no longer 15 years old. My habits and hobbies had become more adult. I think it naturally hard for a mother to treat her child like an adult after treating her like a child for so long.

It’s Like Rain On Your Wedding Day

Just after saying I don’t post here every day I have three days in a row.

Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?

B is for Braai

I was not the worst student either. I only skipped classes for good reason. Like the surf was good that day or the local art house cinema was showing an Orson Welles retrospective. I avoided cigarettes and drugs like a pestilence. At least until university. I drank more than a teenager should but we are encouraged to take wine on the holy days and what is holier than Shabbat? I know the boys were praising God whenever we drank.

Iran So Far Away

Much to nobody’s surprise Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was reelected in a landslide. According to his government. I don’t think the immediate charges of fraud surprised anybody either. What separates the evil doers from the rest of us is how they handle it. Mir-Hossein Mousavi encouraged his supporters to riot. Maybe that is his right. Maybe he has been wronged and sees no other way to make it right. Or maybe he is just a sore loser.

A is for Apfel

Reading online is probably the worst way to improve your English. I’m always reading articles from supposedly respected organisations that think “wet your appetite” and “raise the bar” are correct. Just yesterday I read an AP article that said “reap what you sew”. Either the writers don’t know the difference or they are relying too heavily on spell check.

Once upon a time when newspapers were printed on paper they had proofreaders to check these things. Today you click the little check mark or ABC icon and if it says all’s well then it must be. Case in point, like every other blogger I don’t have any proofreaders or editors, so when I make a mistake it is because I don’t know any better. Or I’m disregarding that particular rule because I don’t much like it. Or I’m just doing it to annoy my mother.

Change You Can Believe In

I went to a site that has thousands of templates. I liked three. When I tried the first one my browser crashed. I don’t use that browser computer geeks tell you to use but it is still a rare day when mine crashes. The second one looked a lot worse in person than it did on their site. Anybody who has tried online dating knows what I’m talking about. The third had some kind of error in the code that I didn’t feel like trying to figure out. It was my third choice after all.

i-Mom 2.0

I like that she is open to new technologies and willing to try new things but I worry about the kind of people she is bound to encounter. Let’s face it, there are lots of fucked up people online. Understanding the subtle nuances of text versus personal contact is beyond the abilities of many online veterans. For somebody as new as my mother it will be confusing.

A Monumental Occasion

Woke up.
Fell out of bed.
Dragged a brush through the tentacles that are my morning hair.
Had a jog/swim/bike.
Took a shower. Sorry, no pictures.
Ate breakfast.
Paid previous day’s traffic fines.
Drove to work, ignoring all posted speed guidelines.
Went online at work instead of doing work.
Drove home in traffic.
Could have walked home faster.
Made dinner with/for family/friends.
Talked/laughed/sang all night.
Went to sleep.
Alone again.
Naturally.

More Angels and Demons

What got Help in trouble was the depiction of homosexuals as sympathetic characters. Homosexuals are traditionally portrayed as mentally disturbed or amoral criminals. In the end they should either repent or die. In this film they are simply regular people with regular problems. They do not even see being homosexual as a problem. You can see why this movie had it coming.

It Was 30 Years Ago Today

While most of my friends my age are planning play dates and birthday parties for their children I am planning holidays abroad and trying to schedule more flight time. I’m jealous of their life and they are jealous of mine. I think that is how it works. When I finally do have children to care for I will be living vicariously through some single adventurer and wishing I could still do all of those things that I used to do when I wished I had children.

Sometimes I think it would be easier to be a Buddhist monk. Let all your cares go while sitting under a bodhi tree and sipping mango juice. But the sauvastikas would really bother me.

Auto Erratic Asphyxiation

American car makers are criticised for making large trucks that nobody wants to buy. If that is true then why have so many people bought them? Have you ever seen an American parkade? They are an SUV wasteland. Somebody is buying them. They were not fuel efficient when they were fashionable so there is little point complaining that they are not fuel efficient now.

By American

Dragon Boat Day

Nobody really knows how or why 端午節 started but the most popular story is that of 屈原, a royal advisor between 320 to 300 BCE. When 屈原 fell out of favour he went into exile and wrote a lot of poetry. Either disgusted by the state of government corruption or because of changing dynasties 屈原 jumped into the nearest river and drowned. Out of respect for the poet, people raced their boats onto the river and threw food in so the fish wouldn’t eat his body.

Most of that is fantasy and today’s Dragon Boat Festival was called something else a few thousand years ago. But 屈原 really is an important poet of that period and I suppose any excuse to steam up some 糭子 is a good one.

Antimatter of Fact

My chief complaint is how Ewan McGregor flies the helicopter. It is not his fault since he is just an actor doing as told but ironic considering McGregor’s role in JetSet and his brother being an RAF pilot. In the movie he applies forward cyclic on a prolonged vertical ascent. Then he jumps out of the aircraft and it continues to climb. Each are completely ridiculous. Forward cyclic provides forward pitch. The aircraft would move forward. Releasing all of the flight controls simultaneously would cause the aircraft to spiral out of control. Helicopters do not simply glide forward like fixed wing aircraft. You really don’t want to jump out of a large machine with quickly rotating blades when it is out of control.

Aside from that how does a priest have enough money to hire an international assassin? And why would an experienced international assassin be stupid enough to try and drive that car away? I know more about car bombs than this guy.

Yerushalayim Shel Zahav

Before settling in Israel my grandfather visited Jerusalem many times. It has always been a special city for him. When they did finally settle, Jerusalem was the only option as far as he was concerned. My grandparents have lived there ever since and are determined to die there some day. Hopefully not for many more years.

My grandfather and I disagree on most things political. But we agree that Jerusalem is a beautiful city and I think it is only fitting that this year we celebrated his birthday on the day we celebrated Jerusalem itself.

How To Annoy Me

At some point the “journalist” remarked on an Elvis pin John once owned that is now part of the exhibit.

“Apparently he was a huge Elvis fan. Who knew?”

Who knew? Everybody.

It's All Greece To Me

And a little slice of Turkey, too.

Not the golden fleece, Volos

Mykonos

Panagia Paraportiani, Mykonos

Oia, Santorini

For years I’ve been looking at similar pictures of Santorini and thinking this church commanded a space at the top of a hill surrounded by nothing but sky and sea.

Not even close.

Santorini is famous for its sunsets.
A blind monkey couldn’t take a bad picture here.

The famous lighthouse in Chania, Crete

Etz Hayyim Synagogue in Chania, the lone survivor

A view of Chania, featuring Kioutsouk Hasan Mosque

A view from Chania

The Acropolis at Lindos, Rhodes

Acropolyptic

St, Paul’s Bay, seen from the Acropolis

Izmir, Turkey

Konak Square, Izmir

Hagia Sophia, Istanbul
formerly a church then a mosque now a museum

Galata, Istanbul, seen from Sultanahmet

Sultan Ahmet Mosque, very large and very peaceful inside.
Hagia Sophia was noisy and crowded and they’re renovating.
Since the Blue Mosque is an actual mosque it was much more relaxed.

Since I know somebody’s going to want some nude beach pictures, here you are

Warning: just looking at this picture will make you want to marry a goat.

Slippery When Wet

And what about bestiality and ultimately what about child molestation and pedophilia? How can we criminalize these things and at the same time have constitutional amendments allowing same-sex marriage among homosexuals.

-- Marion “Pat” Robertson


If you are a Marionite have somebody who can read look up the word incommensurable and explain it to you. An adult human marrying another adult human and having messy anal sex until they become bored with each other and turn their attention to reality TV has as much to do with beastiality and paedophilia as green. Beastiality is to homosexuality what hate from TV preachers is to the teachings of Jesus.

Come on feel the boyz

Picture Yourself On a Train In a Station

Another clip from China. This one had technical difficulties the first time I tried to upload it. After I edited it all is well. See if you can find the cut.

One Big Bantustan

Zuma's base

When apartheid died some apologists feared the most morally corrupt criminals would soon take over. Turns out they were right.

Glory Days

This picture looks exactly like my mother way back in the old days. It is pretty spooky. She has expressly forbade me from posting her picture on this site but she cannot say anything if I post my own. But she does anyway. Anybody who knows her would assume it is a picture of her and not me.

'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy

Say Say Say
Through the years/I can’t just stand in here/my taste in furniture/you know I’m crying ooh ooh ooh

Compared to Paul’s enunciation and proper use of English, Michael sounds like a babbling street lunatic.


Beat It
Show them how fucking strong is your fight/it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right

Before Michael went completely insane this seemed much for a PG pop idol.


Bennie and the Jets
She’s got electric boobs/her mom has two/you know I read it in a magazine

Almost everybody I’ve spoken with on this subject heard the same thing.


Tiny Dancer
Hold me close atomic dancer/count the head lice on the hiway/lay me down and sheep some lemon

Some of Taupin’s lyrics can be a little obtuse and John rarely enunciates clearly.

You'll Always Be a Baby To Me

Though she was born a long long time ago

My mother is one of those people who does not mind getting older. She simply does not want it to happen so quickly. She still thinks of herself as a thirty something. But her youngest daughter is 28. Her oldest is 36. We are constant reminders that her youth is long since passed. Sometimes she says she is middle aged. Only if she lives to 120. Assuming she is 60 now. I shall never tell.

Obligatory Obama Post

NEW FIRST DOG ARRIVES!
Suspense finally over. First Family gets new Portuguese pooch. Happy girls let dad out of the doghouse and back into the Oval Office.

FIRST LADY MICHELLE: FLAWLESSLY FABULOUS
The question on everybody’s mind: who’s America’s newest style icon wearing?

TACO TUESDAYS
Exclusive look at Sasha and Malia’s lunch menu. Dad’s day may be glum but daughter’s day is all yum!

FIRST TOILET’S FIRST 100 DAYS
Obama has more bowel movements than any president since Nixon. “The Oval Office toilet gets scrubbed 3 times a day” says an aide. “Now that’s change we can believe in.”

Ok, I made up the last one, but it is only a matter of time.

When Pigs Flew

Mad cow, bird flu, swine flu. What do all these animals have against us? Is this their revenge for our dinners, shoes and viagra? Couldn’t they just rise up in some Orwellian fashion?

Durban II 2

There is an irony in letting Mahmoud Ahmadinejad make a speech at a conference on racism. I wonder if it was lost on the delegates. Then again, the United Nations described the conference as a “shining example of what the UN is supposed to do best: unite to combat injustice in the world.” How’s that for irony?

Justice Inaction

On Wednesday the people of South Afrika will once again rubber stamp the ANC into office and elect the racist, sexist, homophobic and corrupt asshole Jacob Zuma president. I don’t like Jacob Zuma.

I don’t like him because he hates white people and that is the kind of thinking this country needs to finally be rid of. I don’t like him because he hates women. I don’t know how he can have so many wives and still think so little of women. I don’t think you can effectively rule a country if you consider half of its people inferior. I don’t like him because he advocates violence against homosexuals, unmarried pregnant women and anybody who does not fit his idea of an acceptable religious adherent. I don’t want him to be president because he is the epitome of corruption within a party that has elevated corruption to high art.

My Favourite Sedarim

The time I accidentally brought two dates. As an unwritten rule we try not to bring anybody we are not serious about. Not that anybody would mind but we like to save the real torture for those who deserve it most. I was not really serious about either of them but I was a young rebel at the time and I had completely forgotten that I’d invited one when I invited the other. It was uncomfortable for a few people, especially my dates, but I thought it was funny. This was probably my mother’s favourite seder because she got to interrogate two boys for the price of one.

Spring Cleaning

This year’s seder was pretty much like any other. My grandmother, mother and I cooked the meal. We did a wonderful job. We all took turns reading the haggadah. Most of us argued about politics, with Ria and I on one end and the men on the other. My grandfather and I drank too much. He always used to be able to drink me under the table but I think his advancing years are finally catching up with him. Soon the student will be the teacher.

Pesach

Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech haO’lam shehheh chehyanu vehki yehmanu vehheganu lazman hazeh.

En kelohenu. En kadonenu. En kemalkenu. En kemoshi’enu.
Mi kelohenu. Mi kadonenu. Mi kemalkenu. Mi kemoshi’enu.
Nodeh lelohenu. Nodeh ladonenu. Nodeh lemalkenu. Nodeh lemoshi’enu.
Barukh Elohenu. Barukh Adonenu. Barukh Malkenu. Barukh Moshi’enu.
Atah hu Elohenu. Atah hu Adonenu. Atah hu Malkenu. Atah hu Moshi’enu.
Atah hu shehiqtiru abotenu, lefanekha eth qetoreth hasamim.

For King and Country

I don’t understand putting king before country. Without the country the king is just some guy yelling maniacally at people on the street. Without the king you find a new king. The country goes on. We don’t have a king but I can’t imagine anybody putting our PM above the country. The PM’s job is to serve the people. At least in theory. A no confidence vote means little to a king but it’s essentially the same job.

Hello Dalai

I like China. It is a beautiful country with interesting people. The government is not entirely bad once you push past all the paperwork. They export a lot of cheap crap but if they did not you know that India would.

Make Mine a Double, Isaac (or Greece is the Word)

The next day we arrived in Mykonos. This was more like the Greece I wanted to see. There were too many tourists but Ria and I found a way around them. While the oldsters took a bus tour of the shuffleboard museum and a pelican, Ria and I hired scooters and wandered about the island. The pelican part is not a joke. There is actually a famous pelican that people go to see. Ria and I did not see any pelicans but we found a great little beach. I think Mr Ya’acov would have had a heart attack had he gone with us. All those bare young bodies would have put him over the edge. Ria is not as textile liberated as I am but you know what they say. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When on a Greek beach, take off your clothes.

Durban II: The Reckoning

It is ironic that an international conference on racism and xenophobia can’t succeed because the participants are too racist and xenophobic. Instead of coming into it with an open mind to discuss these problems, too many of them have an agenda of hate against some other country or ethnic group. If they are only looking to criticise one group or another while considering themselves sacrosanct then what is the point?

Happiness is a Warm Gun

So if there is no correlation between gun ownership and gun crime then what is the problem? I think it is more cultural than anything else. Even if Chinese people had guns they would not think about using them to resolve disputes. Saving face is very important to the Chinese and anybody who goes into a school and starts shooting at people definitely loses face. That is a lot worse than speaking out of turn. Americans on the other hand have a long history of settling disputes with violence. If they did not have guns there would probably be a lot of school stabbings. In fact, I think there already are.

They are fairly useless for self defence unless they happen to be in my hand. If somebody wants to rob me at the target range then they are in trouble. If somebody breaks into my house then I will confront them immediately rather than go get a gun, take it out of its case, load it and then confront the intruder, all the while hoping he was waiting around for me to get ready. If I happen to stumble into a terrorist situation and I’m armed for some reason and the terrorist is in my line of sight and I have a clear shot then yes I will take the gun out and aim for a head shot. But how often are all of those criteria met? It has never happened to me so far.

This Post Has Nothing To Do With Andy Kaufman

On 20 July 1969 mankind penetrated the maidenhead of outer space and came on the moon. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin fertilised the surface of the moon while Armstrong moaned “That’s one small step for a man. And when I say small step I’m of course referring to my diminutive penis”. And like all men, they left a big mess.

Or did they?

We all saw Capricorn One where Sam Waterston and Barbra Streisand’s husband tried to convince everybody that Elvis is dead.

Or did we?

Americans often claim they invented democracy and freedom. This is false. France or Greece invented democracy and African and Pacific Island countries where women could walk around bare chested invented freedom. But one thing history and the truth can never take away from America is that they put a man on the moon. They are the first, and so far only, country to ever accomplish something that is really pretty impressive when you consider the primitive technology of the day. I think this is their greatest achievement.

Ironically, Neil Armstrong’s original line was supposed to be “Here I come to save the day”.

All Roads Lead to Home

My conscience has always been my family. I can’t bring myself to do anything I can’t tell my mother or grandmother about. When I was a child I quickly learned that anything I did would come back to my parents. Most of my education was at boarding schools and they told my parents everything, my test scores, what I ate, who my friends were, who I teased mercilessly.

When my parents left for Israel I had more freedom than most of my friends but the school officials still reported to my parents. When a friend was caught smoking on campus I had to assure them that I was not involved. My parents were 7000km away but I was still afraid to smoke because I knew I would have to face them sooner or later. Disappointing my father was always a worse fate than not looking cool to my peers.

The Good Shepherd

Mr Bishara is one of those really great people most of the world will never know about. He never wanted to be rich and famous. He was not at his bakery until something better came along. Baking bread is what he loved to do. He always took pride in his work no matter how small the task and that is why his bread was so good. It is amazing to me how many people don’t take pride in their work. So many people are waiting for something else. They will start to really live once they win lots of money in a contest.

I was talking to a friend the other day who is usually upset that she can’t find the right man. She is sure that once she finds him her life can begin. I keep telling her that her life began a long time ago. This is it. This is your life right now. People who wait around for their life to start are always surprised when they are old and it is almost over. There is a Pink Floyd song about that but I don’t remember which one right now.

This Isn’t Florida

A coalition with Kadima would be more balanced but Livni has completely rejected the idea. Netanyahu has little choice but to bring in more conservative parties. This is bad news for Palestine, uncertainty for security and who knows how it will affect the economy.

Six weeks and counting. Let the games begin.

Movin’ Out

This is what I don’t understand. If you are going to move to another country what is the point in trying to find one that is just like your old country? It is one thing if you are moving to avoid persecution, but if you are moving abroad to experience a different life, why pick a place that is similar to your old life? Moving from the United States to Canada is like moving from Australia to New Zealand. You have to change your phone number but it is not going to change your perspective on the world at large.

Gaza Q&A

Why doesn’t Israel just pull out of Palestine and leave them alone?

That is an easy one. Israel will leave when the Palestinian Authority disarms their terrorists. The Palestinian Authority will disarm their terrorists when Israel pulls out. Somewhere along the line somebody is going to have to compromise. So far Israel has made many concessions while Palestine has made none. Each time Israel gives away more land the response has been more violence.

Israel does not want to control Palestine. Palestine has been the bane of Israel’s existence for 60 years. By being “the occupier” Israel is obligated to provide electricity, food and water. Without Israel’s economic assistance Palestine would have starved decades ago. Their Arab neighbours are not interested.

Palestine was offered sovereignty in 1947 but the Arab League refused. Israel practically begged Jordan to take over Palestine in 1968 but they refused. Israel offered to leave Gaza and almost all of the West Bank in 2000 but Palestine refused. Arab countries seem to think that it is more advantageous for them to leave Palestine as an occupied state. And it is. There is a reason all those Palestinian refugees in camps have never been integrated into those countries’ societies. Since 1948 only Jordan has ever made any Palestinian refugees citizens of its country.

It is not a control issue. When Israel gave Sinai back to Egypt they were happy and there was peace. When Israel gave part of Golan back to Syria they were not happy but there was peace. Every time Israel gives some land to Palestine there is more violence. As soon as Israel pulled out of Gaza, Hamas took over and terrorism escalated. If history is any indication, pulling out of the entire West Bank would lead to a bloodbath.

And I Think It’s Gonna Be a Long Long Time

Obviously I am biased. I’m an Israeli citizen. I serve in the IDF. I want my side to win. But I don’t think it is an issue of Jews versus Muslims or Israelis versus Arabs. It is extremists versus moderates.

None of the Palestinians I know have any problems with Israel. They simply want their country to have a sovereign government recognised by the international community. I think that is what most Israelis want also. From my point of view the biggest obstacle to this is terrorist activity against Israel.

The worst thing Israeli extremists want are more settlements in Palestine. While Israeli settlements do not help, they also do not cause the deaths of innocent children. The worst thing Palestinian extremists want is the death of every last Israeli man, woman and child. I’m biased but I think killing all Israelis is much worse than building houses in Palestine.

In the propaganda war on TV and the internet between Israel and Hamas I have heard too much about who is right and who is wrong, who did what bad things to whom. Everybody is convinced they are right and as usual the people who suffer the most are the children. Not a single Israeli or Palestinian child chose this. They don’t care about what happened in 1967 or 1948 or 1500 years ago. The children of Israel and Palestine are being killed because their fathers and grandfathers can’t get over the past and live by the rules all children learn in the playground: Every other child is a potential friend if you share and play nice.

Election Day

There have been some complaints about how ugly the campaign has been but it is pretty tame compared to some other countries. We just cannot compete with the personal attacks in the American and Zimbabwean elections. Those people accuse each other of the worst things they can imagine. And unlike recent elections in Palestine and Zimbabwe, none of our candidates have been tortured or killed. Not so much as a beating. This election has been pretty boring.

Cooking Corner: Sourdough Pizza

In a hurry? Starving? Really lazy? If you don’t bake the bread yourself the whole thing takes about ten minutes. Sometimes I will bake my own bread but I’m more a cook than baker. For today’s lesson we are using bread baked by professionals downstairs.

The Dating Game: Horror Stories II

I had thought Jerry was going to make dinner but it turned out his mother did. When we all sat down at the dinning room table she asked me if I liked pork chops. I told her I was Jewish and the look on her face was exactly how people look when told they only have six months to live. I assume. Jerry’s father mentioned that I don’t look Jewish and his mother hushed him. Literally. This is a common remark amongst Americans, as if all Jewish people have some look about them. I know where it comes from but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they do not.

Having a Jew in their house really killed the mood and the beginning of dinner was pretty quiet. Timmy or Tommy or whatever his name was asked me if I knew that it was the Jews who killed Jesus and his mother quickly escorted him out of the room for a quick talk. The father reassuringly announced that Jesus was Jewish and I mentioned that Sigmund Freud was as well. I wonder what Freud would say about that.

新年快樂

下週一是農曆春節，在中國稱作為春節或農曆春節。在中國以外的區域稱為中國人的新年。不論你如何稱呼它，它開始於中國農民曆的第一天，不同於穆斯林與希伯來人的月曆，這個假期開始於農民曆的第一天，結束於農曆十五，最後一天就是元宵節，但是不同國家的中國人通常只慶祝剛開始的前幾天。

對於年代的排序取決於你和誰談論，新年開始慶祝於4706年或4646年。在中國的部分地區稱為民國98年(像是台灣)，年代的開始主要是因為朝代的替換，新朝代的開始就稱為元年，清朝是最後一個帝王統治的朝代，它結束於西元1911年，中華民國開始於西元1912年，近年多數的中國人開始使用羅馬的曆法而稱為西元2009年，不論你使用那種曆法(農民曆或是西洋曆)，它即將由中國生肖的鼠年到今年的牛年。

在節慶的開始，家家戶戶會開始清掃門戶(又稱做大掃除)並貼上新的春聯。紅色在中國傳統是非常幸運的顏色，它也象徵了吉祥與喜樂。在春節期間，人們會用紅包裝入壓歲錢給年輕的成員。雖然到後來錢都花到7-11買東西，但裝了錢的紅包可以驅走不好的事情。單數(1.3.5.7.9)在中國人的眼中代表不吉利，雙數(2.6.8.10)就代表好事，所以中國人常說「好事成雙」。除了數字4對中國人來說代表不吉利外，因為發音與「死」相近。大部分的中國人喜歡「6」代表「六六大順」、「8」與「發」的發音表示「發財」與「賺大錢」。小孩常常會說些吉祥話向是「恭喜發財」、「新年快樂」，雙手環抱鞠躬來拿取紅包，當長輩看到小孩可愛的模樣，很難說「不」。

星期天就是農曆除夕(又稱大年夜)，所有家中的成員會一起吃年夜飯(又稱圍爐)。年菜中一定會有鱼(象徵著年年有餘)、油角、年糕、羅漢齋等象徵著繁榮興旺。年夜飯也是一年當中最重要的一頓晚餐，傳統的習俗家人會再吃完年夜飯後到廟裡燒香祈求未來的一年平安順遂，但這幾年比較受歡迎的是除夕的跨年守歲活動。有些家庭在初一的早上會吃水餃，因為水餃的形狀和古時候的錢「元寶」相似，象徵著新的一年衣食無缺，有些家庭甚至會在水餃中包入新的硬幣，當你吃到包了錢幣的水餃會帶給你一年的好運。

在大年初一人們會去向家中的長輩拜年，有時需要長途跋涉或是搭乘大眾交通工具像是火車。去年中國遇到非常大的暴風雪，影響到上百萬人的返鄉之路。這天也是舞龍、舞獅與鞭炮聲齊鳴的時刻，比較大的城市像是北京和香港更將這種表演當成公眾的演出。農曆的初二也就是回娘家，這天所有出嫁的女兒，會從夫家返回家中探視他們的雙親或是祖父母。對少數人而言，這幾天需要花額外的時間返家探親與拜年。

經過三到四天的假期，大部分的人在農曆初五會回到工作崗位。但是過節的氣氛還是延續，人們還是會吃特別的食物與放鞭炮(煙火)。但相對的就比較少去跟親戚拜年。

農曆春節的第15天就是元宵節，這一天到處充滿著燈籠，公園與大眾場所也會掛滿著紅色的燈籠。也有大的展示會場展示各式各樣精刁細琢的花燈，小孩子則會提著小燈籠玩耍。也有一種稱為湯圓(裡面包著各種餡料，像是紅豆、芝麻、花生或是鮮肉)，人們會在燈光與花燈籠罩的氣氛下享用湯圓。

新年快樂。

Happy Birthday Ria

Tomorrow my baby sister turns 28. Not so much a baby anymore. Sorry, Mother.

Full Moon Over Gaza

I don’t think it is technically a full moon, but there it is.

9 January 1974

Earlier in the day it was just us sisters. We went shopping because that’s what Dara wanted to do. I don’t really like shopping much and shopping with my sisters can be draining. When I shop I go where I need to go, buy what I need to buy and go home. When the four of us are together it can take hours just to look at shoes. But I like to spend time with them and if they want to go shopping I’ll go along. I’ve made them do what I wanted to do plenty of times.

She would not want me to say but she is now 35 years old. She is so far over the hill that it is behind her. Next year instead of shopping we are comparing nursing homes.

2008: It’s the End of the World As We Know It and I Feel Fine

My nephew Yoel had his bar mitzvah simcha. Mazel tov. I went to China for a little over a month. I visited friends in 安徽 , 江蘇 , 雲林 , and one of my favourite cities in the world 上海 . Paul McCartney came to Israel for the first and last time and I saw him in concert. Rock on. I dumped 2 boyfriends, 1 because of a stupid argument that highlighted a major flaw in our relationship and 1 because we simply weren’t compatible. I lost another boyfriend after he proposed marriage. I didn’t want to marry him and there wasn’t any going back at that point. More fish in the pond for me. I passed 1000 hours PIC in the 206. That brings me closer to my highest average in the 212. I like them both but the 206 is my favourite.

Why Don’t We Do It in the Road

I asked him who sang “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”. He said Paul. Then John. Then George. I asked him who played lead guitar. He was sure it was a trick question so he said John. When I told him it was Eric Clapton he said, “I didn't know he was in the Beatles?”

Is it any wonder I dumped the guy?